BP’s latest efforts to fix the oil spill seem to be actually stopping the geyser of oil, the Coast Guard cautiously announced this morning. The final word isn’t in yet, but might something in the Gulf might be going right for once? I dare not even utter hope’s name.

The latest tweet from the official BP account around 8am this morning says, “Top kill” operations continued over the night & are ongoing. There are no significant events to report at this time. #oilspill”

However, the fake BP PR account is more effusive: “The LA Times is reporting that Top Kill is working to plug the leak! Looks like our job here is done. See ya later gulf!#5dayweekend!”

And referring to a new report that the Gulf oil spill is far worse than the Valdez disaster, fake BP PR tweeted, “Just got the concession call from Exxon Valdez. They were great competitors and remarkably evil about everything. #bpwins!”

Zing! Soon the lawsuits and trials will begin, and they’re already starting to uncover lots of nastiness, like oil companies being allowed to fill in their own inspection reports, and one inspector reportedly admitting to using crystal meth and maybe being high on it during drilling inspections. And we’ll also be on to the fun task of cleaning up countless barrels oil. They literally are countless because no one seems to be able to say how much came out. But enough finger-pointing, let’s get to work immediately on building a hyper-sized ShamWow.

BP Has ‘Some Success’ With Temporary Oil Leak Halt, U.S. Says [Bloomberg]
‘Top kill’ stops gulf oil leak, official says [Los Angeles Times]
Oil inspectors let companies fill in own audits, while one admitted getting high on meth, report says [The Raw Story]

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