Next time someone hassles you about how lousy the American diet is, point them to a new survey which shows that British consumers spend about 25% of their weekly food budget on junk food, including potato chips (or “crisps,” as they so quaintly call them), chocolate and soda. Then go finish your bag of chips.
Culturally bankrupt shoppers are now buying twice as many forks as knives, according to a British department store. The Brits blame the erosion of their cherished culture on “the American habit of using a single fork.” And that’s not all. Apparently we’re also ruining their understanding and respect for the elegant tradition of proper place settings.
A British electronics retailer asked 2,000 men and women what they’d give up in exchange for a 50″ plasma TV, and according to them, “47 percent of men would give up sex for half a year.” Among women, the number drops to about a third who are wiling to forgo sex. We’re not going to pretend for a second that this study is in any way scientific, but still—six months? Seriously?
John Bird and John Fortune are British satirists who, as The Long Johns, explain in eminently practical terms exactly how the subprime meltdown came to be.