Long-Armed Mannequin Scares People At Old Navy

Chad saw this mannequin at a Kansas Old Navy. His freakishly long left arm would be the ideal genetic mutation for Black Friday, allowing one to reach products on shelves from a great distance.

Something about the mannequin’s expression and the curvature of the arm reminds me of a Wheeler from Return to Oz. Sorry in advance for those Wheeler nightmares you’ll be having tonight after clicking on that link.


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  1. nodaybuttoday says:

    it’s pretty obvious that the arm just fell out of place…

  2. KyBash says:

    I’ve heard about one hand getting stronger, but how well-endowed is he to need an arm that long?

  3. Blueskylaw says:

    That mannequin definitely proves Einstein’s theory of the bending of space/time when you are close to a massive/dense object (Black Friday Shoppers).

  4. rileyjam514 says:

    Reminds me of that new Snickers commercial before Halloween:

  5. Rukes says:

    Old Navy is the perfect hideout for Slender Man, apparently


  6. bluejena says:

    So… Consumerist has become “vaguely amusing shit from Phil’s Twitter feed”, I see?

    • dragonfire81 says:

      Well in theory Ben and Meg are the senior editors here and they should be ok’ing/turning down whatever ideas Phil comes up with. I don’t think he can just post whatever he wants.

    • Gekas says:

      actually lol’d on this one.

  7. mikesum32 says:
  8. StrangeEmily says:

    Came in looking for the Snickers commercial reference, am now leaving satisfied.

  9. sjgarg says:

    Gomu Gomu no Rocket!

  10. EverCynicalTHX says:

    Kinda looks like the arms fell out of a manican’s sockets.

    Another Phil post eh? lol

  11. Gekas says:


    Bonus points if you get the reference.

  12. Phil Villakeepinitrreal says:

    Thanks Phil, for continuing to show us why you should be fired.

  13. Watcher95 says:

    Breaking News!

  14. phonic says:

    I find it amusing how you can tell who the poster of an ‘article’ is without even looking just by judging the crappiness of the content.



    Way to go Phil for keeping us aware of important consumer issues. I’m surprised you didn’t redact the state it was in.

  15. Pinkbox says:


  16. ianmac47 says:

    Obviously Old Navy is attempting to appeal to TSA agents. This mannequin is ready and willing to give passersby a reach around. This mannequin says: “I can reach your junk without stretching this fine cotton / polyester blend.”

    • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

      I scoured through the comment thread looking for a TSA-related comment before posting one of my own. You beat me to it. Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone else south of me. Hopefully no one touched your junk (that of course you didn’t approve of–a lovely person of the opposite sex of course is welcome to), either with our without an elongated left arm.

      Now if this could be real: http://twitpic.com/3a80hn then I’d have no problem with airport security!

  17. coren says:

    The location of the old navy should be redacted, or else when Old Navy responds to this CRITICAL CONSUMER ISSUE they’ll just say it was that specific location’s problem and not resolve it country wide. Gosh.

  18. Cyniconvention says:

    You know what this reminds me of?



    Or. arguably, a halfway competent ditto.

  19. Slave For Turtles says:

    Parts of my brain are definitely yelling “WTF” when I look at that. Could have something to do with just waking up and having no coffee yet.

    On this Thanksgiving morning, I could sure use a hand. Send him over.

  20. sprybuzzard says:

    Go go gadget arm?

  21. Jerkamie says:

    Is the company taking it very seriously?

  22. chefguru says:

    This has to be the STUPIDEST post that I’ve ever seen on this website.

    • JulesNoctambule says:

      Looks like it’s time for you to find a new website! You’ll be greatly missed, I’m sure.

      • Skeptic says:

        Right, because this is such a great Consumerist post…

      • Phil Villakeepinitrreal says:

        You’re defending this post…why, exactly?

      • eyesack is the boss of the DEFAMATION ZONE says:

        Get angrier! Message board posts need to be super serious at all times! Why doesn’t Phil write more stories about cancer or homelessness?!

        Does Internet Tough Guy have a theme song yet?

        • DeepHurting says:

          Posts like this are very serious issues for those of us cannot sort and prioritize information on our own.

        • humbajoe says:

          This isn’t a message board…it’s a consumer web site.

          • eyesack is the boss of the DEFAMATION ZONE says:

            Not…really. A small group of people link to articles and we get pissed off at each other about them. Except for when the article specifically asks us for useful input, there is nothing of educational value down here. It’s for fun. It’s a message board.

  23. Master Medic: Now with more Haldol says:

    Lay off the pot.

  24. El_Fez says:

    Christ! All you “This isn’t news! Why is this on the page!?!” people need to lighten the fuck up! It’s a holliday, nobody at the Consumerist is going to be bothering posting, and they’ll all be with their families. I mean that Thanksgiving Recipe thread isn’t exactly hard hitting journalism, either.

    We’ll probably get three stories today, if we’re lucky. So who cares if we get a little bit of fluff! Chill the fuck out, have some pumpkin pie and relax!

  25. ooeygooey says:

    Thanks for the laugh, Phil. I’ve been cooking all day and needed an amusement. I wish for all of us that all the mannequins this holiday season are somehow menacing and deformed, and give smiles and joy as we push our way past the dawdlers and the crying children. Happy Holidays!

  26. humphrmi says:
  27. JulesNoctambule says:

    I had some mannequin parts I wanted to repaint, including heads, arms and hands, and I left them out on the porch to dry, setting them atop a table and chair. Yesterday, when the mailman came by he told me ‘I don’t think you were trying to scare the hell out of me, but it worked anyway!’ Also, they appear to have scared off two different sets of door-to-door solicitors in the past three days. I think I might keep them out there!

  28. Christine says:

    It’s funny…. but wow…. there has GOT to be more length to this story…. tie it in with something consumery…

    • outlulz says:

      It’s at a store. Consumers go there.

      • Christine says:

        A fashion faux pas from a manniquin is hardly money related. My children, ages 5 and 7 laughed at headless ones last week… this is a web site to be informed about money related stories….

  29. jpdanzig says:

    I didn’t think the prequel to John Carpenter’s “The Thing” was coming until next year…

  30. HungryGal says:

    I lol’ed. There are much scarier things at most Old Navy’s though…

    This photo probably should have just been stuck in the Flickr pool to use in a future Old Navy related article, but its a holiday so I’ll take it as is. I’m too stuffed to read anyways. Which makes me wonder why I’m online…. I think there’s a Godfather marathon on tv. Back to the sofa.

  31. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    I notice the Consumerist Article Policeâ„¢ are crawling all over this one still. :/

  32. topgun says:

    Old Navy scares me.

  33. watchwhathappens says:

    Old Navy’s mannequin campaign is creepy and not clever at all. But it seems they’re really committed to it. So I guess this is one of the creepy mannequins you’re supposed to recognize from the ads, and somehow…that will make you buy more?

  34. conscious says:

    This reminds me of Robert Patric ending a man’s life while he was merely enjoying some milk.

  35. suburbancowboy says:

    “Damn Alligator bit my hand off!”

  36. stavr0 says: