Reader K’s call to Dell tech support for his laptop resulted in the tech helping him break a different computer, then sending him a replacement laptop full of human pubic hair. After diagnosing a faulty power adapter with K’s laptop, the Dell technician asked him to plug the malfunctioning adapter into his other, out-of-warranty Dell to confirm the problem. K was reluctant, but complied, and fried his old laptop in the process. To their credit, Dell offered a replacement; unfortunately, it had a full bush. Full email, with picture, below (photo is NSFL: Not Safe For Lunch).

So I rarely resort to complaints as I think I am an easygoing consumer, but this time Dell went over the line. Maybe I just needed to write this email to vent, but I think it may be worth a post on your site…

Recently my 1 year old Dell laptop stopped charging the battery, so I called technical support (still under 3 year warranty) to try to resolve the issue. The technician recommended trying to plug another Dell power adapter into the laptop to see if this was the problem, and surprisingly it worked – problem solved…send me a new power adapter and I’ll be on my way.

Unfortunately here things took bad turn. The technician thought that it would be a good idea to try the faulty power adapter in my other Dell laptop just to confirm that this was the problem. I told him that this laptop was no longer under warranty and that I didn’t really want to mess with anything else since we had already resolved the issue. He said that we had to confirm this before he could authorize a new adapter being sent to me. So I plug it in and ZAP! Burning smell, and my old laptop was fried – nothing could revive it. At this point I was worried the technician would hang up, but to their credit they stayed on the line and after about an hour finally agreed to replace my old laptop. At this point, I was rather satisfied despite all of the problems – I was getting a new replacement for my old laptop.

About a week later, I get my “new” Dell laptop. I open the case, and the instruction manual is bent out of shape, and I start to worry. I reach the bottom of the box, pull out the laptop, and first thing I see is the top is covered in scratches. Some people may say that I should be happy since I was getting a newer model laptop to replace an old laptop with no warranty. My old laptop, however, was in great condition. When I opened up the new laptop, I saw the screen was scratched and dirty, and the keyboard was covered in debris. Wait, not debris….what is that? HAIRS!? Not just any hairs – these could only be described as pubes. I hate to be so crude, but pubes are pubes. Not the incidental curly hair, but rather mini-tufts between the keys. My only guess is that Ron Jeremy was the previous owner. At this point, I called Dell back, and I have written this email in between talking to 3 different people and over an hour of hold time. Nobody wants to help, and I’m reached the limits of my tolerance for poor service.

At this point, I’m considering 3 options:

1. Vacuum it, douse it in alcohol, and just try to use it and forget about “the hedgehog”

2. Sell it and buy a new laptop

3. Go to the gym, run 3 miles, trim body hair directly over the keyboard, send laptop back to dell (this is the cleaned up version)

Any other ideas?

Well, although Dell may not be listening to Executive Email Carpet Bombs anymore, it doesn’t hurt to try. Here is a bunch of Dell email addresses, here are some more, and here is one more. Include pictures of the fuzz factory in your email, hopefully it will gross someone out enough to get you a replacement.

(“Free Human Hair” Photo: Kevin Dean)

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