Blacksmith Brands bought the PediaCare line of children’s cough and cold medicines from Johnson & Johnson last November. Unfortunately, the company hadn’t switched production over to a different facility, so last Friday it had to recall nearly 100,000 bottles that are guilty by association. There have been no complaints so far about the products, but when your manufacturer is under investigation by the FDA’s criminal division you tend to want to play it safe.
My skull a steadily expanding hydrocephalic sack of mucus, I’ve been swigging a lot of cough syrup lately. I’ve spent a hundred euros on the stuff over the last couple of days, which — roughly translated into America’s currency, the U.S. Cowboyo — is a hell of a lot of money. You empty your wallet on the counter of the local pharmacist, but even in your feverish daze, you know cough medicines don’t really work: it just makes you feel more proactive about your chances of fighting off your body’s alarmingly rapid decomposition into a jell-o monster made of phlegm.