Warning: There Are Scorpions In The Walmart Produce Department

12-year-old Megan Templeton was shopping with her father for some watermelons and hamburgers for their Memorial Day cook-out when she was stung by a stowaway scorpion that had made a home in the produce section of her local Walmart.

From the Charleston Daily Mail:

The Milton Middle School student jerked her hand out of the produce box to find a stinger in her finger and a tan, 1-inch-long creature still attached, William said.

The girl turned to her father and said something he at first didn’t believe.

“She said a scorpion stung her on the finger,” William, 36, said. “I didn’t believe her at first, but then I saw it run underneath (the box).”

William said he immediately called his wife, Paula, who is a paramedic, and told her what had happened.

Paula drove to the store, picked up Megan and rushed her to nearby Cabell-Huntington Hospital.

William said before his wife had even arrived, Wal-Mart employees were on the scene and helped scoop up the exotic arachnid so it could be taken to the hospital for identification purposes.

William said he also peeled a sticker off a watermelon showing the shipment was from Mexico, which he hoped could help hospital workers treat his daughter.

The sting was harmless, but it caused a stir at the West Virginia hospital where Megan was treated. No one had ever seen a scorpion sting before. “They had to look it up on the Internet because it is so unusual in the area,” Megan’s father said. “Everybody came down to look at it.” Walmart says they’ll be checking that watermelon shipment for more scorpions– just in case.

12-year-old W.Va. girl gets scorpion bite in the produce department [Charleston Daily Mail]
(Photo: babasteve )


Edit Your Comment

  1. ghank says:

    I used to work in a produce department, and some of the bugs that came in the banana boxes looked like they came out of a horror movie. I’m thankful that I live in Canada where the cold winters prevent these creatures from surviving.

  2. snoop-blog says:

    I know somehow, people will find a way to blame wal-mart. This is nothing new. Shit like this happens and it is NO ONES fault. The good news is that at least the little girl is ok.

  3. B says:

    Free scorpion with every purchase! People complain about everything.

  4. hayisforhorses says:

    Its pretty common knowledge (maybe not to a 12 year old) that fruit imports can contain exotic critters, even if they arent in the packaging i know that some species lay eggs inside fruits. Yes surprising it doesnt happen often, but its hardly anyones fault, just happened that Megan was in that unfortunate percentage!

  5. cef21 says:

    This is one of the downsides to globalization. It’s a great thing to be able to get produce way out of the local season. But, at the same time, the long-distance shipping sometimes contains unintended products as well. Consider Zebra Mollusks and Crazy Ants.

    This could have easily been Wholefoods, Safeway, Publix or any other grocery store. Heck, even many “farm stands” are selling food from a long distance — you folks in Pennsylvania didn’t really think it’s corn season yet, did you?

  6. boss_lady says:

    @ghank: Safeway, produce department, bananas, middle of winter in Canada still somehow equal black widow spider.

  7. IphtashuFitz says:

    Every once in a while there’s a local news story about somebody finding a black widow spider inside a bunch of grapes or other produce. Frankly I’m not surprised that scorpions would stow away in this manner as well. As snoop-blog points out this really isn’t Walmarts fault. It could happen to just about anybody in any store where produce is imported.

  8. Andr0 says:

    I have to agree with snoop-blog – at least, I myself prefer an occasional bug in my fruit to a glossy, sterile-gleaming coat of wax and pesticides that definitely take ‘healthy’ out of fruit.

    Off on a tangent, my grandfather’s rule when shopping for fruit on farmers’ markets: Always look for the vendor whose produce has an occasional ‘bad apple’ or a worm-hole…

  9. Phantom_Photon says:

    I used to work in a product department, and we used to get all sorts of scary “hitchhikers” in boxes of produce. Giant spiders and scorpions in the bananas, weird looking things from Asia in the lychee nuts, “walking stick” insects lots of the boxes from central america…. most would be dead from being gassed at the border, but every once in a while a live one would get through…

  10. loganmo says:


    Don’t you mean, “free scorpion with completed application for a Walmart credit card” ?

  11. sysak says:

    It sounds like walmart handled the situation well.

  12. Parting says:

    Couple of years ago, there was a local story where poisonous spiders were found in grape shipments all over the country. No one was hurt, and I’m glad that long winters give 0% chance of survival to these critters.

  13. laserjobs says:

    Another reason Wal-Mart is evil. Scorpions stinging children, soon this will be a normal occurance at Wal-Mart. People need to make a decision to stay away from this evil corporation before someone gets killed.

  14. Darkwish says:

    Damn! Now I actually WANT to go to WallyWorld to try to get me a pet scorpion!

  15. donkeyjote says:

    Walmart’s just too cheap to spring for full-cargo radiation cleansing…

  16. Grouper Sandwich says:

    I might prefer to be stung by a Scorpion than to have one rock me like a hurricane.

  17. wgrune says:

    “They had to look it up on the Internet because it is so unusual in the area,”

    Please god tell me they at least used a medical site and didn’t just type in “brown scorpion” into wikipedia…

  18. Tremblor says:

    I used to work at a supermarket and one day in a box of bananas we found a black widow (dead. They usually gas the fruit during shipment for that reason).We kept her in a jar as a trophy.

    Another day someone opened a box of something (i forget what it was) and found a North American Bear Spider on her brood of eggs. She was alive and none to happy about being woken up…

  19. LintySoul says:

    The most interesting things I’ve found while working in a produce department were a local tree frog inside a box of local organic salad mix, and a slightly duct-taped knife with a four or five inch blade. The knife was in a banana box.

  20. homerjay says:

    What is a 12-year old doing touching all the watermelons? Keep your hands off my scorpion fruit, missy.
    Blame the customer FTW! :)

  21. chartrule says:


    black widow spiders are native to southern ontario
    i use to see them all the time before moving north

  22. heavylee-again says:

    While Wifey and I were honeymooning in Belize, I was stung twice by a scorpion. It was a little scary, even for me as a grown adult. Fortunately, it was not a poisonous variety, but my mouth was numb (like I had gotten novocaine from the dentist) for about 18 hours and the sting area was very painful for a couple days.

  23. humphrmi says:

    A beautiful bunch a’ripe banana
    Hide thee Deadly black tarantula

  24. LeJerk says:

    IphtashuFitz: “As snoop-blog points out this really isn’t Walmarts fault. It could happen to just about anybody in any store where produce is imported.”

    As IphtashuFitz points out, YOU AREN’T SAFE ANYWHERE!

  25. Balisong says:

    I don’t know about West Virginia, but there are scorpians in the southeast. My friend’s mother was stung by one in South Carolina. Are they really that “exotic” in WV?

  26. ChuckECheese says:

    After finding a scorpion crawling across my face in the middle of the night in Oklahoma many years ago, I learned from an entomologist that nearly every state in the U.S. has native scorpions, with only 3 or 4 exceptions.

  27. Pro-Pain says:

    I’m glad the girl in ok. Bet that was scary for a few hours though. Wal-Mart not to blame here, it was a rare accident. I wonder if the Scorpion sang “Rock You Like A Hurricane” for them…

  28. graymulligan says:

    I saw “west virginia” and “walmart” and it sort of threw me into a mental picture of a backwoods hospital with a Tandy 486 logged into wikipedia. Is that bad?

  29. cmdrsass says:

    Scorpions in my watermelon? It’s more likely than you think.

  30. BlackBirdTA says:

    Since when are scorpions “exotic”? Where I live everyone checks their shoes and clothing before putting them on. Also their beds before getting in. Actually there aren’t as many here as there used to be. One theory is that the fire ants ran them off. Guess they moved to West Virginia. And they feel right at home in Wal-Mart.

  31. samurailynn says:

    All this talk about stowaway spiders and scorpions has my skin crawling. I love fresh produce, but I’m afraid I’ll be a little jumpy when I go to the grocery store tonight.

  32. smallestmills says:

    Someone work with this…the Scorpions album is called “Virgin Killers.” I haven’t had my coffee yet. Oh yeah, and after these bug-produce stories, I’m never buying produce again.

  33. timmus says:

    Not surprising — much of northern Mexico and southwest Texas has scorpions in abundance, and there is major watermelon production in those areas. Interestingly it’s pretty well known that citrus groves seem to breed scorpions in abundance. The stories are notorious about scorpion problems in Phoenix and in Florida in locations where orange groves have been torn down and replaced with apartments and houses. I’m not sure why that is, but I’d be careful around the oranges and limes too.

  34. Skankingmike says:

    “was it a big scorpion? good, when it comes to Scorpion the bigger the better.” – Dr. Jones

  35. Nighthawke says:

    Jumping spiders are the norm here in South Texas. Fun to watch, but for the phobias, not fun at all. These little fellows are VERY brave and quite friendly.

    I knew of one phobic gal that had one land her nose, playing Banzai Buggy with her. I can imagine the look on her face as her eyes crossed, the little guy peering back at her saying, “Hi! Marry me?”.

  36. timmus says:

    @heavylee-again (“Fortunately, it was not a poisonous variety, but my mouth was numb”): Umm, of course it was poisonous — where else do you think the neurotoxic symptoms came from?

  37. Not a big bug fan. I’d probably stand there screaming and pointing until they had to send the men in the white coats to take me away.

    But that’s just me.

  38. REAL-Mom says:

    I was impressed that the employees thought quickly so they could capture the scorpion so more research could be done for the treatment of that 12 year old girl!! Kudos Walmart!! Fast thinking on the dad’s part too! Kudos Dad!! Because of alot of fast thinking people this story has a happy ending! I have children who enjoy shopping for produce with me as well, we have sortof a race to see who can pick the best watermelon based on the what sound it makes when you tap the watermelon, and how many bee sting marks are on the rind, after reading this story we will have to make some changes! :(

  39. nursetim says:

    That was the first thing I thought of when I read the headline.

  40. Kajj says:

    @timmus: Umm, heavylee was clearly using “poisonous” in the common-English “kill-you-dead” sense and not the nitpicky clinical sense you’re insisting on. Language usage changes with context. Try to keep up.

  41. Chongo says:

    you guys would be suprised to know what comes in the boxes of most dehydrated vegetables (basically everything that is inside ramen noodles, or tv dinners). I used to have to sift out the bugs after the boxes went to some kind of radiation treatment. Stay away from dehydrated cilantro and parsley!

  42. captadam says:

    I used to be a supermarket produce lackey too, and I saw lots of interesting things: muddy lettuce, bugs, a piece of a wooden fence post in a 50-pound burlap bag of roasted peanuts. The horrors of fresh produce!

  43. Juggernaut says:

    I am the Scorpion King! All bow down before me!

  44. Lambasted says:

    Bugs and insects hide in everything. Finding bugs in produce is hardly just a Walmart problem. There is a reason why U.S. Customs bans people from bringing in various types of plants, produce and other items that may harbor creatures.

  45. rachaeljean says:

    @Skankingmike: Hahaha! I thought of that too!!!

  46. kylenalepa says:

    @heavylee-again: That means it was poisonous.

    @Kajj: I’ve never heard anybody use the word “poisonous” exclusively in the “kill you” sense. Try to keep up.

  47. Bonus protein!

  48. MissPeacock says:

    @Skankingmike: I was JUST about to post this same thing! :)

  49. B says:

    @IphtashuFitz: Wasn’t that the plot of the movie Arachnophobia?

  50. Burgandy says:

    @graymulligan: This is the type of comment that is going to lead to me buying a new monitor for work. (Giving up the coffee isn’t an option).

  51. backbroken says:

    In other news, US Airways is announcing that each passenger that has ever been bitten by a scorpion will have to pay a ‘previously bitten by a scorpion’ fee of $25 per flight.

  52. Gopher bond says:

    Here’s another former produce worker and I’d see some strange creatures in nearly every shipment. Half-dead bats, spiders the size of frisbees, bugs that you couldn’t tell what the heck they were. I don’t know how many time some weird “The Thing” type creature scuttled out of a banana box under a pallet somewhere in the warehouse, filling my underwear with pee.

    I just shrugged my shoulders and hoped there wasn’t any environmental dangers.

  53. a_brown-eyed_grrl says:

    I live in Texas, so scorpions are far from “exotic” to me. The whole time I’m thinking, “Why did they rush her to a hospital? Was she allergic or something?”

    I guess if you don’t know anything about them, it makes sense. I’ve been stung, though, and it doesn’t even warrant a trip to the Walgreens, let along the doctor. Yeah, it hurts, but then it stops hurting. It’s weird to me that this is even news.

  54. donkeyjote says:

    @backbroken: Zing!

  55. TPS Reporter says:

    I grew up in Phoenix and we messed around with black widow spiders and scorpions all the time. The worst were the big fire ants. If one of those suckers got a hold of you, it hurt like heck, and it was hard to get them to release. We would pour gas down the ant hill and light them on fire.

  56. Everybody’s talking about Wal-Mart – how about the hospital that had to look up “scorpion sting” on the internet to treat the patient? :)

  57. eben56 says:

    Didn’t see anything in the OP that BLAMED Walmart, as a matter of fact what I read was that there was an excellent RESPONSE from Walmart.
    These type of stories have little to do with the actual store and more to do with how the USFDA inspects shipments.

  58. linbey says:

    This is why I only eat meat and pasta. No veggies for me

  59. Ein2015 says:

    Hey it’s nice to see that the employees scooped up the scorpion to be helpful!

  60. IrisMR says:

    Unrelated to wal-mart… Gosh that happens often to any grocery! I remember a scare around here about big bad spiders in grapes!

  61. @eben56:

    Didn’t see anything in the OP that BLAMED Walmart, as a matter of fact what I read was that there was an excellent RESPONSE from Walmart.

    I’m not sure if you were directing this at me or not, but in case, I wasn’t saying Wally World did something wrong – I think they handled it really well. But I think it’s funny nobody’s talking at all about the hospital.

  62. MadameX says:

    @MrBill38: Agreed. I live in the Phoenix area and I know dozens of people who have been stung by scorpions. Most of them say it doesn’t hurt any worse than a bee sting.

    I’ve lived here 24 years and have never seen one outside of the zoo.

    Knock on wood.

  63. urban_ninjya says:

    I associate scorpians with either desterts or mortal kombat. Don’t really think I’ve seen water melons grown in either one of those regions.

    I’m surprised no one has found bullets in their produce yet, especially bananas. I saw a special on how chocolate is made, they have to run magnets over their chocolates to filter out stray bullets shot by Guirella rebels in the southern america region.

  64. Angryrider says:

    When I was a kid, I read some weird scifi book based on regular society, that’s how I learned about critters in produce. One should always be careful.

  65. jetman says:

    I live in Arizona and find scorpions all the time in my house. Big deal its not Wal-Mart’s fault, the risk you take buying produce is bugs and insecticides on or in them. A scorpion sting is no worse the a bee sting ( i have been stung five times). I am glad the child is OK but is this really news? If I get stung by a bee at subway do I post that here. Come on lets clean up The Consumerist and post legit items that are not a waste of time.

  66. LUV2CattleCall says:

    Crap! Any word on how this has affected fried chicken and cornbread sales?

  67. Pink Puppet says:

    @jetman: I was under the impression that, like spiders, scorpions of different sorts had varying levels of lethality.

    Beyond that, perhaps you would be happier skipping over the stories you do not enjoy? The headline was pretty blatant, you really could have gathered what you needed without hitting the jump.

  68. a_brown-eyed_grrl says:

    @pinkpuppet–My guess is that jetman, like, me, was waiting for the “news” part of the story. I thought there had to be more to it that a girl being stung by a scorpion, so I kept reading. I thought maybe it was poisonous, or she was admitted to the hospital, or it was some rare species. I was stung twice by the same scorpion, but that didn’t make the front page of MSN.com.

  69. pegr says:

    Blog posts should be just like scorpions, quick with a sting in the tail!

  70. I was stung by a scorpion about 2 years ago here in phoenix. Firstly, if you can SEE the scorpion, and can tell it’s a scorpion, it’s sting doesn’t hurt that badly. The smaller the scorpion, the more concentrated the poison, the more painful the sting. I was stung by a scorpion the size of this dash >>> – …. I thought it was a breadcrumb on my pants, went to brush it off and it got me on the finger. For me it was way more painful than a bee sting, more painful than a wasp sting, way more painful that the time I was stung by a big scorpion, and I’ve got a very high tolerance for pain. It was more painful than when my big toe was partially severed and left dangling and mangled on an amusement park ride. For 10 minutes that sting felt like when you get a sliver of glass lodged under your skin and then you press hard on it. Then within 15 minutes my entire arm was numb up to the shoulder. It took a week for the numbness to wear off… a full week of the pins and needles as it wore off was awful, everytime I bumped my arm it would reverberate with pain. Was Yucky, I Did Not Like.

    Luckily, as another said, scorpions (at least on the american continent-not sure about the middle-east) don’t kill you unless you have an allergic reaction to the poison.

  71. chrisjames says:

    Is this a humorous post? The daughter gets stung, and the dad calls his wife? His wife rushes to the store to take the daughter to the hospital? I can imagine the exchange that took place:

    Mom- “What the hell? Why are you still there?! Get my daughter to a hospital now you …”
    Dad- “I better ask Walmart employees for help.”

    And pulling off the sticker?

    Doctor- “Could you describe the scorpion?”
    Dad- “I didn’t get a good look, but I know it was from Mexico. The watermelons were from Mexico.”
    Doctor- “Are you sure?”
    Dad- “There were stickers on them saying they were from Mexico.”
    Doctor- “I’ll need to see one of those stickers…”

    Actually, I would have acted the same way, but panicking people can make for a good show.

  72. backbroken says:

    The only real news in this article is that hospitals in West Virginia have internet access.

  73. DeafChick says:

    Don’t stores usually clean their produce? I mean my local Safeway just turn on the hose and give the produce a quick spray before stocking.

  74. mariospants says:

    That’s nothing. We found a whole Mexican family hiding in the fruit section last week.

  75. sncreducer says:


    Congratulations on the most hysterical, overreacting headline in Consumerist history. You must be so proud.

    Oh, I forgot “inaccurate” – there aren’t scorpionS in the produce department, or at least if there are, you have offered exactly zero proof of that allegation.

    The tone of Consumerist has gotten obnoxiously snarky and relentlessly anti-business since I started reading it a couple of years ago. I don’t have a problem with you chastising companies for their bad behavior, but when EVERY issue is presented as a horrific tragedy, the work of an evil corporation, it severely undermines your credibility. Do you want to do something to improve relations between customers and business, or do you just want to be the smartass kid in the corner who has a sarcastic retort to everything but DOES exactly nothing?

  76. Paladin_11 says:


    The mom was an on-duty paramedic. She had an ambulance at her disposal.

    For all the ripping we do on Wal-Mart here, this is a case where they deserve to be praised. Their employees did exactly the right thing. Given that the fruit was imported there was no reason to assume that the scorpion was harmless. The watermelons may have come from Mexico but they were likely warehoused with produce from all over the planet. The scorpion could have come from anywhere.

    I guess the bottom line is that this is a Consumerist story about a “good company”. It just blows a few minds that it involves Wal-Mart.

  77. backbroken says:

    @sncreducer: 1 vote for smartass. The other thing sounds hard.

  78. nycaviation says:

    In high school I worked in the produce section of an NYC supermarket. Never met a scorpion, but did find the occasional black widow spider crawling about, usually in grapes from California. One time we caught one and put it in a container with a bigger but less lethal looking spider, expecting the black widow dispatch him easily despite the size difference. After a standoff which lasted a few days, we came in one morning to find the bigger spider had eaten most of the black widow!

  79. Chrome says:


    As a health care provider in the state of West Virginia, your ignorance and attitudes towards health care in WV is troubling.

    West Virginia has two large medical communities that are world class. Charleston Area Medical Centers in Charleston was ranked in the top 50 of cardiology and cardiac surgery on the US News List of best hospitals.

    In Morgantown, there is even a larger medical community with Monongalia Health Systems, Ruby-McQuain Hosptial, West Virginia University Hospitals, Mylan Pharmaceuticals and many other satellite care providers.


  80. LUV2CattleCall says:


    As someone who got in a car accident in WV, I can vouch for the health care there being some of the best I have received! Of course, when everyone shares the same gene-pool, it’s much easier to target treatment :)!


    By the way, good job on splitting Health Care into two words…it amazes me how many medical providers insist on it being one word…

  81. gravedi66er says:

    @ graymulligan and LUV2CattleCall
    I wondered how far down I would have to read before seeing the obligatory backwoods, incest comments posted by a couple of jagoffs like yourselves. It never fails.

  82. CharlieInSeattle says:

    Only about 25 of the 1,500 known species of scorpions can deliver stings that are fatal to humans. And most of these potentially lethal scorpions can’t kill healthy adults, although their neurotoxins can cause such troubling symptoms as convulsions and shortness of breath. Infants and the elderly are most at risk of dying once stung by the deadliest species, though a few scorpions-such as the Death Stalker (Leiurus quinquestriatus) of North and Southwest Africa-are potent enough to fell even physically fit stingees, depending on the victim’s innate tolerance for the venom.

    Of the 80 species in the United States, only one, the Arizona bark scorpion (Centruroides excilicauda), is considered lethal. (The name is a slight misnomer; the species is also found in the deserts of California and Utah.) But there is an effective antivenin available for the treatment of this scorpion’s stings, and there hasn’t been a fatality in Arizona in over 40 years.

  83. oregongal says:

    @CharlieInSeattle: I can’t vouch for the antivenin for this nasty creature but I can tell you the sting is much worse than ANY bee sting I’ve ever had. Living in AZ for nearly 3 years in the late 90’s, I was stung 6 times. The first 3 times I had to go to ER for treatment. Truly the only way I can describe the pain would akin to having Liquid Draino injected into your body (or at least how I would imagine it feeling). All 6 times it was a bark scorpion. I swear those lil bastards would stalk me just waiting for me to let my guard down. Ewwwwwwwwww Owwwwwwwww Yuck!

  84. Skunky says:

    @testsicles: “I don’t know how many time some weird “The Thing” type creature scuttled out of a banana box under a pallet somewhere in the warehouse, filling my underwear with pee.”

    Dude, if I found anything other than me “filling my underwear with pee,” I’d be panicing too! XD

  85. ZekeSulastin says:

    @sncreducer: Thank you for articulating exactly what I was thinking.

    Good job on Wal-Mart’s part, at least.

  86. thelushie says:

    @snoop-blog: This happened around where I live and in the local report, they said that the Walmart staff was very quick to respond and did a great job. The Walmart this happened at is one of the better ones in the area.

    @InfiniTrent: Ummm, because this is not Arizona and scorpion stings are next to nonexistent in this area. Cabell Huntington has a great cancer treatment center and is a good hospital. St. Marys Hospital on the other side of Huntington is one of the best stroke treatment centers in the region.

    @Chrome: I had a car accident in Morgantown and I can say that the trauma center at Ruby Memorial is great.

  87. humphrmi says:

    @oregongal: The two bark scorpions (Arizona and Striped Bark Scorpions) are indeed the deliverers of the most painful stings of the scorpion family. They are, however, like their cousins, mostly non-toxic. In fact, at one time AZ Bark Scorpion stings were so common that enough antivenin was produced to effectively administer a dose to each resident of the State of Arizona. However since then the antivenin isn’t produced anymore due to lack of toxicity.

    Another bit of trivia, despite being common in the US Southwest they are in fact unable to survive in dry climates and only picked up residence there as houses were built and lawn watering provided them with a moist place to live. But dry up the environment around your home, and they can’t reproduce.

  88. I’m impressed with the employees for being attentive enough to capture the scorpion and render assistance. Despite being not a big fan of WM, these guys (and perhaps their managers) deserve recognition for (A) having employee(s) around in the first place, since we all know how tough it can be to find help in a store that big, (B) being so helpful, and (C) not trying to make the kid or parents sign paperwork, like what we read about last week at Kmart.

  89. invader-zim says:

    I’m certainly no fan of Walmart, but this is definitely not unheard of in grocery. I’ve seen scorpions walking down the aisles of grocery stores. They’re especially common in oranges. I’m really not sure what a store can do to protect against this. It is completely unreasonable to expect a store to sort through each piece of fruit on the off chance of finding a scorpion or spider, and you cant put poisons in it… It’s rare, but it happens.

    If the store is willing to pay for hospital bills, then I think it should be sufficient. They really cant prevent such events, and they certainly did not check the “include scorpion” box when they ordered the produce. The employees are in just as much danger of getting stung as the customers.

  90. rainday says:

    The headline on this story is alarmist. Come on consumerist, you’re better than that!

  91. mikelotus says:

    @cef21: except there are scorpions in Florida and Texas too where we grow lots of watermelons.

    @Tremblor: black widow as a trophy? they are very common in the south. i took a live one i caught in my back yard into high school. black widows are rarely deadly unless you are allergic to the venom.

    @a_brown-eyed_grrl: There are scorpions from other parts of the world whose sting can be very serious. Also the ones in Texas have a venom that effects the brain and causes people to say mindless things I gather.

    @Chrome: Do you know that cows have legs that are shorter on one side in West Virginia so they can use the pastures there? What is a female virgin in West Virginia? A girl that can out run her brothers.

  92. Chrome says:

    Classy mikelotus. Real classy.


  93. LUV2CattleCall says:

    @mikelotus: I don’t get the cows with shorter legs one…please explain..I want to laugh! What stereotype is that playing on?

  94. mikelotus says:

    @LUV2CattleCall: West Virginia is the most mountainous state in the US. In Charleston you either go up or down to get in your drive way. When I was in college, girls from Romney WV would drive 70 miles one way to flag for the Virginia Highway Department since flaggers in Virginia make more than the average person with no college degree in WV. WV is the only state east of the Mississippi that is loosing population. The airport into Charleston is on the top of a mountain that has had the top blasted and leveled off because there is no flat land around for an airport. They do the same to mine for coal now in WV and hardly anyone notices!

    Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.

    Do you know what a third grader is in West Virginia? Gifted

  95. birdwatcher3 says:

    I was bitten by a very tiny spider that was on a bunch of bananas in a very upscale grocery a few years back. It left me with a painful rash that spread slowly for about three months. Had to see a tropical diseases specialist and was told that this sort of thing is much more common than most people realize. Unless we load our food with toxic insecticides it is easy for a bug to sneak in. I’m just more careful now when buying produce.

  96. a_brown-eyed_grrl says:

    @mikelotus–“There are scorpions from other parts of the world whose sting can be very serious.” Yeah, genius, from OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD. Not this part. My point, since it obviously went over your big head, is that this scorpion sting wasn’t serious. I’m well-aware that some species are poisonous, as I stated in my second post. This one was not, so where is the story?

    Maybe you should read my posts carefully before you try to be so clever.

    • ghstomahawks says:


      Perhaps the story wasn’t that she was poisoned (as she clearly wasn’t), but that they were shopping for dinner and ended up with a traumatic experience and trip to the hospital.

      Clearly it’s not the story it would have been, but I think we can all agree that it’s a good thing that it’s not.

  97. LUV2CattleCall says:


    Gotcha! The other jokes were great…but somehow poking fun of them for having a lot of mountains isn’t offensive enough for my tastes! So I’m assuming you went to College in WV? If so, humor-prudes should stfu!

  98. mikelotus says:

    @a_brown-eyed_grrl: i’m sorry, i thought we were talking about the girl’s sting from a scorpion evidently from mexico. did not realize we were talking about your sting. but then you are from texas. nuff said.

  99. a_brown-eyed_grrl says:

    @mikelotus–Are you really that dense, or are you purposefully missing the point I’ve reiterated three times now? NO POISONOUS SCORPION. NO SERIOUS INJURY. NO “NEWS” STORY. If she was seriously injured, okay, there’s a story. Lots of people are stung by basically harmless scorpions. It sucks, but it’s not news.

    I hope that helps it to finally sink in because I’m running out of ways to explain it to you.

    Way to try and insult me because I’m Texan, smart guy. Maybe if it had been halfway clever or funny, it would have been more effective. Something to think about before you make yourself look like more of a moron.

  100. mikelotus says:

    @a_brown-eyed_grrl: as I said, the venom has caused you permanent damage I am afraid.

  101. a_brown-eyed_grrl says:

    What an insightful post and a great away to avoid having to address the point. I guess you really are that dense.