Years ago, in a time so foreign and distant that many of us can barely remember it, Sears was the place to go if you wanted to buy a quality appliance. That’s not the case anymore. Evidently now it’s the place to go if you want to buy a non-operational appliance and take a bunch of unnecessary days off work. Tomorrow morning, Jesse will be waiting for a technician to come by and (most likely) not get his new dishwasher to work. The second, replacement dishwasher that Sears brought after the first one didn’t work either.

When my old dishwasher died, I did my research online. The best reviewed model that had the features I wanted was a Kenmore Model #13909, available at Sears. I purchased it at a Sears Home Appliance Showroom on Tuesday, 5/8, no problem. I arranged for it to be delivered and installed that Saturday, 5/12.

This would prove to be a terrible, terrible mistake.

Repair people show up on time on Saturday. One problem: they can’t get the dishwasher to work. It turns on, but no water comes in. They confirm that the water flow from my pipes is fine, but the dishwasher appears to be DoA.

I’m annoyed, but hey, it happens. I call up Sears Delivery (spending a half hour on hold) and arrange for a replacement to be delivered the following Tuesday, 5/15. I take a half day off from work to be home for the 4-hour (!!!) delivery window. The delivery people show up on time.

Without a replacement dishwasher. They sent the delivery guy out without it. Instead, they sent the guy who failed to install it the first time to try and fix it. Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t.

I call up again. They’re very apologetic, say they have no idea how things got screwed up, but that they’ll get a replacement to the warehouse by Thursday, 5/17, and someone will call me that night between 7 and 9 PM to set up a delivery appointment. I ask for compensation for my inconvenience; the woman tries to convince me that replacing their defective product qualifies as compensation. I am dubious, and come very close to breaking my personal vow against yelling at customer service people. Eventually, they offer a $20 gift card. Fine.

By 9:30 PM on Thursday, having not gotten a call, I call up again. They have no record of a request being processed for a replacement. The woman on the phone is so confused, she has to call in a colleague and leave me on hold for twenty minutes just to unravel how screwed up my account is. Finally, she apologizes profusely, explains she has no idea what the previous person was doing, and promises me a call the next day (Friday, 5/18) from an offline manager to straighten things out and get me a delivery appointment.

Shockingly, nobody calls me. I call back that evening. Again, I’m put on hold for twenty minutes while the customer service rep tries to figure things out. Again, I’m told they have no record of a request being processed for a replacement. Again, the apologizes profusely, explains she has no idea what the previous person was doing, and promises me a call the next day (Saturday, 5/19) to set up an appointment by early afternoon.

Predictably, the call never comes. I call up, and lo and behold, this last person did things right, and I have a delivery appointment for today (Monday, 5/21) between 2 and 6. This means I have to take another half-day off from work, but fine. I get the number for the delivery company and confirm that they’re actually going to be bringing a dishwasher this time.

Monday rolls around, and indeed, the installers come (same guy as the first two times. A bad omen.) He brought a dishwasher; we’re making progress!

And he can’t get it to work. Again, he confirms that the water flow from our pipes is fine.

So back on the phone with Sears Delivery! They stick me on hold for another twenty minutes, and I’m put on with an escalation manager. I ask for a technician to come out that day. She refuses. I ask for my delivery and installation charges (~$150) to be refunded, as compensation for the two half-days I had to take off from work, the general inconvenience, and their complete failure to deliver and install a working dishwasher. She refuses. They offer another gift card. The prospect of acquiring more Sears merchandise does not excite me at this point.

So I have a fourth appointment on Wednesday morning (5/23) for a technician to come and take a look. How will they manage to leave me without a working dishwasher this time? The world wonders.

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.