Levi’s Turns A Schoolyard Threat Into A Style With “Wedgie Fit” Jeans

Is this real life?

Is this real life?

Has anyone seen Ashton Kutcher lurking around? Because we’re pretty sure we’re getting Punk’d by Levi’s and a new style of jeans it’s pushing for the spring, the “Wedgie” fit.

That look that says, “Someone on the playground just got me good” is the goal for its just-launched line of women’s denim, Levi’s says: The “Wedgie Fit” features a high waist like your typical “Mom” jean, but is designed to lift and separate, thus defeating the flat-bottomed result one often gets when wearing jeans that cover a lot of torso real estate.

“The Wedgie was inspired by the way girls were wearing vintage Levi’s,” Jonathan Cheung, senior vice president of Levi’s Global Design, told Mashable. “Just as the 501 CT was inspired by girls wearing the 501 a little bit slouchy, the Wedgie is inspired by girls [who] were downsizing a vintage 505 and wearing it very close and almost vacuum-packed to the rear-ends — hence the affectionate and cheeky name.”

Lest you’re worried that your Wedgie will overpower you and squeeze you to death in its close embrace, the jeans have added stretch for comfort, Levi’s says, while still fitting snugly.

“What’s great about the vintage 505 is this flatness at the front, that holds your tummy in, and they are a little tight around the back,” Cheung said.

Though this is apparently a real thing that Levi’s is selling, we’re still worried that as soon as a person admits they want a pair, they’ll find their undergarments lodged uncomfortably where the sun never shines, and have to pay $88 to $158 to some playground meanie for the pleasure.