crimes against cheese

Mike Mozart

Are There Industrial Chemicals In Your Mac & Cheese?

While the federal government banned phthalates — industrial chemicals used in anything from vinyl flooring to perfume — from baby products like teething rings and toys almost 10 years ago, a new study says these potentially harmful toxins could be showing up elsewhere in your kid’s life: Macaroni and cheese. [More]

ShardsOfBlue

Truck Carrying 40K Pounds Of Delicious Cheese Overturns On Highway

We are never fans of wasted food, and so it is with a certain measure of sadness that we must tell you: a semi-truck carrying 40,000 pounds of shredded cheddar overturned on an Oregonian highway, spilling the trailer’s delicious contents everywhere. [More]

quinn.anya

Exec Of Company That Sold Fake Parmesan Cheese May Avoid Jail With Food Pantry Work

Remember the company that peddled imitation grated Parmesan cheese and billed it as the real deal (silly question — of course you do, no one could forget such a crime against cheese)? U.S. prosecutors are now asking that the executive of Castle Cheese Inc. be sentenced to time working in a food pantry or soup kitchen. [More]

Museum Silkeborg

Archaeologists Find Evidence Of 3,000-Year-Old Cheesy Cooking Disaster

Have you ever left a pan on the heat a bit too long while cooking, resulting in a hardened, inedible mess that even the strongest scrubbing sponge can’t clean? You’ll be glad to know that Norsemen living 3,000 years ago are just like us: archaeologists say they’ve unearthed evidence of a cooking disaster involving burnt cheese. [More]

dn1967b

Not Again: Some Jerk Stole 20,000 Pounds Of Cheese In Wisconsin

If you thought cheese could be safely left alone, months after a series of cheese thefts rocked the dairy love world, you thought wrong. Some brazen jerk out there is still stealing cheese in Wisconsin. [More]

Dan Bock

Some Jerk Stole 19 Cases Of Provolone From A Colorado Restaurant

While we take all forms of food theft very seriously, when someone commits a cheese-related crime, we get very annoyed. We’re none too pleased right now with the jerk who pilfered almost $2,000 worth of provolone from a Colorado eatery, a jerk whose crime is depriving potential customers of the enjoyment of eating cheese. [More]

Walmart Faces Lawsuit For Selling Parmesan Cheese With Wood Pulp Filler

Walmart Faces Lawsuit For Selling Parmesan Cheese With Wood Pulp Filler

With federal regulators now cracking down on Parmesan cheese products that contain wood pulp and other fillers, it was just a mater of time before the first lawsuit was filed against a retailer selling its grated cheese product as “100% Parmesan.”  [More]

Sargento Shortchanges Customers Who Prefer Sharp Cheddar Cheese

Sargento Shortchanges Customers Who Prefer Sharp Cheddar Cheese

Megan was shopping for cheese at Target over the weekend, as many sensible people do, and she noticed something strange about the pre-sliced packages of Sargento cheddar. It came in two different sizes, which had the same price. Yes, it turns out that one of them was the victim of the Grocery Shrink Ray, taking the total from 20 slices to 18, depriving customers of enough slices to make an entire grilled cheese sandwich. UPDATE: The different sizes may represent different package sizes between cheddar types, which is confusing. [More]

Jewel-Osco Pulls House Brand Of Grated Cheese Over Wood Pulp Concerns

Jewel-Osco Pulls House Brand Of Grated Cheese Over Wood Pulp Concerns

As reports spread of federal regulators cracking down on Parmesan cheese products that contain a bunch of a wood pulp and other fillers, one national grocery chain says it’s pulling its house brand of grated cheese from shelves amid concerns about the food additive. [More]

Grated Cheese Cops Want To Protect Us All From Parmesan Full Of Cheddar And Wood

Grated Cheese Cops Want To Protect Us All From Parmesan Full Of Cheddar And Wood

As people who enjoy being alive and healthy, perhaps we should be glad that the Food and Drug Administration, regulators of our country’s pantries and medicine cabinets, prioritizes risks to our health over things that may be inaccurate or misleading but that ultimately don’t harm us. Unfortunately, that means that we’ve all been eating a lot of wood-infused grated cheese that sometimes isn’t even the type of cheese advertised. [More]

$70K Worth Of Stolen Cheese Wasting Away In WI Landfill, Fate Of $90K Worth Of Parmesan Still Undecided

$70K Worth Of Stolen Cheese Wasting Away In WI Landfill, Fate Of $90K Worth Of Parmesan Still Undecided

Cross your fingers, my fellow dairy lovers: the fate of $90,000 worth of innocent Parmesan is hanging in the balance. [More]

McDonald’s Customer Files Lawsuit Accusing Chain Of Not Using Real Cheese In Mozzarella Sticks

McDonald’s Customer Files Lawsuit Accusing Chain Of Not Using Real Cheese In Mozzarella Sticks

As the saying goes, “McDonald’s has 99 problems, and mozzarella sticks that don’t contain cheese make up at least two of them.*” After customers raked the chain over the coals for selling breaded shells filled with fried air instead of mozzarella, another customer in California has filed a proposed class-action lawsuit against McDonald’s, claiming its version of mozzarella is not, by definition, actual cheese. [More]

quinn.anya

Wisconsin Police Recover Second Load Of Stolen Cheese

We can all rest easy tonight, safe in the knowledge that cheese that was once ripped from the arms of its rightful owner has been safely returned. Wisconsin police say they’ve found a second load of stolen cheese, worth $90,000, that was pilfered last week. [More]

McDonald’s Apologizes For Giving People Fried Air Instead Of Mozzarella Sticks

McDonald’s Apologizes For Giving People Fried Air Instead Of Mozzarella Sticks

Facing the righteous indignation of customers demanding mozzarella sticks that actually contain cheese, McDonald’s is doing a dairy apology dance, saying that cheese must have somehow escaped its breaded casing. [More]

McDonald’s Customers Complaining Because Mozzarella Sticks Should Contain Cheese

McDonald’s Customers Complaining Because Mozzarella Sticks Should Contain Cheese

Police In Wisconsin Track Down $70K Worth Of Stolen Cheese

Police In Wisconsin Track Down $70K Worth Of Stolen Cheese

Wisconsin has been in a state of gripping suspense over the last few days, after two separate cheese thefts saw a total of $160,000 go missing. Now, $70,000 in cheese has recovered in Milwaukee (unharmed, I hope). No arrests have been made and police have no further information (beyond the fact that cheese is delicious) at this time. [Germantown Police Department] *Thanks for the tip, Mom!

[More]

Some Jerks Stole $160,000 Worth Of Cheese In Two Separate Thefts In Wisconsin

Some Jerks Stole $160,000 Worth Of Cheese In Two Separate Thefts In Wisconsin

UPDATE: Police have recovered $70,000 worth of that stolen cheese. [More]