This ear canal vacuum is fun and healthy!

This Exists: Wax Vac, The Ear Canal Sucking Machine

The best infomercial/direct-response ad products solve problems that you had no idea you had. The Chia Pet? The Topsy Tail? The Shake Weight? The Snuggie? The Comfort WipeAll things that your life would have continued just fine without, but they make so much sense that you simply must have them. We’re not sure that’s the case with the Wax Vac, which combines the glamor of an ear thermometer with all of the fun of sticking an electric sucking machine in your ear while grinning. [More]

This 1-800-Flowers ‘Deluxe Fruit And Gourmet Basket’ Is Some Bruised Fruit, Beef Jerky, And Cheese Nips

Looks tasty.

It’s not that David expected earth-shattering things from a 1-800-Flowers gift basket. He didn’t expect it to look exactly like the photo at left, especially since he ordered a smaller size. He was expecting something that didn’t look like your what lazy bachelor(ette) friend who can’t cook dredged up in the back of their kitchen cabinets to bring to your Super Bowl Party. [More]

FTD Thinks ‘A Different Vase Is OK’ And ‘Change The Flowers Entirely’ Mean The Same Thing

The same thing. Right?

At high-volume times like Valentine’s Day, and at any other time, really, flower-delivery services like FTD reserve the right to substitute something similar if they don’t have the exact item in stock that you want. Mark was upset shortly after Valentine’s Day because he ordered an arrangement that had a purple container, purple flowers, and some white lilies in it. Purple is her favorite color, you see, and lilies are her favorite flower. Isn’t Mark thoughtful? Speaking for the ladies of America, he is. He’s also really mad. [More]

More Valentine’s Day Mishaps From Proflowers

More Valentine’s Day Mishaps From Proflowers

Mykel picked out a lovely bouquet for his fiancée from Proflowers, but the lovely and lush bouquet isn’t what showed up on her desk. What she got had a lot fewer flowers than it had looked like on the site. [More]


Florists Hate FTD And Teleflora Even More Than Disappointed Girlfriends Do

As a customer, you see ads from the ancient florist wire services like FTD and Teleflora. Readers write in and complain to us about those specific brands, since that’s the website they visit and the brand name that’s familiar. When you order up some flowers, though, that’s not who brings them to your door. It’s locally-owned florists, small business owners, who actually arrange and deliver your gifts. They might receive orders from the wire services, but often earn no profit or even take a loss on putting it together. [More]

One of these things is greener than the other.

FTD Kicks Off The Valentine’s Day Disappointment Season With Subpar Roses On February 11th

Alex tried to beat the rush. He had a dozen roses delivered to his lady’s workplace on Monday, February 11th, paying $96 for the privilege. Whatever he expected, it was not what appears in the photo that he sent: even properly lit, there’s a lot more green and a lot less luscious red rose in that picture than there should be. [More]

Raiders Of The Lost Walmart Will Take 10 Minutes To Download This Post Over A 56K Modem

Raiders Of The Lost Walmart Will Take 10 Minutes To Download This Post Over A 56K Modem

Among the readers and tipsters of Consumerist are a brave band of explorers on a sacred mission to advance human knowledge. Their quest: to find really, really old crap sitting on the clearance rack at Walmart, and take photos so we can laugh at it. They are the Raiders of the Lost Walmart. Here are their latest finds from the field. [More]


Why Finish Line Can’t Sell Me The Shoes That Are 2 Miles Away, Ships Them From Opposite Coast

“How hard could it be?” Tom asked himself when he set out to use an online-only Finish Line coupon to buy some sneakers. He could stop by his local store and pick the shoes up on his way home from work. Simple! Only not all that simple. It seems like the online and in-store inventory systems of national chain retailers should be integrated, but things are, as they always seem to be in the real world, not that simple. [More]

(Tortuga One)

Why In-Store Pickup Is Kind Of Weird

Jeremy blames the strangeness of his recent electrical cord reel puchase on Sears, but nothing about it was peculiar to that retailer. There was a $20 discrepancy in price for the same item online rather than in the store. Now, few stores price-match online retailers or price-match themselves. What they do offer is in-store pickup for your online order. Jeremy took this to its ridiculous but logical conclusion and purchased his item online, then carried it to the pickup area and out the door. [More]

The flowers Teresa got.

Not-So-Local Florist Disappoints My Mom With Subpar Roses

The Consumerist Garden of Discontent is a recurring theme on this site, because it seems that delivered flowers will never quite measure up to the photos in catalogs or on the website. In hindsight, Teresa wishes that she had just picked up a few bouquets at Trader Joe’s and presented them to her mom in person before she left town. She could have done some quality control, and the end result would have been a lot prettier.


Just a few oxygen options on

Oxygen Products, Oxygen Products, Everywhere! But Can It Really Get Into Your Skin?

The thing about oxygen is, we all need it to survive and thus, we all agree it’s a pretty good thing. No one’s like, “Oh yeah, oxygen? I’ll pass.” As something that is essential to our existence, companies have caught on to its universal appeal and have increasingly been marketing products promising infusions/boosts/bursts/whathaveyou of oxygen that ostensibly are good for your skin, because oxygen is so awesome.  [More]


At Sports Authority, A Gift Receipt Doesn’t Mean Much

Marjorie received a Christmas gift from her sister from Sports Authority, and needs to take it back. No big deal: that’s why her sister included a gift receipt. The problem is that the item’s price has dropped, likely because it’s on clearance, and they want to give Marjorie $77 when her sister paid $101. That’s funny, because that’s against the chain’s stated holiday season return policy…on the web site. In retail stores, who knows?


Proactiv Has My Box Of Skin Cream, Sends Collections After Me Anyway

Proactiv Has My Box Of Skin Cream, Sends Collections After Me Anyway

Eric wanted to give the Proactiv system of skin creams a try. Well, that shouldn’t be so hard: they’re advertised everywhere and apparently very popular. The flaw was that the package didn’t have his office number on it. UPS didn’t know that they could just send it to the mailroom, and instead they dispatched it back to Proactiv. Now the box is allegedly hanging out somewhere on the company’s loading dock, and they’ve sent collections after Eric to pay for the box of creams that he never received. [More]

(The Consumerist)

Chicago Strip Club Offers Free Lap Dances To Boost Holiday Toy Drive Donations

It’s not Toys for Tots, but the goal is the same: A Chicago strip club is embarking on its third annual toy drive with its unique angle on convincing customers to give this holiday season — you give an unopened toy suitable for a child  and you get a lap dance. It’s a simple premise and it’s likely a very popular scheme with the club’s patrons. Lap dances are usually very expensive, after all. [More]


Forget The Whistle: NYC Taxi & Limousine Commission Changes Rules For Cab-Hailing Apps

You can use an app to order a pizza, another to refill your prescriptions and there’s probably one out there that will just tell you you’re pretty, so why not an app to hail a cab? In New York City, the issue of taxi-hailing apps has been a hot issue, as the apps go against rules that forbid cabs from making pre-arranged pick-ups. That’s all about to change, as the city’s Taxi and Limousine Commission voted to approve a temporary new set of rules that will allow such apps. [More]

(Jeremy Brooks)

Judge Tells Man He Can’t Wiggle Out Of $28K Hustler Club Tab Just Because He Was Drunk

Listen, plenty of people have made mistakes while under the influence of alcohol. But booze does not an excuse make, said a judge to man who sued Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club for fraudulent billing over a $28,000 tab he racked up while he was drunk. It’s not the club’s job to protect you from yourself, ruled the judge.  [More]

(Chris Blakeley)

Abercrombie Kids Can’t Count To Three, Exists Outside Of Reality

David has a problem with clothing vendor Abercrombie Kids. They don’t know how to count to three. This would be an issue for many kindergarteners, but is especially problematic for a retailer that offers three-day shipping. Well, maybe someone there knows how to count to three, or even past three. It’s pretty hard to run a business otherwise. The problem is that the shirt that he ordered eight days ago, paying for three-day shipping, still isn’t here. It’s been shipped, but still wasn’t on its way. The shipment had been picked up, but the shirt hadn’t been shipped. It’s interesting that Abercrombie can exist outside of all normal rules of reality like that, but David just wants his daughter’s blouse already. [More]


Hallmark UK: Sorry About That Card For 13-Year-Olds Equating Cleavage To Better Gifts

In the current social media environment, all it takes is one Twitter user tweeting one simple pic and a firestorm of controversy can be ignited. Such was the case when one Twitter user snapped a picture of a Hallmark UK greeting card telling 13-year-old girls they’ll get better presents when they get “bigger boobies,” and it got picked up by another Twitter user with a whole lot of followers. And cue media storm. [More]