Buy These Suitcase Stickers If You Want To Get Frisked

If you want to get an equal amount of eye-rolls, giggles and terrified looks from those standing around you in airport security lines, affix one of these security-provoking decals to your luggage.

Available at 4 for $25 on The Cheeky, the stickers come in three flavors in addition to drug runner: kidnapper, money launderer and sex toy fiend.

These stickers seem to have taken the concept of the (NSFW) Dick Towel and ran with it. All the way to the pat-down area adjacent to the metal detector and x-ray machines.

Suitcase Stickers [The Cheeky]
(Thanks, Brent!)


Edit Your Comment

  1. smo0 says:

    I saw these on geekologie…. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.

  2. JoeDawson says:

    Always Sunny is the best thing since Seinfeld… and less annoying to watch than Curb Your Enthusiusm

  3. Angus99 says:

    I wish I was brave enough! The kidnapper one has what looks like a stewardess inside – genius!

  4. Sillyheart says:

    The kidnapper one is disturbing.

  5. GuyGuidoEyesSteveDaveâ„¢ says:

    When I smuggle, I make sure to add catnip to my bags. Most people don’t know that the TSA employs cats. They have a pride of Drug/Explosive/Bio-weapons Ignoring Cats. Since cats plan for our eventual downfall, they will ignore direct threats to people. If a cat hits on your bag, they let it through, because the one that it ignores contains the danger.

  6. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    What’s NSFW mean?

    clicks link…

    OH GOD!!

    • Bakergirl says:

      What does two girls and a cup mean….Coaca cola apparently.

    • Jdavis says:

      Hmmm…. you didn’t notice the big a** notice about “adult content” when you clicked on the link?

    • raydee wandered off on a tangent and got lost says:

      Yeah, it took me a while to figure out that “NSFW” means “not safe for work.”

      Oddly enough, it was something I picked up on a brief visit to the Snopes forum, where they use “NSFBSC” or some similar variant; “not safe for british school children.”

      I often Consumerist from work, so I appreciate NSFW warnings. XD

    • Smashville says:

      What does goatse mean?

      *clicks link*

      Oh…it’s some sort of spelunking website.

  7. c!tizen says:

    TSA: “that’s an interesting sticker on your suitcase.”
    Me: “oh… yeah… sticker” *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip*

  8. Hoot says:

    I can’t decide whether this would give a TSA worker a refreshing laugh, or would (and should) make them detain you longer for joking about something that isn’t funny and making the lines longer. Then, of course, we’d have rants on here about how the TSA can’t take a joke and they’re all the trash can lickers of society.

  9. dreamfish says:

    Anyone would think the TSA don’t have a sense of humour.

  10. tomok97 says:

    This would be perfect for actual drug smugglers. It’d be a great double-bluff.

  11. Doc S says:

    Frisked?! More like forcibly cavity-searched!

  12. brianisthegreatest says:

    Who puts these on? The air traveler or the TSA agent on the last day of work?

  13. Nighthawke says:

    Ok, I gotta ask this: Whats the big racket about owning that many sex toys?

    Does that mean the person is that creative??

    • ktetch says:

      Well, iirc, in texas a woman can’t own more than 5…

      So don’t arrive in DFW with that one on.

  14. yankinwaoz says:

    Well Actually….
    The TSA doesn’t care. US Customs, and law enforcement agencies care.

    In past instances when TSA agents have taken it upon themselves to be law enforcement detectives, or pretend to be US Customs, the TSA had issued press releases that the agent is being “retrained”.

    Remember that case last year when the TSA decided that a Steve Bierfeldt, flying domestic from St. Louis to Washington DC, with $4700 in cash on him, was detained for questioning? TSA agents demand to know where they money came from and where it was going. The passenger worked for a US Congressman, and he recorded the interrogation on his iPhone. The TSA way out of bounds in that case, and the TSA director had to issue an apology and a press release to clarify what the TSA can and can not do.

    In other words, it is not the TSA’s job to enforce drug laws, money laundering laws, kidnapping laws, import/export restrictions, etc. Their job, and their ONLY job, is to assure that air travel is safe. They do this primarily by preventing weapons and potential weapons off planes, and to a lesser extent, dangerous people.

    You should be able to bring a suitcase full of narcotics on board, and it is NOT the TSA’s job to stop you or even report you. As long as you are not a danger to the aircraft or passengers, they have no right to do a damn thing.

    • bigTrue says:

      Yoiu saw Armageddon and went on and on about how it wasn’t realistic afterword, too, huh?

    • arcticJKL says:

      Of course as agents of the federal government they may be required to report any crimes they see occurring.

      • yankinwaoz says:

        On the contrary. no.

        TSA screeners have no more law enforcement powers than a mall cop. At least they are not supposed to. However, some think that they are cops. Those are the dangerous ones.

        Frankly, the TSA agents I’ve run into are dumb as bricks and wouldn’t even pass the entrance exam for police training school. I get the feeling most never even got a GED. Do you really want this dimwits acting as police officers? Hell no.

    • DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

      Cool, I’ll stuff a stewardess in my bag next time and see how well that goes over.

    • mmmsoap says:

      While I get (and agree with!) that the TSA shouldn’t enforce any laws, it seems counter-productive that they shouldn’t be obligated to report laws that are broken to other agencies, if only to reduce the costs of redundant investigators and because they’re in a position to observe potential infractions. I view this as similar to mandated-reporting laws that most doctors/teachers/child-care workers are subjected to, in terms of reporting any and all suspected child abuse.

  15. arcticJKL says:

    Id like to see a bomb and a Bin Laden hiding.

  16. Meathamper says:

    Yeah, cavity searches don’t really excite me so no thanks?

  17. SWBLOOPERS says:

    Doesn’t TSA recommend marking your bag in such a way that it is distinctly different from all the other bags the airlines handle?