Dan Hesse, You Can Keep Making Commercials Forever

Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.

See Dan’s new public-access-style ad below.

Here’s Tonya’s irate piggy clip that inspired us (warning: cursing).


Edit Your Comment

  1. 2719 says:


  2. Yankees368 says:

    That was very, very stupid.

  3. Chris Walters says:

    @2719: Meh, it amused me to make it.

  4. N.RobertMoses says:

    That wasn’t very stupid, that set a new bar for stupid. No doubt we’ll see a half hour Fox sitcom based on it in the near future.

  5. twophrasebark says:

    It made me laugh.

  6. B says:

    It amused me to watch it, a definate improvement over the real Dan Hesse. I hope Dan’s “how to be a television personality” classes go well, though, cause he needs the help.

  7. ludwigk says:

    This would be perfect for concocting ransom letters.

  8. Mike8813 says:

    Am I the only one that wasn’t bothered by the commercials? Is watching some guy talking somehow more annoying than Verizon’s “the network”, or Alltel’s Chad?

    • From the cubicle of PGibbons says:

      @Mike8813: I haven’t seen a single mobile phone commercial that didn’t strongly entice me to send my television a G.W. Bush “Victory Shoe” pronto.

      But when I see Sprint’s commercials, I consider removing the laces, first.

  9. legwork says:

    Know who’s really bothered by those ads? The SAG. He’s screwing up the normally low average non-union wage.

  10. Chris Stone says:

    Ha, that was cute. The Dan Hesse one. The pig one started to wear off a little. It’s like “Um, okay, you’ve already made your point, and for how long do I have to hear that awful music loop?” The Sprint parody was actually pretty funny.

    But the Sprint ads don’t really bother me too much. In fact, I love them. Remember that post you guys made where you said he’s always roaming around the city and in diners because he’s looking for his lost customers? And the black and white was because he’s sad? Every time I see one of those commercials, I remember that, and it makes me laugh. :)

  11. theczardictates says:

    Whenever I see a CEO in their own commercial I always think: doesn’t he have something more important he should be doing than recording this? Especially when his company is in so much trouble?

    I give a pass to “Papa John” because hey, it’s pizza.

  12. alpinerover says:

    I laughed.

  13. dragon:ONE says:

    Great, Consumerist.

    Now I’m hooked on screwing around on Xtranormal.
    More time to waste making pointless videos for me… >_>

  14. dvdchris says:

    Why are all the suggested videos for hemorrhoid relief? Am I missing something?