Top Posts Of The Week(s) And Open Thread

TSA Flags Man With World’s Largest Penis For Additional Crotch Screening
Disabled Vet Says United Employees Kicked His Service Dog, Asked Him If He Was Retarded
No, Best Buy Employee, I Won’t Come To Your House To Get My Stolen Racy Photos Back
Who The &^#* Does This Restaurant Customer Think He Is?
Homeowner Pulls Gun To Stop New Electric Meter From Being Installed

We’re back! These are the most popular posts from the last few weeks of Open Thread hiatus. Were you sad that you didn’t get to comment on them? Here is your chance! There was a post about tipping, after all.

To commemorate the occasion, here’s the happiest cat photo we have. So happy that this cat’s name actually is Happy.


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  1. McRib wants to know if you've been saved by the Holy Clown says:


  2. Mr. Fix-It is trapped in a collection of half-working appliances says:


    Bueller? Bueller?

  3. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    yay, commenting!
    for those who have been following the raccoon saga, there may be an ending, or at least a hiatus, depending on how smart/determined the raccoon is.
    the rescue was having a spay/neuter day today and i was hoping to catch one of the two feral tomcats that sneak into my house. i figured i’d probably catch the raccoon first. unfortunately he foiled my plans by not showing up between 11-1 [so i could have gotten him gone and set it back out for a cat] but between 4 and 6.
    when i checked the trap at 6 he was there
    not a tomcat

    unfortunately it’s against the law to relocate a raccoon here and the state said i couldn’t have a permit to exterminate him, i have to wait until november when it’s fur season.
    but if i HAD taken a raccoon for a ride down the road, i would have let him loose in the woods behind a cemetary, between two churches, a firehouse and tobacco farm. where he’d be hypothetically less likely to break into private homes due to having dumpsters around and no food crops to ruin. you know, had it been legal to do so.

    got a 2.5 day weekend due to a spectacular office failure today. snow day in july. no servers, no phones, no connectivity. went down last night and they still didn’t have it up by noon so we closed. yay!

    • You Can Call Me Al(isa) says:

      o/ early weekend!

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      raccoon video is ready

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        whiiiich i totally meant to link to so you can see it too

        • Cranky Owl says:

          I LOL’d at the accusing look he gives the camera halfway through. Y u do this to me? I thought we were friends??!

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      For the life of me I can’t understand why your local government won’t allow relocating a raccoon somewhere else! It makes absolutely no sense.

      Last night I went out to check on Blackcat before I went to bed, and a big possum was sitting at his spot next to the food dish. I chased it away. If it becomes too much of a nuisance, it will be live trapped and get to take a ride out over the mountain to the state forest lands!

    • Not Given says:

      My husband trapped 6 feral kittens the other day. The farmer would have taken more but the rest all disappeared the next day. I think it was a lot more fun for him than the 16 skunks he trapped and relocated a while back.

    • NephriteStars says:

      I understand you need to drive them 50 miles out, so they can’t find their way back!

  4. Cranky Owl says:

    I’ve tried planting kittehs, but it never worked. Maybe I overwatered them.

  5. Cranky Owl says:

    What happened to my avatar & how come everybody else seems to have one?!?

    • McRib wants to know if you've been saved by the Holy Clown says:

      I thought that line thingy was your avatar! Some kind of avant garde statement

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      mine came back automatically but i already used the same one on other wordpress sites. do you ever log in on other wordpress sites?

      • Cranky Owl says:

        Nope, I don’t go to any other wordpress sites. You can’t edit your profile yet, maybe when that comes back so will my owly avatar.

    • RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

      I’m seeing several people with just that line as an avatar. I thought it might just be my PC.

    • Bladerunner says:

      Let’s see if mine still exists…

      • Bladerunner says:

        That’s weird, apparently mine isn’t a broken link but has been sent back to default.

  6. Tegan says:

    I’m very glad commenting is back :)

    I almost got fired during the hiatus – that was not so exciting. I got lazy about documenting my work during the second week of June or so, and apparently our manager is on a big increase productivity kick. Now, I was actually still doing work, but we have this really mundane system in which we’re supposed to track every single thing we do ever, and I got lazy about the tracking part for about a week. Which apparently merited a conference call with my manager and HR rep, granularly looking at every single thing I’ve done for the last three months and asking for justifications. When I got off the phone I was almost certain I wouldn’t have a job by the end of the week, but it turned out not to be so bad after all. I just got a “verbal warning” from my manager yesterday about increasing productivity, etc. I need to get off my ass and finish my MCTS so I can have a slightly better shot at finding a job elsewhere, because this place is getting pretty ridiculous.

    On a much more exciting note, wedding save-the-dates and invitations get here tomorrow!!! Also we’re going to pick out tuxes tomorrow. Also also, we’re slow, but the fiance and I finally finished D3 on normal this week. With the refilling of the whiskey supply, hopefully there’ll be more fun times on the next level this weekend.

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      glad you got to keep your job. close call!

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      Um, yeah, about those TPS reports…

      Seriously, sorry to hear that! My corporate overlords are overly concerned with whether data is in a field, but not so much about what it says or means. I got lazy too this summer, and filled required fields with fake dates and other nonsense, and sadly, no one has noticed.

  7. blogger X says:

    Yay, after my tenth attempt at changing my password, it went through :-)

    I am accepting preorders for “I Survived the Consumerist Blackout ’12” t-shirts.

    • Tegan says:

      It took me about 5-6 tries this morning, I even went and ventured into my spam folder to make sure I wasn’t missing something. That was quite an adventure, I seem to get an inordinate amount of spam advertising for Jewish singles, especially considering that I am neither Jewish nor single.

      • blogger X says:

        Lol I get payday loans, male enhancement stuff, and cheap auto insurance and warranty stuff. The majority of them are sent 15-20 years from the future.

        • SecretShopper: pours out a lil' liquor for the homies Wasp & Otter says:

          Lol, recently in my throwaway email I’ve gotten ads for stitch mark cream, menopause vitamins & dress barn, spam bots apparently think I’m an old woman despite being a young(ish) man

  8. RadarOReally has got the Post-Vacation Blues says:

    The story about the woman who brought out a gun to stop the man installing her electric meter got to me. I fear we’re becoming a society where grabbing a gun is the first option, rather than the last resort. Surely she could have called the police to stop the installer, although I think she’ll find that there’s a Right of Way that the electric company owns, and if I were the electric company, I would tell her that I would be happy to remove all of my equipment from her home and let her go without power.

    I’ve been trying to read up on the Smart Meters, but beyond amounts of usage at any given point, I don’t see how they’re “spying” on you. The phone company already can tell what you’re doing with their service, and when. How is this different?

    • Bladerunner says:

      The power company has the right to do what is necessary, not whatever they want whenever they want. This doesn’t mean that they have no ability to ever install the smart meters, but that they have channels to go through if someone objects.

      And many places where the police have a backlog, they wouldn’t have shown up at all; so you think the homeowner should just roll over and take it?

      While the gun should be a last resort, if the installer is trying to push past you, it’s perfectly appropriate to say “I told you to stop. Now stop, this is my land and we will be discussing this, you aren’t the boss of me.”

    • Not Given says:

      My husband and his coworkers are now installing those whenever they have to go to someone’s house. He said they no longer make the other kind and most of the old ones are now inaccurate and need to be replaced. The only complaints I’ve heard about them here is that the bill goes up because all the electricity use is getting measured, now.
      He saw that video about the woman and said he would have cut her power at the pole, although I don’t know if he could have done that with her being paid up. That’s probably why the company said they would look into legal means.
      I don’t really think they can tell what equipment you are running from the data but he is telling people he’ll be able to give them a readout of what days and what times of day they are using more power, if they’ve complained about the size of their bill.
      He also said police cannot get access to the data without a warrant, which seemed to be one of the concerns. He said they’re going all homeland security and locking down the data and control access. They just put in security cameras a few months ago and already caught a thief, too.

  9. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Yay commenting is back!

    Lots to share, so I will be brief. All soapmaking items in place except pH test strips. I guess I have to bite the bullet and order them online. I just bristle at paying $6-$8 for shipping and handling for something so small that weighs a few ounces.

    I’ve been using my Ninja blender for the last 3 weeks to make smoothies, iced fruit drinks, and protein drinks (to replace breakfast). So far, I’ve lost about 10 pounds! I’ve also cut out potato chips, and started measuring food instead of just piling it on my plate.

    I still have Comcast, and discovered I have selective call forwarding. This means the scammer people who call more than once get the “treatment”. I add their number to selective call forwarding, and send it to another scammer phone number. My favorite target is something called “Turtle Creek”. Now when they call me, they either get themselves, or they get calls from other people like “Rachel” who don’t get the hint. I feel such joy at this discovery.

    I finished The Hunger Games book, and a coworker lent me the next two…NO SPOILERS PLEASE :)

    Hope everyone is doing well. It’s been hot here, but only in the mid 90’s, so I can’t complain.


    • SecretShopper: pours out a lil' liquor for the homies Wasp & Otter says:

      Aww cool that the homemade soap has progressed, that selective C/F sounds awesome I’ll check and see if AT&T has it for when my “auto warranty” scanner calls

    • blogger X says:

      Awesome weight loss! I need to see a dietian, I can’t lose weight to save my life :-( I have been working out, I guess I need to start measuring my food too.

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        Thank you! I’ve been a big person all my life, even as a child, so even a few pounds is a huge deal to me.

        You will be shocked at what a serving is! Cereal isn’t even worth it. I gave up potato chips entirely because I cannot eat just 10 potato chips. I am a sad, weak person, I guess, and I’d have to have a will of iron to eat 10 chips and put the bag back. Half the bag? Easy!

        My new best friends are my Ninja, stainless steel measuring cups, and frozen fruit.

    • Not Given says:

      Too bad the scammers are spoofing their CID, the number could easily belong to an innocent.

      I’ve taken to making complaints at both and (FTC) and also reporting it at I just started keeping a log with whatever info I can gather, too.

      FCC or FTC, they won’t do anything unless there are a lot of complaints.

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        Oh crap, so in my joy I might be annoying someone else like me? Ugh. I hate spoofed caller ID and I hate the fact that Rachel and her minions can call me multiple times per day. I used to report the numbers on those websites, and I refer to 800notes almost every day, but even though the numbers get reported, the same morons keep calling.

        OOO – maybe I could forward all their calls to the FCC? I’m sure they have a phone number. Or not…just thought maybe that would piss them off.

        I just want them to go away.

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      my thing this summer with my blender is frozen strawberries and tang. go strong on the tang and it comes out almost like a strawberry orange julius

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        OMG that sounds good! I love Tang! I’ve been blending 1/2 cup frozen mango with 1/2 cup lite OJ + 2 tbl milk, and then blending in 4 or 5 ice cubes. Love it!

        • HogwartsProfessor says:

          That sounds good. I need to use my blender again. I got some big fat straws to use with smoothies in case they don’t come out so smooth.

  10. Rexy does not like the new system says:

    Awesome that commenting is back, but I was really hoping that Consumerist would go back to the “old” (and better) format.

    • blogger X says:

      Well, this new format doesn’t have you waiting hours after you hit the submit button, and this format allows you to see all comments. I would LOVE a notification system, like the old Gawker’s system.

      • Rexy does not like the new system says:

        Actually, it’s a lot slower for me and quite a few others to post comments now. Before, you could also have comments collapsed in threads, which made replies much more readable or expand them all.

        I am heavily against change that is not needed or beneficial. This change was two giant steps backwards.

  11. Not Given says:

    I wonder if page views were down without comments?

    • MaxH42 needs an edit button says:

      Probably, but an even more important measure IMO is average time on page or total session time, which I’m sure dropped like a rock. I know I spent seconds instead of minutes on each page while commenting was down.

  12. The Upright Man mk2 says:

    Yaaaay, we’re back. Hi all!

  13. HogwartsProfessor says:


    Still no job. Went to Vocational Rehabilitation because of a math LD (that’s keeping me from applying to jobs that want accounting, which is most of them). Got sent to a job developer who asked if I wanted to work in a call center. I’m thinking I need to go back in there and demand they retrain me.

    I’m getting a newer car. My parents bought it for me, to help give me a leg up. The old one is nickel and dime-ing me to death, and needs tie rods and wheel bearings now. I’m giving it to my cousin and her husband, who have way more resources to fix it themselves than I do. Other than having just had the starter replaced, it runs pretty well. The new car is a 2007 Chevy Cobalt. I have to take a 3-4 hour drive with my dad tomorrow to go get it. *GROAN* I think I’ll take my computer and watch a movie on the way.

    Because of the breakup, I really do not give a flying shit about the car. The whole reason I was begging the universe for a better one was because I was hoping I might leave here. Now that is gone. :'(

    Just saw The Dark Knight Rises earlier today. I was disappointed.

    I hope you all will have a better weekend than I will.

    • HogwartsProfessor says:

      OH Meant to post this: It’s not a scam. Hans Zimmer, who composed all three Batman scores, made this piece for the Aurora theater shooting victims and you can download it for a nominal donation. 100% of the money is going to the Victims Fund. It contains the Batman theme and is a very moving and fitting requiem.

    • Rexy does not like the new system says:

      Best of luck to you for a job. I’ve been looking for one myself for a while now.

      Have you gotten any interviews?

      • HogwartsProfessor says:

        Yes, but only one offer, and I had to turn it down because the pay wasn’t enough to live on. It really hurt to do that because it was a county job. But there are no chances for a raise for a long time, and there was a mandatory retirement deduction out of every check, which would have killed me.

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      whether you care about the new car or not right now, not having to constantly deal with repairs should remove some of the roller coaster of emotional strain and stress from your life. i hope it perks you up

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      I second catastrophegirl’s comment. Anything that will help you is a good thing.

  14. NephriteStars says:

    I missed reading all this! Thanks for bringing it back!

  15. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Oh, and one more thing. I was pinched by a male Dobsonfly today, in the parking lot at work. I guess I shouldn’t have picked it up and pointed at it with my other hand.

  16. Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

    Hurray! We can post again! Thank you, Consumerist, for finally realizing that an old version of the WordPress API = big time problems. Glad you sorted that out. But would it have hurt to put in a post-edit button??