Hey kids, Holiday Cat here. I’m taking a break from looking out the window and purring with my eyes shut as people fall down in the snow to start getting my holiday gift return strategy together. Yes, it seems that some people forgot that I hate catnip and love sardines. But before I rush out, I like to know everyone’s return policies to avoid any embarrassing situations at the cash register that might result in my back arched and hair standing on end.
If you’ve been procrastinating about buying Christmas gifts for the past eleven months, it’s time to fish or cut bait (and, being a cat, I prefer that you fish, thank you very much). And, at this point, you can basically a) brave the insane crowds at the mall, b) spend a few hundred on ultra-super-express shipping, or c) give a Consumerist Anti-Gift Card.
With just four days left until Christmas, it may be time to admit you’re going to end up stiffing someone. You could just do what I do: just purr and let them give you gifts. If that’s not an option for you, there are other choices. According to a new poll from our calculating cousins at Consumer Reports, about half of the people who don’t finish their gift shopping in time give IOUs instead.
I’ve left strict word upstairs that the cat-sitter must be tipped well. So far, it’s worked. The fancy food comes out, the litter box is kept extra clean, and I even get to sleep in the master bedroom. But not everyone is so generous with their cash.
Holiday Cat here. My cousin Tax Cat is out shopping, so I thought I’d pop in and offer some helpful tips before he comes back with his calculator and thick glasses and ruins everything. So, shoppers, let’s talk about store cards. Specifically, let’s talk about they kind of suck.