Cops: Man Attacked His Stepdaughter Using McDonald’s French Fries As The Weapon

Throwing things is not nice and you shouldn’t do it, no matter what it is you’re throwing. In this case, a man is facing a felony assault with a dangerous weapon charge for hurling hot McDonald’s french fries at his stepdaughter during an argument.

The Smoking Gun says the Massachusetts man and his wife were fighting about money after her 11-year-old daughter picked up food at the drive-thru of a McDonald’s. According to cops, as the two argued, the girl “began to interject into the argument in an attempt to get the two to stop fighting.”

That upset the man, apparently, who then “picked up the container of French fries he had just purchased, which were hot and oily, and threw it at [the girl], striking her in the face and chest area.”

She wasn’t hurt, but cops noted that “the heat of the oil could cause burning to skin and eyes.”

The man was arrested after his wife called the police to report the incident, and was told while being cuffed that “he was being charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon to wit french fry.”

He’s free on bail and appeared in court to plead not guilty to the assault and battery count, and was ordered not to have contact with his stepdaughter.

Man Busted For French Fry Attack On Stepdaughter [The Smoking Gun]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Coffee says:

    First a chicken sandwich, now fries…all we need now is a thrown soda and I’ll be able to check “Extra Value Meal” off on my Consumerist bingo card.

    • Blueskylaw says:

      What the frickety frack; again with the first post. If it wasn’t for your
      superior spelling and commenting skills, I would be seriously perturbed.

      • Coffee says:

        My secret: I kidnapped a South Korean Starcraft champion and make him type on my behalf. Before my thought it even finished, it’s submitted.


        • Coffee says:

          Hah hah hah! Never mind that last post. I caught the typo and accidental plea for help and everything is completely under control. Nothing to see here.

  2. Blueskylaw says:

    I read this same story on Snopes and they proved it was a hoax
    because, as we all know, McDonalds french fries are never hot.

    • Krazycalvin says:

      I swear… I would take hot McDonalds fries to the face anytime if it meant that I got hot McDonalds fries.

    • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

      Next time, order it with no salt. Then they have to fry up a new batch of them.

      Personally though, seems every time I find myself in a MickeyD’s (which is not very often, I may add) and order something, I’m always waiting for the fries. Seems they just don’t keep frying them in big batches anymore. Which is a good thing–means the fries are in fact actually hot! Mickey D’s fries are better than any fast food chains’–with the exception on New York Fries, but alas their locations are few and far between, unless you live in mall food courts.)

      • raydee o'bugg says:

        I would like to order their fries without salt, but I think I’d just end up with an oily carboard frysleeve.

        Their fries are not made with potato, but with long NaCl crystals.

  3. blogger X says:

    French fries are a dangerous weapon o_O

    • Warren - the Original Chocolate Cake with Eyes! says:

      You ever been pelted with fries right out of the cooker? Fu*king things hurt!

      • blogger X says:

        Now, I have heard of hot grits and fish grease as potent weapons. These things are good to know!

    • enomosiki says:

      Any object that is made for benign purposes that is used with intention of causing injury to another person can be considered as a dangerous weapon.

      If you attack somebody with something as harmless as a paperback book, that book will be considered as a dangerous weapon in the eyes of the LEO and the court.

  4. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Maybe we should introduce this guy to the woman in the previous post. Both enjoy throwing McDonald’s food items. It seems like a good fit!

  5. Vox Republica says:

    You are hereby charged: one, that you did, on or about 11/26, conspire to publicize a London borough in the course of a BBC saga; two, that you were willfully and persistently a foreigner; three, that you conspired to do things not normally considered illegal; four, that you were caught in possession of an offensive weapon, viz, the big brown table down at the police station.

  6. There's room to move as a fry cook says:


    McDonalds fries are not hot enough that “the heat of the oil could cause burning to skin and eyes.”

    The arresting officer really wrote “to wit”?

  7. gman863 says:


  8. Coffee says:

    The Smoking Gun says the Massachusetts man and his wife were fighting about money after her 11-year-old daughter picked up food at the drive-thru of a McDonald’s.

    Honestly, I’m trying to be sympathetic to this guy, but wasting food when you’re arguing about money kind of undermines your position. Were I in his position, I would probably pick up the fries and eat them all as fast as I could to make my point: that I’m cranky when I’m hungry.

  9. Bodger says:

    Hot fries at McD? Clearly a fabrication…

  10. DemosCat says:

    You mean for once the fries were actually hot, and he THREW them?!?!?

    Okay, so how hot were the fries anyway, if she wasn’t hurt?

    What’s next? Arrest a guy who shoots someone with a water pistol, because hey, that water pistol MIGHT have included a toxin, or acid?

    Sounds like the cops can now park nearby their favorite fast-food joint, and arrest everyone picking up food in the drive-thru for possession of a dangerous weapon, to wit french fries.

    “You got a permit for that?”

  11. Warren - the Original Chocolate Cake with Eyes! says:

    I shall throw no fries before their time.

  12. Feral Ginger says:

    So, the eleven year old was going through the drive through?

  13. DemosCat says:

    The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

    Tuesday, February 12. It was cold in Los Angeles. We were working the day watch. My partner’s Ben Romero. My name’s Friday.

    9:35 We received a call complaining about an establishment handing out dangerous weapons on the cheap to all comers; even selling to minors. We went to investigate.

    “All we want are the facts, ma’am”

    “You have to understand, I’m only telling you this as a concerned citizen. But I find it upsetting any business would sell dangerous items to children!”

    “And what would that be, ma’am?”

    “French fries.”

    “French fries?”

    “Hot and oily french fries!”

    “Thank you ma’ma. We’ll get right on it.”

    10:32 We drove to the fast-food joint to investigate. We were appalled at what we found. The place was hopping with customers, all purchasing potentially dangerous weapons.

    “Call for backup, Ben”

    “You got it, Joe.”

    10:55 We had the joint surrounded by uniform police, and shut the place down. Another day defending the public in Los Angeles.

    The owner, John Stanton, was tried in Department 187 of the Superior Court of the State of California, in and for the City and County of Los Angeles, and remanded to the State Penitentiary, San Quentin California.

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      Have you been watching Dragnet on Netflix? :)

      • DemosCat says:

        No need for Netflix. Dragnet lives on a retro TV station in my area. Sadly, I’m old enough to remember when it was broadcast in the late 1960’s, along with its spinoff, Adam 12.

        Next up: The Deadly Dozen Doughnuts. D’oh!

        • Garry Bentwick says:

          I always liked when the 2 shows overlapped. Like when they thought the younger Adam 12 guy (can’t remember his name) was guilty of armed robbery. Or when the Adam 12 guys would show up on Emergency 51.

      • Shadowman615 says:

        Was on Nick at Nite back during my early teens.

  14. MaytagRepairman says:

    I don’t know what it is but I can’t handle eating their fries any more. If I do my guts knot up into a ball 2-3 hours later. I blame whatever chemicals they use to coat them. So in my book, just feeding a child McDonalds’ fries is an attack.

  15. krom says:

    That’s one thing about Massachusetts laws/cops that bugs the heck out of me. Literally literally ANY THING qualifies as “a dangerous weapon”. One time I saw a police blotter entry for someone arrested for “assault with a dangerous weapon – a shod foot.” Really?

    I should be surprised at the notion that a french fry is a dangerous weapon, but I’m sadly not.

    • Phildogger says:

      I see that all the time in the police blotter. Massachusetts cops are unreal. Where do they all learn that “Cop accent”? The one where they put R at the end of every word that ends with a vowel?

  16. smo0 says:

    Is today McDonald’s day?

  17. dush says:

    “Yes officer, I assalted her fries.”

  18. dullard says:

    In California a deadly weapon is defined as any object, instrument, or weapon that is capable of producing and likely to produce death or great bodily injury. Although a deadly weapon is broadly defined, it would seem that the french fries, as used in this case, could hardly be considered to fall within the definition

  19. 2 Replies says:

    Seriously, as ridiculous as it sounds to be arrested for assault with french fries, the propensity towards such violence is probably not a good sign for their relationship. :-/

  20. CrazyEyed says:

    And all these years I’ve been assaulting my stomach. *Shakes in corner of room*

  21. skrolnik says:

    Someone’s been watching too many Foamy the Angry Squirrel flash videos.

  22. Delicious Spam is delicious says:

    McDonalds Trifecta in play

  23. Colt Cooper says:

    For it to be a dangerous weapon, it would have to be RIGHT out of the grease fryer, I mean boiling oil and all. Visual reference complements of a Canadian PSA:

  24. GrandizerGo says:

    She wasn’t hurt, but cops noted that “the heat of the oil could cause burning to skin and eyes.”

    Could have? I doubt that, else EVERYONE would have sued McDonald’s for burns to their mouths from eating fries that quickly.

  25. Kabusted says:

    What?!? Nobody else said it before me. I feel morally obligated…

    Fry Him!!

  26. Difdi says:

    If french fries are considered a dangerous weapon, then there is, literally, no object (even Nerf) that is considered a non-dangerous weapon. Because I can’t think of anything less likely to cause injury than a french fry.

  27. do-it-myself says:

    I didn’t realize they serve fries hotter than their coffee. Did the employee sue….herself?