Humiliate Yourself For Free Chick-fil-A Today

Unless I’m dreaming a cruel dream that I’ll wake up from any second, today is July 10! Wait — don’t stare at me like you don’t know what that means. It’s Cow Appreciation Day! Still nothing? OK, let me explain: Dress up like a cow, head to a Chick-fil-A and you’ll get a free combo meal.

It’s like Christmas, Thanksgiving and that recurring dream of you finding yourself walking around in public dressed like a farm animal all rolled into one.

As an added bonus, the potential 45-minute wait in line will give you ample to gawk at all the similarly desperate souls who will do ANYTHING for their proverbial Klondike Bar.

If you don’t know where to get started, print out Chick-fil-A’s handy cow costume kit, which you can just print out, cut up and tape to yourself to bring out your inner bovine. I recommend the waffle fries and lemonade, which are unmatched by any other fast food chain. The sandwiches are milquetoast, but well worth the sticker price, at least on this holiest of days.