Barbie has spent her entire life standing on her tiptoes and boy, she must be tired. Too long has she toiled for hours in dream mansions and in ice cream shoppes without the benefit of having her feet flat on the ground, encased comfortably in flat shoes. Her time has come: Mattel’s newest line of dolls have adjustable ankles, and a line of flat footwear to go with that new flexibility.
That flat basketball or soccer ball that’s been sitting in your closet for the past few years won’t help you get back into shape in its current state. You always knew you’d repair it one day, and although today may not be that day you go through with it, at least it’s the one in which you find out how to do it.
Why drop $285 on a pair of Kate Spade glitter flats when you can make some yourself? Over at We Are Not Martha they show you how to take an old pair of flats and turn them into foot bedazzlers with just some mod podge, glitter, a foam brush, clear glaze spray and a mimosa.
If we were our sister site Gizmodo, we’d be able to fill this brief prologue to Texas Teabag’s email about tire shopping in the Lone Star State with a 1:1 ratio of words to teabagging puns. Unfortunately, we’re not nearly as talented in the subtle art of the oral/anal/vaginal entendre; our more imaginative and literary readers will have to mentally superimpose these literary gems upon our description.