Hide your children and gird your loins, because just like The Highlander, there can be only one. From the depths of the stinking swamps of mergepocalypse, come our two ignoble contenders. First, the dread pirate Comcast, known throughout the land for gobbling up all companies that are foolish enough to sail through its treacherous waters. Second, Ticketmaster, Lord of Tickets, Duke of fees, Master of… tickets. After forming an unholy alliance with LiveNation, Lord Ticketmaster has united the forces of darkness in a quest to force all people of this good land to pay $2.50 for the use of their own printers.
This is it, folks. The Final Deathmatch is here. To reach the final round AIG defeated #32 Target, #17 Peanut Corporation of America, #9 Walmart, and #5 Ticketmaster. Comcast had an equally impressive showing, waltzing past formidable opponents such as #30 DirecTV, #14 Capital One, #11 GM, and finally, last year’s returning champion #2 Bank of America (Countrywide, Merrill Lynch) went down in an upset last night.