Here at the Consumerist we get a lot of emails requesting more “happy stories.” While we wait for some to happen, here are 13 headlines we would love to write. They are in no particular order.
- Sears Repairman Buys A Calendar, Looks At It
- Record High Personal Savings Rate Imperils Credit Card Industry Profits
- Person With Consumer Protection Background To Run CPSC
- Best Buy Geek Squad Replaces Your Current Porn With New, Better Porn
- Company Responds To Website’s Fact-Checking Inquiry With Speed And Accuracy
- Do American Airlines’ New Complimentary Hot Fudge Sundaes Come With Too Many Sprinkles?
- Wal-Mart Receipt Checker Shrugs Shoulders, Says, Yeah, We Know It’s Total Bullshit Anyway
- CSRS Complain About Hold Times To Speak With Busy Customers
- Newspaper Wire Service Quotes Consumer News Blog By Name
- Finally Accepting Reality, Microsoft Debuts “Refurbished XBOX 360 Of The Month Club”
- Sprint To Pay Canceling Customers $50 “Sorry We Disappointed You” Refund
- “Help! I Signed Up For FiOS And Verizon Sent Me Too Many Free LCD TVs!”
- Payday Lenders Close Due To Lack Of Interest
(Photo: El Grande Mono )