We’ve seen our share of consumers gone wrong, people who rob banks and maybe get caught, maybe don’t. But never before have we seen someone risk their dinner during a heist. A woman accused of robbing a bank in Michigan got away with a heist recently by claiming she had a bomb in a bag. In no world is spaghetti sauce an explosive device, unless maybe Gallagher and his mallet are involved.
What’s a bunch of suspected bank robbers to do when the cops are closing in during a high-speed chase in South Los Angeles? Apparently that is the perfect time to hurl your ill-gotten gains out of the window and make it rain cash. The up side for passersby — free cash! And if the ensuing melee gets in the way of the cops closing in, perhaps that makes for a good getaway tactic. But also, really dangerous to have people diving for free money in the streets.
A toilet plunger isn’t a terrifying weapon to anyone but germaphobes, or maybe a child with nightmares of being chased by Daleks. Yet a man in Utica, NY thought that it made a terrifying enough weapon that he attempted to rob three different banks while threatening tellers with the plunger. None of the robberies were successful.
It’s always nice to reward others for providing good service — and apparently that includes the friendly neighborhood bank teller working at the window during a robbery. Cops in Dallas say a firefighter robbed a bank and handed $20 of the stolen money back to the teller as a tip.
“So you want to rob this bank? We’re sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed for today. Have a nice day!” That’s what we imagine a brave teller told a would-be bank robber in Chicago, sending away the woman and telling her to come back some other time. Yeah, and the fun part is, it actually worked.
It’s a bad day on the ol’ robbery job when you foil your own attempt to steal money. The FBI is on the lookout for a man who scared himself so badly while waiting for the money he was trying to rob, he fled the scene with nothing to show for it but a set of rattled nerves.
A man robbed a Citizen’s Bank in Manchester, New Hampshire dressed as a tree, according to the Union Leader. His clothing has been described as “adorned with tree branches held on by duct tape,” and it was noted that “His short, dark hair and mustache were clearly visible between the leaves.”