In the release titled “T-Mobile and Americans Everywhere Celebrating As AT&T Dismantles Death Star, Joins Un-carrier Revolution,” the smaller, pink-loving wireless carrier mocks AT&T’s decisions to follow its lead on things like lower monthly rates for subscribers who own their phones and offers to pay subscribers to switch providers.
“T-Mobile US, Inc. today announced that pretty much everyone at the company is overcome with emotion and still kind of processing the decision by now-ex-rival AT&T to leave the dark side, step into the light, and join hands in supporting the Un-carrier consumer revolution,” reads the release, which includes the completely fake (repeat: it’s not real) quote attributed to Ralph de la Vega, president and CEO of AT&T Mobility:
“Call it an awakening, but I felt it was time to really stir things up and put the customer first for a change. And by ‘customer’ I’m referring to our former customers who switch to T-Mobile, because our current customers don’t really qualify.”
In another direct stab at AT&T’s Death Star logo and its Empire-like reputation, Legere quips, “It’s kind of like that scene where Darth Vader’s lying there and Luke helps take off his helmet, and you see that, okay, sure, Darth Vader’s pretty ugly, but he’s human after all.”
Whatever you think of T-Mobile and its service (and opinions do vary, depending who you ask), this kind of tongue-in-cheek trash-talking is a reminder that the smaller company still plays a vital role in keeping what little competition remains in the wireless market.
That’s why we worry about reports of an impending deal between Sprint and T-Mobile to combine the two companies. Yes, a merged T-Mobile and Sprint might be more competitive against the titans of AT&T and Verizon, but at what cost to consumers? If the combined entity continued with T-Mobile’s current establishment-shaking attempts, that may be okay. But the odds are that we’d just end up with a larger Sprint, which hasn’t really done much in recent years except try to squeeze the word “Framily” down our throats.