Legislator Calls For Ban On Imaginary Practice Of Using Aborted Fetuses In Food Products

Because the lawmakers of this nation don’t have real-world issues that need to be resolved, a state senator in Oklahoma has introduced legislation that would finally put a stop to the abominable, completely nonexistent practice of using tissue from aborted fetuses in food.

Senator Ralph Shortey from Oklahoma City claims that his independent research on the Internet convinced him to call for the ban in an attempt to raise “public awareness” and give an “ultimatum to companies” that might someday think about putting fetuses in your cookies and potato chips.

An FDA rep tells the Associate Press that “FDA is not aware of this particular concern,” and even the executive director of Oklahomans for Life tells the AP, “I don’t know anything about that.”

For some reason, not every member of the Oklahoma state legislature thinks it should spend its time banning fictional practices.

“We’ve got too many challenges facing Oklahomans today. We don’t need to go looking for possible challenges that may come about sometime in the future,” said Sen. Brian Crain, chairman of the Senate Human Services Committee. “If it can be demonstrated that this is a challenge facing our food supply, then I think we need to act quickly, but there’s been no demonstration that this is going on… I’d hate to think we’re going to spend our time coming up with possibilities of things we need to stop.”

Next up on the agenda, what to do with the state’s surplus of canned unicorn meat.

Okla. senator wants ban on human fetuses in food [Chron.com]