Yet Another Shoplifter Busted For Allegedly Stuffing Seafood Down Her Pants


Don’t put me in your pants! (frankieleon.)

What is it about people stealing seafood from stores by way of stuffing it down their pants? Because when I think of a prime environment for fruits of the sea, it is not a cramped, stuffy hot pants space. Nevertheless, yet another bad consumer has been accused of pilfering seafood, this time by allegedly shoving seven frozen lobster tails down her pants.

Police in Florida say the store security guard at a Publix supermarket saw a woman shoving the tails down the front of her pants, with each one valued at about $11.99, reports the Orlando Sentinel. She then allegedly left without paying.

At least it was just the tails — a pantload of live lobsters would’ve made the whole thing even more uncomfortable for everyone, no doubt. Especially the lobsters.

In any case, police allege that the woman was planning on trading the tails for either some Chinese food or prescription pills.

That plan is not going to happen now, as the suspect was arrested and charged with theft from a merchant.

Don’t believe this is some kind of weird seafood shoplifting trend? It’s got to be — there’s this instance, this time also involved seafood and then there’s this very unfortunate incident.

Woman stuffed Publix lobster tails down her pants, police say [Orlando Sentinel]

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  1. Pacer says:

    I guess it’s time for a joke about fish smells in pants and… no, I can’t do it. I really can’t. Really.

  2. C0Y0TY says:

    Maybe she thought it said Pubic lobsters.

    Publix is probably relieved she didn’t try to steal crabs.

  3. AlaskanPixie says:

    I used to work for Safeway (well I still do, just not in a store) and it’s incredible how much people are willing to shove down their pants. Movies, meat and seafood, produce. Whole grocery lists. There were a few times the guy could barely walk out