UPDATE: The AFA has called off the boycott after Dick’s decided to use the word “Christmas” after all.
If there’s one thing the not-at-all insane people at the American Family Association are good for, it’s hilarious boycotts. The latest on their hit list is Dick’s Sporting Goods, not because of the sorta-phallic name — though you might expect that from a group that spells “nudity” as “nud**y” — but because Dick’s has the balls to not use the word “Christmas” in its holiday sales promotions.
“In our research of the Top 100 retailers in America, Dick’s advertising is likely the most ‘anti-Christmas’ of all,” reads a statement on the AFA site. “We looked high and low for ‘Christmas’ at Dick’s, only to find they couldn’t care less if they offend you and other Christians.”
Yes, because most people forget that section of the New Testament all about having to reference Jesus’ birthday when discounting prices on products in November and December. It’s a fact.
“Sure, Dick’s wants you to buy their products,” continues the AFA’s completely rational explanation. “but no retailer in the nation has appeared to go out of its way to snub ‘Christmas’ more than Dick’s.”
Speaking to AdAge.com, the AFA’s director of special projects says the organization is thisclose to claiming complete victory in the war for “Christmas.”
“We’ve had a complete flip,” he says about the recent upswing in the number of companies who have begun using “Christmas” again. “The politically correct holiday verbiage is going away. Companies are getting the message.”
There do still remain those stalwart Scrooges who just refuse to “Christmas”-up their holiday sales. The other companies on the AFA’s list of “Companies Against ‘Christmas'” are:
Barnes & Noble
Another thing the AFA cleared up for us is that they aren’t trying to strong-arm companies into changing policies with these boycotts: “It’s not bullying, it’s consumer advocacy,” he said. “When your advertising has trees and ornaments and gift wrapping, you’re advertising Christmas, so don’t call it holiday.”
Because remember that only people who celebrate Christmas are allowed to get a tree or wrap gifts.