Gwyneth Paltrow wants to help you live your life by offering you some sound advice. As that is not too far off from what we at Consumerist try to do, we clicked over to “GOOP” (that’s what she’s calling the website) and were told to do the following: Treat ourselves to something (Hydrox cookies, check,); Go to a city we’ve never been to (Texarkana, here we come!); Learn something new (We’ve chosen modal logic and skeet shooting); Don’t be lazy; and finally “Workout and stick with it.”

Hmm. Maybe if we do that last one we’ll be hot enough to offer bland, generic advice and get away with it.



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  1. DrGirlfriend says:

    “GOOP is a little bit of everyting that makes up my life.”

    1. Ew.
    2. I have my own nugget of wisdom. If you were to ask me or one of my sages, “How self centered is Gwyneth Paltrow?”, then I or one of my sages would serenely respond, “Gwyneth Paltrow was not as self-centered yesterday as she is today, but she is not as self-centered today as she will be tomorrow.”

  2. timmus says:

    Administrative Contact: Wheaton, Wil


    Administrative Contact:


    Gwyneth, is this really your site?

  3. durkzilla says:

    I really kinda hate the fact that celebrities think we could all learn something from them, cause, like, they’re SOOOO much smarter than the rest of us. Because they’re famous.

    And attention whores.

  4. Amy Alkon says:

    My advice: Lose the Flash open; it’s annoying as fuck.

  5. ninabi says:

    My “inner aspect” didn’t feel “nourished” enough by that website.

    Glad to know Princess P(altrow) is so full of BS she is telling that we need sacks, designer sacks, to put her BS in.

    Or maybe a recipe! A recipe for Baked BS.

    I also need to travel? Indeedy. Who knew? Gwyneth, thank you oh thank you for figuring out what my commoner’s life is lacking.

  6. dohtem says:

    Am I the only one that read “skeet shooting” and thought of Lil John.


    • @dohtem: Well, I know a image of Ben and Meg and the other eds popped into my mind. They all had on nice blaze orange jackets, protective glasses, and had their shotguns at the ready. When someone said “PULL!”, instead of normal clay pigeons, what flew across the horizon where ones that looked like Mastercard logos, while the others just had companies names on them. Maybe this is why i shouldn’t eat chili before bed.

  7. lalaland13 says:

    Let me know if you do come to Texarkana. I grew up there. I’ll show you around. Like here’s State Line Avenue, where you can buy liquor on one side of the street but not the other. And here you can put one foot in Texas and one in Arkansas!

    Well, it is twice as nice. But probably no Chicago. You win.

  8. Isajeep says:

    Heh…TexArkana Airport is on our air traffic control simulators at school, we use it frequently.

    • timmus says:

      I can see your “hell week” before graduation: working the Singapore Airlines A380s, British Airways 747s, and Delta 777s all lined up on the standard arrivals into the Texarkana TRACON.

  9. says:

    wow…stay active and be open to new experiences and you’ll have a fulfilling life. never thought of that one before!

    thanks G!

  10. Nakko says:

    Texarkana is great! They just got a loop built (ring road) around the city!

  11. battra92 says:

    One way to help your life out: Pretend this self absorbed skinny witch doesn’t exist. :D

    She occasionally shows up in Williamstown (or at least did years ago) and someone I know who worked in a big hotel up there said she used to act like she should be treated like royalty.

    On the other hand, when the former Shah of Iran was there he would talk cordially with the help.

    Weird how that works out huh?

  12. adamkantor says:

    Best piece of advice I ever received was don’t take advice from anybody…

  13. dwneylonsr says:

    And here I thought GOOP was a waterless hand cleaner.


  14. Nonie says:

    She loves to work hard, which is why she is a stay at home mom with 2 nannies. Wait, what?
    She was on Oprah, which is why I know her favorite place to work out in the world is in her orchard where she can hear her children playing in the pool.