Groupon is hoping you’ll stare deep into the wet brown eyes of its new deal wheel, Clicky, the Clickable Value-Wheel. And as your reward for gazing upon Clicky’s sad mouth, Groupon will let you buy a deal they featured in the past for a discount.

So you don’t really win anything, if you define winning as getting something for free. The Chicago Tribune says users are prompted by Clicky to sign in through Facebook, and then spin the wheel to nab discounts of $5, $10, $50 or $100.

Once you lock your amount in, you must redeem it within 24 hours, and you can only spin once a day — although if you “Like” Clicky on Facebook, you get five extra spins. Wonder what happens if you get “in a relationship” with Clicky?

Not surprisingly, Groupon is going to be the real winner here. According to the Tribune, your chances of winning $100 is one in 100,000; $50 is 1 in 10,000; $10 is 1 in 100; $5 is 1 in 20.

“We want to let users know that the chances of winning are slim, but not impossible,” says a post on the Groupon blog. “As with many online computer games, the win ratio was determined to ensure that the lifetime value of the new customers attracted to Groupon by Clicky, the Clickable Value-Wheel will be greater than the total cost of the program, thus making the program a practical and sustainable investment for Groupon.”

This might be funny if it were a Conan O’Brien talking mouth bit, but alas, as is, it’s just weird.

Groupon launches Clicky, the Clickable Value-Wheel [Chicago Tribune

Clicky, The Clickable Value-Wheel [Groupon blog]

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