Avoid Shoplifting After Faking Your Death To Avoid Shoplifting Charge

Here’s a tip: if you’re going to fake your own death to beat a shoplifting charge, remember that’s a big step. Don’t jeopardize your hard work by shoplifting again at a different department store and getting arrested. A woman in Nashville allegedly did just that, and is now accused of stealing from Dillard’s after faking her death to get out of a shoplifting charge at Macy’s. She did not try the controversial “Dawn of the Dead” defense. [USA Today]


Baby Allowed Inside Fanciest Restaurant In Chicago, Cries

Alinea in Chicago is an expensive molecular gastronomy restaurant. It is so exclusive and fancy that most adults probably imagine that they aren’t allowed inside. Apparently the question of “can I bring my infant?” has never come up…until this weekend. [More]

Chuck E. Cheese Brawl Involved Food, Furniture, Pepper Spray

Chuck E. Cheese Brawl Involved Food, Furniture, Pepper Spray

It seemed like any other night at a Florida Chuck E. Cheese: Pizza, games, fun, games, robo-animals. Then a brawl broke out between two partying families over–what else?–prize tickets. According to one woman on the scene, the fight escalated to include as many as thirty adults and a can of pepper spray. [More]

Do Not Call 9-1-1 To Request Beer Delivery

Beer is one of the major Consumerist food groups, along with tacos, cheese, and bacon. It’s very important and nice to have around. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should dial up emergency services to report that your granddaughter won’t buy you beer, as one Tennessee woman allegedly did. [Associated Press]


When A Man Loves A Sub Shop Window Very, Very Much, He Gets Arrested

According to police, a Washington state man had a very strange reaction when he learned that the sub shop he wanted to visit was closed. Some people might knock on the door, or try to find another place to get a sandwich. That is not what he did. The cops say that he pulled down his pants and mashed his genitals against the window, and was arrested for indecent exposure. [More]


Please Don’t Fling Your Empty E-Cigarette Cartridges Out The Car Window

E-cigarettes, even the ones that are plugged into the correct charger and don’t explode, have a problem. Well, their users have a problem. Some former cigarette smokers who are used to flinging butts out the window when they finish a smoke are having trouble letting go of their nasty habit. The trouble is that metal e-cig cartridges are, well, metal, and puncture tires out on the roads. [More]


What Kind Of Jerk Refuses To Tip A Waiter Because He’s Gay?

While endless debates about the practice of tipping food-service employees rage all over the Internet, most people agree on one thing: if you’re happy with the service you received, you should leave some kind of tip. Some diners at a Kansas Carrabba’s restaurant allegedly made their own exception to that: “unless you disapprove of the server’s personal life.” [More]

Police: Shoplifter Shoved Steak And Seafood Down Pants

Police: Shoplifter Shoved Steak And Seafood Down Pants

Employees of a Price Chopper in Troy, N.Y. noticed something kind of strange in the wee hours of the morning: a customer stuffed steak and seafood in his pants, then walked out of the store. Police followed the man on a four-block car chase with lights and sirens, ultimately capturing him and the meats when he drove into a pole. [More]


Everyone Sees Themselves In This Rage-Filled Customer Service Meltdown Video

Sometimes a picture, story, or video posted online seems so over-the-top that we think that it can’t possibly be real. It has to be a viral marketing ploy, a prank, or somehow involve Jimmy Kimmel. Listening to this recording that purports to be a real customer service call to a home security company, we desperately wanted it to be a hoax…but the court of Internet public opinion has ruled that it probably isn’t. [More]

(Bill Ward's Brickpile)

Man Ate In Restaurants, Refused To Pay: Sentenced To 3 Years In Prison

Authorities don’t know why an Illinois man skipped out on his tabs at two restaurants. Was he broke? Was the food terrible? We don’t know. What we do know is that twice in a period of two months, he ordered a nice meal at a restaurant, then simply told waitstaff that he couldn’t pay and waited for the police to arrive. [More]

Your Review Isn’t Really About The Product? Don’t Whine When It’s Rejected


We often receive complaints from readers who have totally legitimate gripes about shipping or customer service issues at retailers, both online and in real life. Unfortunately, they chose to share these complaints with the world by writing about them in the retailer’s product reviews. The problem with this plan is that companies control which reviews are and aren’t posted. If they don’t post yours, it’s not because they hate free speech: it’s because you didn’t follow the directions. [More]


If You Don’t Want That Drink You Just Ordered, Don’t Throw It At The Taco Bell Employee

It’s not a good week for Taco Bell employees. First, one particularly mouthy worker was caught on camera apparently licking a stack of hard taco shells. And now comes the case of the so-called Taco Bell Tossers: Police say three customers ordered up some grub and drinks, and then promptly threw the liquid back in the faces of the drive-through workers. [More]

Just like Morgan and Jack! But not.

Pals Realize They Should’ve Added “Get Arrested” To Bucket List As Well As “Retail Theft”

Kids these days! They make these pacts, give in to peer pressure and end up– what’s that? Two adult women made a silly deal to do a bunch of stuff on their bucket lists and wind up in jail? Oh, well, that’s different then. And still ridiculous.



Alleged Shoplifter Makes A Run For It, Loses Pants

Always dress for the task at hand. If you’re going on a long hike, wear layers. Going to the beach? Put on some sunscreen. Suspicious clouds in the sky? Pack an umbrella. And if you’re going shoplifting, for gosh sakes, make sure your clothes fit properly. And put on some underpants. [More]

(Ron Dauphin)

Theft Of A $37 Walmart Printer Turns Into High-Speed Chase With Meth Flying Everywhere

We live in a world where the desire for a $37 printer can lead to a scene straight out of an action movie, complete with a high-speed police chase and drugs flying out the car windows. Police say a couple was spotted lifting a printer from a Walmart in Louisiana and tried to make a run for it. And it was all downhill (super fast) from there.



Man Uses $530K Of Insurance Money Meant To Pay For Wife’s Dialysis To Buy Trucks, Skid Loader

When a loved one’s health is hanging in the balance, one might think that a husband would do anything in his power to help his wife. One might think that, but in the case of a man who was sentenced to 18 months in prison for stealing more than $530,000 in health insurance payments, he used that money on things like cars and a skid loader instead of paying for his wife’s kidney dialysis.



Man Arrested For Overnight Grocery Store Feast Of Whipped Cream, Steak, Shrimp, And Beer

According to police, a Kentucky man held the best overnight grocery store campout ever in the wee hours of Monday morning. Employees knew that something was up when they found 57 cans of Reddi-Whip brand whipped cream in the store’s trash. The whipped cream cans use nitrous oxide as a propellant, see. Oh, but the festivities didn’t stop there. [More]

(Morton Fox)

A Bucket Of Chili Proves Useful In Thwarting Would-Be Robbers At Chicken Joint

Silly would-be robbers — if you haven’t learned by now not to try to steal from a restaurant with an abundance of hot stuff around, well, things probably won’t work out for you. Police Down Under say a man attempting a heist at a Sydney chicken shop left with a faceful of hot chili flakes instead of cash, due to a quick-thinking employee.