Comcast Is Very Concerned About Your Cocker Spaniels

David is a little confused. First, because received a Comcast bill for two months of service, even though he already submitted a payment. Second, because some denizen of Kabletown has started turning ordinary customer service e-mails in to Mad Libs. Or spell check has gone horribly awry. Or…actually, we’re not quite sure what’s going on here.

David sent a terse e-mail about his billing problem that did not include any references to dogs. Here are the first two paragraphs of Comcast’s reply.

Dear David,

Thank you for contacting Comcast Email Support. My name is [redacted] and I appreciate the time you took to contact us about your billing inquiry.

I understand that you made a payment online with the amount of $170.62, and you just received a bill statement for two(2) months including March. Also you are asking what happen to the payment. I know that it is important for you to determine if the payment you made online has been process for you to be bill accurately. I will be more than happy to provide you the information for you to verify what happen to the payment that you had made. Rest assured that this email will bring your cockers to a resolution.

The e-mail continues in clearly-not-proofread fashion, but with no further random animal name insertions.

If anyone out there has any ideas about where the word “cockers” came from in this message, we–and David–are all ears. Long, floppy, curly-haired ears.