O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d with the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit beneath my shady roof; there thou may’st rest, and tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe, and all the daughters of the year shall take the Consumerist Quiz!
The first full week after the end of summer and we’re already packing away the cargo shorts, swimsuits, squirt guns, and our dreams of ever recapturing the joy of youth (Is that just me? Sorry). While we may not all be able to vividly recall a time when we were guileless babes, quietly pondering the future while looking up through the tall grasses, we should all be able to remember the things that have happened since Monday morning, right? [More]
The kids are back at school. You don’t have any vacation days left until next calendar year. Existence is an abysmal chasm from which nothing escapes, the self is a meaningless fictional construct, and the Panthers lost last night. But you can still take the Consumerist Quiz! [More]
To quote James Douglas Morrison, “summer’s almost gone,” though not really, depending on how you define the term summer. For fans of all things equinox-based, there are three weeks to go. For many school kids and college students, summer has been dead for days. For Consumerist readers south of the Equator, it’s months away from even beginning. So what the heck was Jim Morrison on about? Lizard King, my butt. [More]
If someone says “Would you like a strawberry?” you know exactly what they’re talking about. But what if someone asked for your opinion on Dulse: Would you understand that they were referencing an edible form of red algae, or maybe they’re talking about a character from Babylon 5? [More]
Maybe the rest of the world thinks you’re smart — always coming to you for help setting the clock on their VCR or for recommendations on which wine cooler they should pair with their rice cakes — but inside you harbor doubts. “I can’t possibly know everything” you tell yourself while helpfully directing a stranger toward the nearest Fashion Cafe. “If only there was a way for me to think back over the past few days to see if I do indeed have perfect recall — wait, am I not wearing shoes??” [More]
This summer and its Olympic games might feel like they will never end, but this week certainly will. That can mean only one thing… Actually, it means an awful lot more than one thing, but there’s just one item that we currently care about: Testing your memory to see how well you’ve been paying attention. [More]
It’s not your fault that the folks in Rio scheduled handball in the middle of the workday. We understand that you won’t be denied your chance to watch Durdina Jaukovic and her teammates from Montenegro go up against the favored Norwegians, led by Emilie Hegh Arntzen. Don’t worry — we’re not asking you to do your job. Just take a few minutes to see if you can recall anything else from this week other than that sweet 25-25 draw between Tunisia and Qatar. [More]
Alphabet owns Google, and Facebook owns Instagram, Yum Brands owns KFC… and they all meet meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as “The Meadows” with the Queen, the Vatican, The Gettys, the Rothschilds, and — of course — Col. Sanders. Take our quiz to find out how well you know the other huge company-owning companies that have yet to be initiated into the Pentaverate. [More]
We write stories. You read them. It’s a purely transactional arrangement; no strings attached. Question is: How well do you remember what you’ve read? Take the Consumerist Quiz and find out. [More]
The federal government is an alphabet soup of bureaus, departments, commissions, agencies, administrations that report to various directors, chairs, commissioners, administrators, and cabinet members. It’s difficult enough for folks inside the Beltway to keep track of them all, so how much do the rest of us know about the people in all those huge concrete buildings? [More]
That’s right: It’s time to once again put on the mental SCUBA gear and dive deep into your memory, to see if you can recall all the things you’ve read this week. [More]
Stephen Colbert Says Comedy Central Unhappy With CBS’s Use Of ‘Stephen Colbert,’ So He Introduces New ‘Stephen Colbert’
Last week during the Republican National Convention, CBS Late Show host Stephen Colbert brought backhis arch-conservative former alter ego — also named Stephen Colbert — from Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report to comment on the goings-on in Cleveland. The brief stunt apparently didn’t go over well with the lawyers at Comedy Central, forcing Colbert to a new intellectual property work-around: introducing a completely new character who just happens to look and sound exactly like him. [More]
The TSA runs a customer service line on Twitter, at @AskTSA. Most of the questions and complaints it handles are of exactly the sort you’d expect: can I bring an empty water bottle through security? What’s going on with PreCheck? This line at this airport too long!, and so forth. But its staff is dedicated, and will honestly and to the best of its ability answer any question you politely ask of it. Including, for example, the handling of certain… artifacts.
Monday there was news. Then Tuesday there was also news, some of it new. Wednesday had news too, if we remember it correctly. News definitely happened yesterday (we read about it online), and we have the punched time-cards to show that news newsed earlier today. But have you been keeping up? [More]
Sure, we all know that George Costanza worked, however briefly, at Kruger Industrial Smoothing, and that Laverne and Shirley toiled away at Shotz Brewery (before they randomly picked up and moved to California in Season 6), but have you really been paying attention to all those fake companies? [More]
We went easy on you last week — the holiday-shortened week and residual high spirits resulted in fewer questions and easily eliminated wrong answers — and it showed, with the median score on the Consumerist Quiz soaring to 75% (up from the typical weekly result of around 60%). Think you can continue with your high-scoring ways, or are you due for a post all-star break slump? [More]
Did you somehow become comfortably lulled into thinking 2016 had already crested Peak Weird? If so, you clearly got there a little too early. Today’s case in point: The ousted CEO that America loves to hate, Martin Shkreli, is back in the news this month… as the villain of an off-Broadway musical.