Zug.com’s Bayan Rabbani is a glutton for punishment. Having spent 24 hours inside a Walmart in the name of comedy journalism, he thought he was ready to spend 24 hours inside a Starbucks. He was wrong.
Largely his story is one of a man who staves off boredom through constant sugar-laden caffeine beverages, tweets, and attempts to interact with fellow customers that are largely in vain. At one point Bayan tries to get a game of espresso pong but the manager
puts the kibosh on it, reminding Bryan that acting weird and that disturbing the carefully crafted casual corporate coffeehouse vibe can get you kicked out.
I’m mainly fascinated by the effect of so much coffee in such a short period of time:
3:06 PM May 14: 15 hours, 11 restroom visits, and 16 drinks in. At this point, it really felt like I was seeing things. The drinks weren’t the worst part, it was mostly the restroom. My bladder began to hurt. Later it would go numb.
3:45 PM May 14: It feels like my body is throwing up from the outside into my insides. Trust me, in my delirious condition it makes perfect sense. For some reason, my skin began to feel really hot. I ran to the restroom thinking I would barf, but I managed to keep everything inside.
12:03 AM May 14th: 24 HOURS, 19 RESTROOM BREAKS, 25 DRINKS! I DID IT!!!!
Venti Me, anyone?