Christmas Creep may be more out of control than ever this year (Were Veterans Day sales always Christmas-themed?), but that doesn’t mean that these are happy holidays for professional Santas. Yes, according to the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, an organization that actually exists according to the Wall Street Journal, Santa bookings are down. Way down.

Santa bookings have dropped so steeply that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, which represents 700 jolly souls in red velvet, held a series of meetings to discuss their economic survival. Among the tips: If clients can’t afford an extended Santa visit at $125 an hour, offer them a quickie drop-in. “Have him read a story to the group instead of having everyone come sit on Santa’s lap,” suggests Nicholas Trolli, who says bookings are down 50% for the 20 Santas he represents along the East Coast.

This trend of skimping on civic cheer comes as a blow to many families. Their holidays at home will be more modest this year. Office parties will also be subdued. Now they can’t even count on cherished holiday traditions in the town square.

This is tragic, because as everyone knows, if Santa is broke he’ll have to cut back on health care for the elves and that’s just going to place an undue burden on the taxpayer. Or worse yet, he’ll have to outsource his toy making contracts to gnomes.

Glum Tidings: Santa Gets Sacked as Cities, Companies Look to Save [WSJ via Buzzfeed]
(Photo: silent (e) )

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