Sears Has Your Toaster In Maine. You Live In Alaska.

In hindsight, Marla would have been better off ordering a toaster and a toaster oven from anywhere except Sears. But she didn’t know that the company has entered the next phase of its existence as a massive anti-capitalist prank, and has now added an absurdist theater aspect to the project. At least, that’s the only explanation for some of the conversations Marla had when her toaster didn’t show up. First, they refused to understand that the toaster wasn’t in the box at all. Then, she received a call to come pick up her floor-model toaster at a store in Maine. Marla lives in Alaska.

At Christmas I ordered a toaster oven and a for slot toaster from Sears. I received the oven. The packing slip said that the toaster was in the box also. Thinking this would be an easy fix since obviously some mistake had been made, I contacted Sears.

They told me that the toaster was included in the package. I told them that it was not. They had me complete a questionnaire about whether or not the box was torn, ripped, etc. It wasn’t. They said that they would assign the problem to someone to research.

In the meantime, I still needed the toaster. I placed another order online. It gets bizarre here. I got a call from a store in [Maine]. The phone message included a woman’s name, she mentions the toaster, and says “we need to know if you want this.”. No phone number. Luckily they had called my cell, so the number was captured.

I called back and was put on hold, hung up on, and eventually got a voice mail. I said, yes, I want the toaster. Next day I get a call from the [Maine] store, they say it is not in a box, is a display model, and do I want to come pick it up. I explain that I am in Alaska. And need it shipped.

I received the toaster and there is a price tag on it for $22. I was charged $48. I contacted customer service and requested a refund for the one I never received, and for the difference between what I was charged on the one I did get, and the price tag on it.

I had to start over with being assigned to someone to research. Granted. I still have not received a response from the initial request. Now, it is past the 3-5 days I was told it would take for the second request.

They are a lousy business. Just lame.

This can’t be right. No actual profit-seeking store could function at this level of incompetence for years on end. It’s got to be some kind of prank on the shopping public. Be sure to enjoy this elaborate performance while you still can.


Edit Your Comment

  1. Dallas_shopper says:

    Sears = complete and utter farce. They are seriously signing their own death warrant.

  2. msky says:

    Sears is heading for that golden poo….

  3. caradrake says:

    Maine… Alaska… same thing, right? Snow and bears and vampires.

  4. Almighty Peanut says:

    i can’t imagine why sears/k-mart are closing a bunch of stores this year

  5. az123 says:

    Apparently the consumerist folks need to learn how business works, just because a company lost 400+ million on paper does not mean we will soon be loosing the joy of watching them look like idiots. Sears actually made a profit last year (although a 0.35% profit margin is not exactly getting them rich) and the big loss was probably more a bean counter hard at work than reality…. Never fear we will have sears around to enjoy watching stupidity forever!

    • Greg Ohio says:

      They work by milking taxpayers. I live in Ohio, and our idiot governor offered Sears $400 million to relocate their HQ to Columbus. They ended up accepting $275 million to stay in Illinois.

      Apparently Maine = Alaska and $275 million > $400 million.

      • MrEvil says:

        The $400M seems like a good deal, but in reality the $275M to stay put is a much better option. If Sears moved they’d probably eat up much more than $125M in relocating expenses between facilities, data center, and employees.

        Odds are the only reason Sears considered offerings from other states was to go back to the bargaining table with IL.

  6. pop top says:

    “But she didn’t know that the company has entered the next phase of its existence as a massive anti-capitalist prank, and has now added an absurdist theater aspect to the project.”

    This is the snark that has been lacking for the past several months (and especially since Ben “left”). I missed it so much! ‚ô• Laura.

  7. tjthayer says:

    A toaster AND a toaster oven? Isn’t that redundant redundant?

    • larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

      Toaster ovens are crap at making toast.

      • bsh0544 says:

        First, we need to be clear that even a slot toaster isn’t particularly good at making toast. With that understood, I would say that my toaster oven is as good at toasting as any slot toaster I’ve ever used. You just have to be careful with it.

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      I saw one in Walmart – a toaster oven with a toaster built in. I thought it was a little odd.

  8. Wasp is like Requiem for a Dream without the cheery bits says:

    Move to Maine, geez I really don’t see the problem here. Stop being uncooperative.

  9. MaxH42 thinks RecordStoreToughGuy got a raw deal says:

    For those wanting to blame the OP because anyone who reads Consumerist should know better, Consumerist stories turn up in the first page of results in Google searches for “sears customer service problems” and “sears pickup problem” (searched without quotes).

  10. Bodger says:

    You’re in Alaska. Toaster is in Maine? Take the great circle route across northern Canada…

  11. Quirk Sugarplum says:

    This makes no sense. How does she expect to toast slices of polar bear? Also, won’t the burning fur smell attract wolves?

    • Wasp is like Requiem for a Dream without the cheery bits says:

      The OP is completely out of control. Really, we’re the only two sensible people in this joint.

  12. Greyfox2401 says:

    this kinda reminds me of when I ordered Pokemon Black from shipped to my local Springfield IL store apparently at the time no copies were in ANY warehouse in the midwest so it had to come all the way from New York and take a tour down the East Coast, then tour BOTH Lexington and Louisville Kentucky before reaching my store

  13. Greyfox2401 says:

    Doesn’t everyone know that Maine is the center of the universe?

    • DownEaster says:

      If you live in Maine it is!!! :)!

      • Greyfox2401 says:

        Maine’s got everything;rabid St. Bernards, possessed cars, extradimentional child eating spider monsters, alien shit-weasels, a dead body, and a lot of yellow coats

  14. scoosdad says:

    In the next phase of Sears Theatre, three burly men show up unannounced at Marla’s house in Maine and proceed to box up her furniture for shipment to a K-Mart having a going out of business sale in Louisiana. Marla’s BofA debit card is charged for the shipping, which goes negative and starts to accumulate late fees. In the final act, BofA forecloses on Marla’s now empty (and toaster-less) home. Marla’s Sears toaster oven was sold on ebay and PayPal ordered the buyer to destroy it upon receipt, just for spite.

  15. XTREME TOW says:

    Sounds like normal Sears to me.
    So, what’s her problem?

  16. pwik says:

    Oh yes, Motorola can play this same game. Don’t even get me started on what it took to get a functioning lapdock and phone. This Dr. Jekyll was forced to become Mr. Hyde before I got what I had paid for. And amazingly, it was the local AT&T store that stepped in to play the hero and waive their rules.

  17. SearsCares says:

    Dear Marla,

    Our sincere apologies for all the frustration and hassle you’ve experienced with the order of your toaster. My name is Zenaida and I am part of the Sears Social Media Escalations team. I am very concerned about what I have read here. I would like to get you in contact with one of our corporate case managers to look into this further.

    At your convenience, please contact our office via email at so you don’t have to continue to be frustrated by this. In the email, please provide a contact phone number and the phone number the order was placed under (if different than the contact phone number) and we will call you directly. Also, in your email, please provide the screen name (Marla) you used to post on this site, for reference to your issue. We value your business and look forward to talking to you soon.

    Thank you,
    Zenaida M.
    Social Media Moderator
    Sears Social Media Support