Maker Of Giant Plush Microbes Sells Its Entire Stock Of Ebola Virus Toys

There’s nothing like a bunch of panicky people freaked out about a global health issue to give your business a boost. That is, if you happen to be in the niche industry of selling giant, plush toy microbes. The company behind fuzzy Black Death and adorable Listeria has been doing gangbusters business with its Ebola toys, now that everyone is convinced we’re all getting Ebola (we are not).

Giantmicrobes Inc. has sold out of all three of its Ebola offerings, including the original plush toy as well as the gigantic Ebola Virus and the Ebola Petri Dish selections.

The company promotes the toys as “uniquely contagious,” as part of its roster of gag gifts that it says also serve an educational purpose.

“Since its discovery in 1976, Ebola has become the T. Rex of microbes,” the company says on the Ebola listing, reiterating that you do not want to get real Ebola. The toy, sure. But not the virus that has killed thousands of people in the latest outbreak, mostly in West Africa.

“You do not want to get Ebola,” warns the website. “A short incubation period of 2 to 21 days presages symptoms which include fever, aches, sore throat, and weakness, followed by diarrhea, stomach pain, vomiting, and both internal and external bleeding. And then, for between 50-90 percent of victims, death.”

There’s always Cholera or Norovirus to cuddle up with at night.