Who The &^#* Does This Restaurant Customer Think He Is?

There are many ways to encourage, or even demand, quality service while out for a nice meal. Telling your waiter in advance that you’re going to be a dick about the tip is most certainly not a good method for doing so.

Over at ServerNotServant.com, there’s the tale of a diner who thought it would be a good idea to start out the night by pulling out 20 singles, placing them on the table and telling the waiter, “[let’s] play a little game… I’ll take one away (from your tip) every time something goes wrong.”

“Where the hell do these people come from?” asks ServerNotServant’s Patrick Maguire. “Demeaning fellow human beings is never funny or cute. You don’t play games with hard-working people who are just trying to make a living.”

We couldn’t agree more. Behavior like this is how you end up with phlegm in your food. It can also have a negative effect on other customers as that waiter does his best to quell the desire to pummel you.

It’s time like this that we really miss our commenters…

If you feel compelled, you can still go over to Patrick’s site to say your piece.


Edit Your Comment

  1. I look at both sides of the story says:
    • swoodrow79 says:

      Because jobs are easy to get now, right? Doesn’t change the fact the customer in this article acted like an entitled jerk. Some how I don’t think that he is any different during the rest of his day either.

    • Evil_Otto would rather pay taxes than make someone else rich says:

      And while they’re looking for other work, it’s ok to treat them like subhumans?

      Actually scratch that:

      It’s ok to treat them like subhumans?

    • semidazed says:

      Congrats- you have a dictionary. Might I suggest a tome on social etiquette and a guide to basic human behavior while you’re reading?

    • isfeasachme says:

      Being a d!ck is not the same as seeing both sides of a story. Colloquially, server = someone who takes your order and serves your food at a restaurant. Servant = slave. Arguing semantics is insulting and distracting because we both know that you aren’t confused by this.

      • I look at both sides of the story says:

        “Servant = slave”

        I didn’t realize that public servants were slaves.

  2. Difdi says:

    Proper response:

    Well sir, I can tell you right now I won’t be seeing any of that $20, because I’m kicking you out. Please don’t come back.

    • dks64 says:

      I don’t know any restaurant where the server can kick out a guest. Sadly, often the manager will side with the guest even when they are being dicks. If more managers didn’t, I think the employees would benefit greatly.

  3. Zeal says:

    This was a “skit” straight out of 3rd rock from the sun. I’m pretty sure it worked just as well on the show.

    • Broke_Daddy says:

      Exactly what I was going to say. While it was funny on the show, not so much in real life.

      • SavijMuhdrox says:

        except when you find out the ‘customer’ really was an un-recognized John Lithgow.. sigh.. it then becomes even funnier.. and sad..

  4. lexpost says:

    I think it’s disgraceful that an employer gets to pay their employees dirt and expects their customers to take over the payroll. In a lot of restaurants the servers don’t even get to keep the tips they earn because they end up tipping out the bussers, hosts (or hostess), etc. At a minimum they should get paid minimum wage.
    I can’t tell you how many times in the last few years I have heard the well heeled complain because they think poor people feel entitled for the scraps society offers them and then a story like this comes along. It’s too bad that heels like this can’t see themselves.

  5. HighInterest says:

    This is getting ridiculous. We are getting to the point where customers are treated like an aggravation and we are supposed to ‘make it rain’ with tips to apologize for us interrupting their chit chat with our presence. The term is waiter- you are suppose to attend to our needs. That is the basis of the job.

    Almost everywhere has a tip jar out of counter service- including places that are owner run. They ought to be embarrassed. If you are offering me a service- like Moes or Jersey Mikes where you can improve what I am ordering- then you can get tipped. But taking a slice of pizza out of a display case and putting it on a paper plate is not a tipable offense. Starbucks has a tip jar out in the drive through line for heavens sake.

    Here is my social contract- bring out any appetizers before the entree, make sure anything that was on the side or omitted stays that way, and dont let the drinks get below 1/4 full without a refill. Oh and 10% of the time I might ask help in choosing between a couple of dishes so know something about your menu and have an opinion. In return I will tip at least 20%, most likely 25.

    Ways that dont work in getting tipped- trying to force a personal relationship the first time we meet, interjecting your small talk into my party’s small talk. Impressing me with your memory by not writing anything down and getting it 90% correct. And if you sense 0 interest in the specials, give us the abbreviated version instead of interrupting us for 6 minutes.

    Yes, I have no idea of the horrible customers you have to put up with. But you have no idea he number of times my son’s club sandwich shows up with mayo, which he wont eat.

    The problem is the waiter has no clear idea of what kind of customer I am going to be, what I value and what I dont, and how much I am willing to tip when I walk in the door. Yeah, the article guy’s attitude is off by “playing a little game” and stacking up singles like they are a princely currency. But maybe it is a step in the right direction if he makes his expectations and the payoff clear up front. Maybe he has had too many “medium rare” stakes come out “medium well” and is ready to scream. Apparently servernotservant.com couldnt be bothered to find out.

  6. Thomas says:

    Had a friend of mine do something like this….Here’s how he did it:

    Once the server approached the table, he took out give $1 bills and put them on the table. Then he would explain his “tipping method” to the server. Everytime they did something right, such a refill the drinks before they are empty — he’ll add another dollar. Everytime something goes wrong, he takes a dollar away.

    Ironically, both times I saw him do this it ended up working out great for the server, with a tip of about 30% in the end.

    Still, I don’t think I like this, seems a little cruel — but, does his way off adding for good, removing for bad make it any better?

  7. AntJenkins says:

    I can’t believe that no one has noticed that this is EXACTLY what Dick did on Third Rock From The Sun (season 5 episode 7 “Sex and the Sally”).

    Youtube evidence: