Here’s one possible explanation for all that porn your cable company says you ordered:

A 14-year-old boy broke into a Central Florida home and ordered more than $100 worth of porn movies on the family’s television, police said.

[Local 6]


Edit Your Comment

  1. tmed says:

    kids will be kids

  2. haha … I’ll have to try this excuse with my wife sometime XD

    (j/k honey)

    Don’t know that I could watch $100 worth of porn o.O

  3. I still say since it was a teacher, someone used their remote from home or a friends, and stood outside her house and ordered it. This is why I lock down my PPV, since I never use it, with a PIN which I inevitably forget.

  4. SkokieGuy says:

    @TakingItSeriously: I will assume you’re not a 14 year old boy.

  5. Negative says:

    I wonder what the “clean up” cost was?

  6. Jesus, is this kid not aware of the Intarwebs?

  7. LowerHouseMember says:

    Does this kid not have internet access or something?

  8. thelushie says:

    The kid had been in trouble before and, at least, is being held responsible for his actions. I have never bought into the “kids will be kids” argument. If a kid gets into trouble, then it is a good time to learn there are consequences for actions.

    Now, let’s all hope the family’s cable provider is not Comcast so that there is a chance they will have the charges forgiven.

  9. nfs says:

    sounds like that kid who stole grandma’s SUV.

  10. MayorBee says:

    An investigation showed that the boy ordered about $129 worth of pornography on the victim’s television account.

    The boy was charged with occupied burglary and grand theft.

    $129? At $14.99 per 2 hour “movie”, that’s more than 16 hours of writhing, pulsing, sticky tango lessons! And to think, I’m good after 3 minutes.

  11. tmed says:


    It’s not a defense, it’s a fact.

    Given the whole arrrest, charged with a felony, and going to court thing. I expect the little whipper-snapper will be feeling the consequences of his actions for a bit.

  12. am84 says:

    @nfs: Hey, hey, he just wanted to do some “hood rat stuff” with his friends! :)

  13. howie_in_az says:

    @tmed: He watched several hours of porn! I’d imagine he’s feeling the consequences of his actions right now.

  14. Bladefist says:

    someone needs to teach him just to run un-delete on his hard drive. I’m sure bestbuy/dell/hp/apple left plenty on from the previous owner.

  15. @thelushie: The kid should probably pay the charges as part of restitution; the cable company didn’t do anything wrong here.

    Bonus irresponsibility points for the kid’s parents if they sue the homeowner for making porn available to a minor.

  16. @MayorBee: Perhaps he was sampling until he found the Brazilian fart porn movie.

  17. tmed says:

    I assume that he knew he could get porn on the intertubes, but couldn’t find a way past that “Click here if you’re an adult” screen.

  18. MayorBee says:

    Papa Bear: “Someone’s been watching my porn!”
    Mama Bear: “Someone’s been watching my porn, too!”
    Baby Bear: “Someone’s watching my porn right now, and there he is!”

    I’m talking about these three bears, of course.

  19. Trai_Dep says:

    On a related note, Florida police announced they closed multiple open cases involving thefts of Kleenex boxes and scores of missing bottles of Nivea body lotion.
    They’re still stymied over reports of TV remote vandalism in which “ookie stuff” was deposited by unknown intruders.

  20. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    @MayorBee: @howie_in_az: Well, he probably was channel surfing and clicked “YAY CHARGE ME” every time he switched to another porn channel.

    I looked on my satellite and there are now like 6 hard core porn channels and 2 soft channels. Talk about pleasing all the people all the time.

  21. MayorBee says:

    @Applekid: Yeah, but it’s more fun to think he had a porn overdose.
    Picture the family coming home from shopping and the boy’s passed out on the couch and the TV’s still going. The mom says “Aww, he’s sleeping. Ssshhh, don’t wake him.”

  22. Trai_Dep says:

    Considering it’s the FL PD, I’m shocked the authorities aren’t arresting the homeowners for some absurd child-sex charges.
    Related note: the cabler isn’t making the homeowners pay the bill then sue the kid’s parents if they want compensation, are they?

  23. SkyeBlue says:

    Now watch, this kids’ parents will find a way to be able to sue the cable company for allowing the kid access to the porn, whether he broke the law getting it or not!

  24. JDAC says:

    A 14 year old? Man, they’re starting later and later these days…

    This used to happen to my Comcast box all the time (pre-DVR). I’d get the bill and see 2, 3 sometimes 4 pornos on there, always around early afternoon.

    I got every single charge overturned as porn at 2pm on a thursday is no good to me when I’m at work. When porn isn’t frowned on in the office, then all bets are off, but if I’m being charged for it, I want to see it!

    The Comcast explanation was that the previous renter of the box may have set reminders, which is amazingly forward thinking for the man who orders “Gigantic Asses”.

  25. bohemian says:

    16 hours of porn. That kid probably has a repetitive stress injury to his wrist now.

  26. Bagels says:

    I’m guessing he was watching “Barely Legal”

  27. Javert says:

    It does not mean he sat there and, um, watched for 16 hours..he ordered 16 hours worth. Probably bought one…one scene, no good…order next and so on. Depending on the number of channels available for viewing pleasure, he might have racked this up in a relatively short period of time.

  28. Joedragon says:

    The Comcast explanation was that the previous renter of the box may have set reminders, which is amazingly forward thinking for the man who orders “Gigantic Asses”. sounds like comcarp did not reset the box or did it half-ass and the same movie was stuck and after it was done it did not remove it from the PPV list.

    any way Beavis and Butt-head did this with PPV moives in one of the episodes

  29. Wormfather is Wormfather says:

    @MayorBee: “…And to think, I’m good after 3 minutes.”

    This is not the place for your boasting and bragging.

  30. Atsumi says:

    @MayorBee: He’s a real marathoner.

    You should be jealous.

  31. SkyeBlue says:

    Easy to get a laugh out of it……well anyways…….until “Hormone Boy” is coming over and politely asking you for your permission to take your daughter out on a date.

    It’s kind of scary to think so many young boys are getting their impressions of how girls and women are (and how they want to be treated) from viewing pornography.

  32. nsv says:

    I’d be willing to bet that he ordered $20 worth of porn, but the husband is using this as an excuse: “Gee honey, it must have been that kid who ordered all that porn.”

  33. Trai_Dep says:

    @SkyeBlue: Although, I’m sure that parents were saying the same thing back when Chaucer’s Tales debuted. And to be fair, imagine the expectations that boys must live up – and fail – to once the girls have had their expectations raised.