fireworks

Those Aren't Bedbugs, Says Ohio Travelodge. They're Dirt!

Those Aren't Bedbugs, Says Ohio Travelodge. They're Dirt!

People, we’re never going to attract Canadian tourists if we keep scaring the hell out of them with fireworks and bedbugs. Esmond and his girlfriend were staying at a Travelodge in Sandusky, Ohio on July 5th, and couldn’t sleep because of fellow Travelodge guests shooting off fireworks in the parking lot. Around 1:30 a.m. there was a loud boom:

Video: Fireworks Are Fun Until They Blow Up In Your Pants

Video: Fireworks Are Fun Until They Blow Up In Your Pants

Enjoy yourselves out there this 4th, folks, but do remember to be careful with those fireworks, as seen in this edited version of the CPSC fireworks safety video set to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. It’s funny when mannequins blow up. Your hands, jeans, or the desk in front of your face, not so much.

Are Fireworks Legal In My State?

Are Fireworks Legal In My State?

It’s about that time again — when patriotic Americans from every walk of life celebrate the violent birth of this great nation by blowing shit up. We love it. That’s why we’d like to help make sure you’re aware of your state’s (potentially uncool) laws regarding fireworks. We’ve posted the CPSC’s summary of state regulations inside. Enjoy.

Chicago Woman Calls 911, Hears Hysterical Laughter Then Is Hung Up On

Chicago Woman Calls 911, Hears Hysterical Laughter Then Is Hung Up On

A Chicago woman called 311 (non-emergency police services) to report illegal and dangerous fireworks exploding over her home. She was transferred to 911 where she was greeted by hysterical laughter.

We Have No Comment About The Name Of This Box Of Walmart Fireworks

We Have No Comment About The Name Of This Box Of Walmart Fireworks

Reader Jay bought the above-pictured fireworks and then sent us a picture. Perhaps he thought we were actually an R. Kelly fansite?

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If you need to blow things up on July 4th, please be careful. Light fireworks on a hard surface and keep a bucket of water nearby. Use a lighting stick, not your hands to light the fireworks – handless consumers have a tough time giving thumbs down to poor customer service. Particularly important: “If you don’t understand [fireworks] or aren’t sure how to use them, ask the firework experts before you leave the store.”