lolturtles

No Sir, Those Aren't My 79 Adorable Turtles Covered In Pantyhose Hiding In This Package At The Airport

What! How did those 79 turtles get into that package? No way, I didn’t cover them in pantyhose and try to smuggle them into China, Mr. Airport Worker — they must’ve crawled in there on their own. That’s the pretend defense we’re imagining after authorities at the Shanghai airport discovered a box full of illegal live turtles.

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