How To Save Up Money For The Apocalypse

Once you’ve taken advantage of the Second Coming Jewelry Sale, you may be wondering: how can I make sure that I have a nest egg ready for the End Times? Reader loquaciousmusic came up with this great idea to take advantage of two proposed “expiration dates” for the Earth. If the world ends–oh, well, you probably won’t have missed that $10 per week. If it does–hey, use the money to buy yourself something cool to celebrate still being alive.

The website WeCanKnow.com is predicting the end of the world. More
specifically, they’re telling their loyal readers “that the date of
the rapture of believers will take place on May 21, 2011” and “God
will destroy this world on October 21, 2011.” That’s right: less than
a year from now, the world will have ended.

So I came up with an idea. It’s easy and, if the world doesn’t, in
fact, end, there’s a nice payoff. Here are the steps:

1. Go online and open up a savings account. You can do so through
your own bank or through an online bank like ING Direct.

2. Call this savings account “The Apocalypse Fund.”

3. Set up a recurring deposit into “The Apocalypse Fund” to start
today and to end on 10/21/11. The deposit can be as small or as large
as you would like. It can be deposited weekly, bi-weekly, or
monthly–whatever you can afford.

4. At the same time, set up the same amount to be deposited into your
*regular* savings account. (If you don’t have one of those, for God’s
sake, set one up, too!)

5. At the end of the process, you should have, for example, $10 a
week going into “The Apocalypse Fund” and $10 a week going into your
standard savings account. If you start the account today (12/3/10),
there are 46 weeks until 10/21/11–and that’s $460 into each account.
If you deposit $25, you’ll get $1150 into each account.

6. If you wake up on the morning of October 22, 2011, first be
grateful that the world hasn’t ended. Then, if you want, take the
money out of “The Apocalypse Fund” and buy yourself something nice.
Hey, you have every right to–after all, you’ve deposited the same
amount of money into your savings account, right? (Of course, you
could also go online and find yet another website that predicts that
the world will end sometime in the future–say, in 2012–and just change
the “end” date on your account, too!)

Anyway, I hope you like this idea, a kind of “Christmas Club” but for
Armageddon.

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