The New York Times breaks down the annual expenses of your average Fancy Pants Executive Type who lives in Manhattan.

Private school: $32,000 a year per student. Mortgage: $96,000 a year. Co-op maintenance fee: $96,000 a year. Nanny: $45,000 a year. We are already at $269,000, and we haven’t even gotten to taxes yet.

As relatively poor people, we think we can help. Here’s the Times-supplied expenses and our suggestions on where to cut costs.

Annual Expenses		Our Suggestions
Private school (per student)	$32,000	public school + “Gossip Girl” discs via Netflix	$9 monthly subscription fee
Mortgage & Co-Op fees	$192,000	Just move already. To a house with no co-op fees.	$96,000
Nanny	$45,000	This 500K income is brought in by only one spouse, right? The other one doesn’t have a day job? Do you see where we’re going with this?	$0
Vacations (2: beach and skiing)	$16,000	Six Flags Great Adventure, Rockaway Beach in Queens, Coney Island, and assorted zoos, gardens, events, and museums in the city	$1500
Summer house	$240,000	Find a summer share on CraigsList, or rely on invitations from former Hamptons neighbors	$10,000
Chauffer	$100,000	Did you know anyone can drive a car? It’s true! All you need is a license.	$50 (NYC license fee)
Garage fees	$700	Park below 65th St or, park on the street	$500 or free, with occasional tickets
Personal trainer	$12,000	Your memory. You paid attention during those earlier training sessions, right? If you still want some encouragement, consider a Wii Fit and/or re-runs of “The Biggest Loser.”	$0-80
Party gowns for galas (3 per year)	$35,000	You live in the same town as the Fashion Institute of Technology and Parsons. Find an ambitious student to nurture.	$3,000 plus an investment in potential future fashion insiderness
Tutoring	$3,750	“You’re not going to get through private school without tutoring a kid.” That’s not going to be a problem with public school, we assure you. You may still want a tutor though for supplemental education, so we suggest CraigsList	$0-$1500
Groceries	$15,000	Try the Grocery Game! Otherwise, we’re not going to mess with this one, other than to assume that you can probably shop smarter if you set yourself a lower budget—say, $200 a week instead of the $288 currently estimated	$10,400
Frozen hot chocolates at Serendipity	$8.50 each	You know what goes on at Serendipity, right?	$0

“You Try to Live on 500K in This Town” [New York Times]
(Photo: Matt Mordfin)

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