Adobe: "It Would Have Been A Pleasure To Assist You With This Issue. [Unfortunately, We're Totally Incompetent]"

If you produced expensive, frequently pirated software, you’d probably want the process for buying it to be as easy on the customer as possible, right? If you’re Adobe, not so much. Yet another reader writes in to share her frustrations with trying to buy Adobe’s Dreamweaver.

Our reader writes:

About three weeks ago now, I went to Adobe.com to buy a copy of Dreamweaver CS3 online, as I couldn’t find one locally. As I have Adobe CS2 Premium, I qualified to buy the version that is the upgrade from GoLive to Dreamweaver. So I find this version on their store, add to cart, and buy it.

Problem #1 – While most other versions of Dreamweaver are available as downloads, this one, inexplicably, is not. I’m told it will be shipped in about a week. As I had a trial version of Dreamweaver CS3 installed already, I contacted their live chat system and asked if the serial number could be sent via email or something in advance, so I could get to work. No can do.

I wait – and a week later, the box arrives. I tried the serial number received on the trial version at first. Problem #2 – It cannot find my Adobe CS2 (to verify I qualify for upgrade) even though that had been installed in the standard, default directory. So it asks me to enter the Dreamweaver CS3 serial number, then pick what version I’m upgrading from, and enter the GoLive serial number.

Problem #3 – It tells me the serial number I’m putting in does not match the product I’m upgrading from. This in spite of the fact I copied and pasted it directly from Go Live’s help menu, and also tried typing it in manually several times. (The only thing I can figure, in retrospect, is that since my choices were upgrading from GoLive 6.0, GoLive CS, or GoLive CS2, the fact that I have CS2 Premium was the issue). I tried uninstalling the trial and installing fresh from the CD, but got the same issue.

I surf over to Adobe’s customer support portal, which promises an answer in one business day. I have to register first, of course (grr), but I submit a ticket with all the appropriate information first thing on a Thursday morning.

The following *Tuesday* (six calendar days, four business days later), I get this gem (emphasis added):

Hello ________,

Thank you for contacting Adobe Customer Service.

Due to the Support Portal being closed on weekends [?!], we were unable to
respond to your e-mail. We sincerely regret any inconvenience this may
have caused and appreciate your patience.

________, I understand that you purchased the upgrade version of
Dreamweaver CS3 (serial number). As you already had the
trial version of CS3 installed, you took the serial number from the box
that arrived and put it in. It accepted that, but then asked you to
verify that you was eligible to upgrade. You went to your copy of GoLive
CS2, and copied the Serial Number directly out of Help>System Info and
pasted that in to the CS3 dialogue, but it is telling you that the
GoLive CS2 number does not match what you have selected. You tried
selecting Go Live 6.0, GoLive CS and GoLive CS2 and it does not allow
you to proceed under any circumstances.

I understand your concern with this issue and apologize for the
inconvenience caused.

It would have been a pleasure to assist you with this issue. In this
regard, I would request you to contact Adobe Customer Service phone
support at 1 (800) 833-6687 from 6:00am to 8:00pm, PT, 7 days a week.
This is not an issue that can be resolved through this portal and they
are best equipped to handle such issues. They will provide you step by
step assistance through this issue…”

Problem #4: It’s taken their customer service portal nearly a week to tell me … they can’t provide any customer service.

I grit my teeth and call the 1800 number. I called at 11:45 EST, and after the first five minutes, put the phone on hands free, so I could at least work while I listen to the dreadful hold music. I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And at precisely 1:07 EST… I was … disconnected.

As I’ve had this happen after lengthy hold times with other companies, I suspect this some sort of slate-clearing standard procedure.

I write into the portal, politely, but firmly, to complain about this, and request that one of their reps call ME instead. I suggested that since I’d been waiting a week’s shipping time, six days “customer service portal” time, and an hour and 20 minutes hold time to get what should have been a straightforward purchase, that they had a deadline of the following Monday to get it sorted.

I get:

“Hello _______,

Thank you for contacting Adobe Customer Service.

_______, thank you for your reply.

I understand your concern with this issue and apologize for the
inconvenience caused.

It would have been a pleasure to assist you with this issue. In this
regard, I would request you to contact Adobe Customer Service phone
support at 1 (800) 833-6687 from 6:00am to 8:00pm, PT, 7 days a week.
This is not an issue that can be resolved through this portal and they
are best equipped to handle such issues. They will provide you step by
step assistance through this issue…”

So here I am. Please warn your readers (again) to stay away from Adobe; meanwhile, I’m off to issue a chargeback request to my credit card company, and to shop for something else.

We’ve written about Adobe not being able to actually sell its software before. Twice. These stories are only a fraction of the complaints we get about Adobe. Adobe, if you wonder why your software is so popular on bittorrent, here’s one reason: Even the people who want to buy it can’t get it from you. Here are some email addresses for Adobe’s executives, hopefully they can help: rburgess@adobe.com, cboesenberg@adobe.com, selop@adobe.com, igiffen@adobe.com, sgomo@adobe.com, harris@adobe.com, dlucas@adobe.com, bnelson@adobe.com, snakama@adobe.com, efoley@adobe.com, ushike@adobe.com, mrozen@adobe.com, sofferma@adobe.com.

(Photo: Getty)