Comcast Really Needs That -$0.05, Man

Aaron is getting his Comcast shut off if he doesn’t cough up -$0.05.

So, we suppose that would mean he has to go down there and take $0.05 from someone at Comcast?

Or should he send a check for -$0.05?

Can we call Jack Donaghy about this yet?

12-18-2009 1-15-05 PM.jpg


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  1. hungryhomer says:

    I wonder what would happen if he sent them a cheque for $ -0.05. If we’re lucky, it will warp the fabric of space-time, causing the Comcast office to collapse upon itself “House of Usher”-style.

    • mywarlord says:

      I’m going to send Comcast a check for -$1,000,000,000 and retire to my island lair.

      • 32ndnote says:

        It’s a bummer that there is only a “Flag for review” link next to your comment. I want a “Flag for awesome.”

    • sasakan says:

      We can only dream about such a thing of awesome.

    • daddy_froglegs says:

      Who would’ve thunk that Comcast was the glue holding the Universe together.
      Oh well, we had a good run.

    • almightytora says:

      I think by sending that check, someone will say “Kebert Xela” and will send Alex Trebek to another dimension.

    • nonsane says:

      Actually i recall a similar story where they kept threatening to cut off his cable if he didn’t pay $0.00.

      so he wrote them a cheque for $0.00. The bank flagged his account and shut it off and it took a week to get it going again. It’s hard to win when fighting the machine.

  2. KhaiJB says:

    so they are sending him 5 cents then? ;)

  3. barb95 says:

    Huh. The minus before the 5 cents confuses me a bit. I guess I would call first. If that does not work, I would send them five pennies. Take that!

    • OletheaEurystheus says:

      it means they owe him 5 cents, but whoever coded their system was such a huge moron that they set it to auto generate a bill regardless of if comcast owes them or they owe comcast which is the only time generating a bill should matter.

      given comcast managed to double bill me last month then had issues crediting my account with what they took last month, its not surprising.

      • Hil-fish says:

        Yup. The difference between (if x != 0) and (if x

        • Hil-fish says:

          I swear I had a complete reply – no idea what happened to it.

          • larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

            You used a less-than sign, aka left angle bracket, interpreted by the site as the beginning of some html. To use special characters like that, you need to use an HTML entity – &lt; – which will show up as <

          • henrygates3 says:

            This is what happens when companies get too big. It should be a simple fix with one quick phone call, but I’m certain that everyone available in the Comcast phone tree is genuinely unable to fix this problem with their system without finding the one, unknown person who has access to press the right button.

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        Yes, and did you ever notice the little “minus” sign is so miniscule you almost need a magnifying glass to see it? My elderly Mother-in-Law double paid one month, and kept paying…until she had a credit of over $90.00 and called me screaming about high cable rates. I called Comcast and asked them why they would even print a bill like that. I ended up intercepting the bills until the credit was exhausted because they couldn’t stop sending the bill. They are asshats.

  4. tmed says:

    Send disconnection note if (balance > 0) not if (balance != 0)

    • nucwin83 says:

      Yep. Someone’s billing system has an issue. And who woulda guessed it’s Comcrap.

    • bwcbwc says:

      Now there’s someone who knows both their code AND their HTML :)

      Whatever you do, don’t send them 5 cents. Then they’ll start billing you for -$0.10.

      Go to their office and demand your nickelback. So to speak.

  5. vladthepaler says:

    I guess he should send Comcast a similar letter. To avoid an interruption of my service, please pay $0.05.

  6. Tim says:

    Ever since word started to get out about this Comcast-NBC deal, I’ve been wondering about Jack’s future. He might have to give up his microwave oven duties (I don’t know if he ever had remote control duties … right now he’s Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming).

    Then again, GE isn’t divesting itself of NBC, so I guess he could keep his microwave oven responsibilities.

    Any insight?

  7. BoC says:

    Surely, this will cost much more than 5 actual cents to fix…

    • Difdi says:

      It already cost them more than $0.05 to send him a bill demanding they pay him money or they’ll cut him off…

  8. larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

    More info from where this was first posted (what, you don’t want to scare people by linking to Joe.My.God ?) – Aaron now lives in Portland, OR, this “bill” is regarding service he discontinued when he moved away from Jersey City several months ago. So not only are they threatening to disconnnect his service, they’re threatening to disconnect service that’s already been disconnected.

    • pinkpetunia says:

      If they find what they perceive to be a delinquency on the customer’s part, they’ll shut off your new services too if they know its still you, just somewhere else.

  9. sweetpea12 says:

    Can he send them a check like this:

    But you know…with the equation equaling -.05 and the check written out to Comcast

    • echovictorecho says:

      Randall Munroe rocks my face off, but I still wonder if that check was considered valid.

    • psiphiorg says:

      Too bad that image misrepresents the value of the check. The captioner misread e^(iπ) as e^(2π), and ended up with 535 instead of −1.

      The actual value of the check is two tenths of one cent. $(0.002 + −1 + 1) = $0.002.

  10. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    The canundrum here is that if he sends them a check for $0.05, he’ll get a letter saying he now owes them -$0.10.

  11. JohnDeere says:

    everyone is missing the point. they want him to think he owes a nickel. if he sends them a nickel we will all be next. and those nickels will add up.

    • nybiker says:

      I’m guessing next month’s bill will ask for -$.10. And then we can have a tag ‘nickeled & dimed’.

  12. blueduckconsumerist says:

    How often is he charged for his service? Assuming his monthly is more than $.05, won’t this resolve itself in less than 30 days?

    • seegull says:

      Not unless Comcast decides to follow through with their insanity and disconnect him, in which case he will continue to receive collection notices until he resolves it with customer service.

      • zacox says:

        That just brings a whole lot of other questions. What would a credit reporting agency (Equifax, TU, Experian) do with a collection trade line for negative money? Would they kick that back saying “sorry we dont place collection lines for negative money.”

        And what about the collection agency themselves? What happens if they submit it to a collection agency. Does that merit a call from the collection agency to the original creditor saying “are you out of your flippin’ minds?”

        • seegull says:

          No, you would just get an extra point on your credit score! And with negative interest, who knows how much money you could make! Negative debt may just be the answer to all of the world’s problems.

          So yeah. Comcast might wanna get on this.

    • larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

      See my comment above. He moved, this service is no more. It’s an ex-service. It’s joined the choir invisible. etc etc.

  13. EatSleepJeep says:

    Sprint PCS once turned off my service because I overpaid my bill and they owed me $4.00. No one I talked to could remedy the situation, I imagine Aaron is going to experience the same level of frustration that I did…

  14. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    Would a drawing of a spider suffice?

  15. echovictorecho says:

    My homeowner’s association does this ALL THE TIME. “Please be advised that you owe -$1.28. If this situation is not resolved we will send in the Luftwaffe” etc etc.

    • bwcbwc says:

      I’m starting to think not even all the computer programmers in India and China will be enough to fix all the cheesed up billing systems in the world. I guess that means better job security for the competent ones.

  16. Keep talking...I'm listening says:

    Surprised comcastcares hasn’t chimed in yet…

  17. AK47 - Now with longer screen name! says:

    It would so be worth my time to go down to a Comcast office and demand a nickel from the poor schmuck working there. Of course, I’m easily amused.

  18. INsano says:

    I returned a $79.99 product to Office Max the other day and they gave me $80.00–I’d be happy to donate the proceeds.