Inside, email addresses, phone numbers, and addresses for over 100 different companies to inject your customer service complaints into their corporate executive offices, and get it well on the way to success.
helio
![Reach Helio Executives](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/helioshifter.jpg?w=178&h=134&crop=1)
Reach Helio Executives
Cellphone provider Helio’s business line is 310-445-7000. Press 4 to reach the company directory and then you can pull up all sorts of people, like the executives found on this page. Good for when Helio’s underwhelming and outsourced customer service droids fail.
![Three Weeks Later, Your Helio Phone Is Still Not Activated](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heliobuilding.jpg?w=250&h=195&crop=1)
Three Weeks Later, Your Helio Phone Is Still Not Activated
Reader Katherine has been trying for the past 3 weeks to get her Helio phone activated and has had no luck. The CSRs say they’re working on transferring her number from Verizon, but when she calls Verizon they say that no one from Helio has called. How mysterious.
![Sprint Is The Suckiest Cellphone Company](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/sprintyfulton.jpg?w=300&h=225&crop=1)
Sprint Is The Suckiest Cellphone Company
According to Google, Sprint is the suckiest cellphone company. When you query “____ sucks,” filling in the name of different providers, Sprint returns the most results. Here’s how all the providers stacked up:
![Helio's "Total Happiness Guarantee" Evidently Uses Alternative Understanding Of The English Language](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heliodevice.jpg?w=178&h=225&crop=1)
Helio's "Total Happiness Guarantee" Evidently Uses Alternative Understanding Of The English Language
Helio offers a “Total Happiness Guarantee” which says that if you don’t like their phone or service for any reason you can return it within 30 days for your money back, no questions asked. However, their customer service staff is poorly trained and could try to tell you don’t get sales tax refunded, blogs LifeClever. It’s also going to take at least four months for the refund to process, he found, along with other annoying fun plot points.
![More Helio Hell](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heliosucks.jpg?w=200&h=225&crop=1)
More Helio Hell
If you cancel Helio because their customer service is run by jackholes, be sure to check you really are canceled. Stella writes:
…they neglected to cancel my account after I returned the equipment and canceled my service — and didn’t send me any bills/communication, only to report me to a collection agency a few months later. It was a big and annoying ordeal, I already didn’t like the company and lack of customer service which is why I originally canceled, but after this situation, to say I have lost respect for them is just not enough.
Then again, if their call centers are bollocks, then what’s to say they’ll give you the right answer when you call? Guess the only solution is to not sign up with those pack of Scientologists in the first place. — BEN POPKEN
![Helio Baits Customer With 1-Year Contract, Switches Him To 2-Year](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heliooceanbox.jpg?w=300&h=225&crop=1)
Helio Baits Customer With 1-Year Contract, Switches Him To 2-Year
I wanted to sign up for the Ocean on May 13th, but I noticed that on the web site, the only option for contracts was a 24 month agreement. Given that Helio is a new company, I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to two years. I called Helio to find out if I could get a one-year agreement. The customer service rep that I spoke to was very accommodating and said I could have a one year deal. I mentioned a web promo code that would get me some other discounts, including the $30 activation fee waved, and $25 off the first four months of service, and she said that I could have all that, as well as a nice discount on the phone itself. I signed up then and there.
![Helio Call Centers Still Staffed By Nincompoops](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/skydaytonhelio.jpg?w=200&h=194&crop=1)
Helio Call Centers Still Staffed By Nincompoops
Not only does virtual cellphone carrier Helio work by piggybacking off Sprint’s network, it seems to have leased their call centers’ famous dedication to customer service as well.
![Helio Call Centers Staffed By Retards](../../consumermediallc.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/skydayton.jpg?w=300&h=225&crop=1)
Helio Call Centers Staffed By Retards
Helio is an exciting new cellphone company! We heard about them some months ago when they just got started and were launching 2-page spreads in major magazines and taking out ads on prominent websites, except then they decided to only pay for the magazine ads and told the websites to go screw themselves. This general air of assclowns spinning asshats on sticks at the asscircus trickles down all the way to their call centers, which, based on reader Dave’s complaint, has their head totally up their ass. Which must hurt because it’s also got a spinning asshat on it (on a stick, no less) but we digress.