Staples’ marketing reminder emails are very useful for some products that people buy frequently and regularly: say, printer ink or dry-erase markers. We’re not sure how sophisticated their marketing reminder software is, though, because they contacted Matthew to let him know that it’s time to buy a new fireproof safe.

“Oops, I guess they didn’t quite realize a Sentry Firesafe is a ‘durable good’, a phrase with little meaning in our world today,” Matthew wrote, attaching this screen shot:

Well, you certainly need a new one if your office catches fire every few months.

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