So, a TSA employee allegedly planted a small bag of white powder in a college students carry-on, then pretended to “find it.” As a joke! Or something! He’s such a kidder!
You know how sometimes in football both teams will screw up on the same play and the penalties will offset? We’ve just found the fraud version of that situation. Three men brought a laptop computer box to Walmart and said that they’d been sold an empty box. Walmart thought they were being scammed, so they called the police. That’s when all hell broke loose.
- “Police are hunting for some big time thieves this morning in Philadelphia. Two armed men robbed a Northeast Philadelphia Wal-Mart Sunday morning. It happened shortly after 2 a.m. at the store on Roosevelt Boulevard. The suspects were wearing Walmart smocks. They made their way into the store, forced a manager into a safe and duct taped another employee before fleeing with about $300,000 in cash. No one was injured.”
“A cargo container that apparently fell from a ship washed up on the Outer Banks of North Carolina today and spilled thousands of bags of Doritos brand tortilla chips on the beach. Scavengers collected the chips, which were apparently still fresh due to their airtight packaging. It was unknown which ship had lost the cargo or to what port it was bound.”
Carbon nanotubes have one of the highest tensile strengths of any material known to man, which is how we know that the Wii wrist strap is not made of them. The Wii strap has been breaking at inopportune times all over the country since the Wii’s release in mid-November—and the results have been disastrous enough to warrant a few news stories and at least one blog dedicated to documenting the destruction. Because after you’ve bounced a video game controller off your laptop and into your brand new plasma tv—you’re going to take a picture. And we’re going to laugh. In all seriousness, Nintendo might have a little problem on its hands if these “accidents” are caused by a faulty wrist strap. May we suggest Kevlar next time?—MEGHANN MARCO
Introducing our new favorite alleged thief, Greg G. Giannotta. Our buddy Greg, “hid inside a furniture box at Kmart until closing time and, according to police, swept the jewelry department nearly clean of merchandise.”