This Pizza Pizza Slice Came With A Free Tube Of Vaseline

Torontoist reader Charles claims to have received a used tube of Vaseline with his bagged slice of vegetarian pizza. He wrote:

Yes, this is how the slice came: a used and soiled “Convenience Size” bottle of Vaseline moisturizer, as found in a Pizza Pizza, bagged slice of pizza; purchased in-store at 8:30PM (EST) 23 February 2008, Yonge St near Bloor St (Toronto, Canada).

Charles and his two friends thought the tube was a prank—our first reaction, too—and called Pizza Pizza to complain. They were promptly offered a free small pizza and an investigation.

How could that even happen? A hair, fine, whatever. A fake eyebrow, ok, it’s getting late. But a whole !@#$ tube of Vaseline? Seriously, how do you not notice that? Gross.

Dame Mas Vaselina [Torontoist]
(Photo: Charles DH Crosbie)


Edit Your Comment

  1. mikeluisortega says:

    If he used a credit card he could of made a charge back. ;)

  2. homerjay says:

    Oh give me a break. You get a free prize with your Cocoa Pebbles and you’re all excited. You get a free price with your pizza and suddenly its ‘gross!’

  3. SarcasticDwarf says:

    ok, how is the bottle “soiled” in this case? Sounds like the guy is writing to make it sound as bad as he could. A NORMAL way of writing it would be “There was an opened bottle of vasaline in the package.”

  4. riverstyxxx says:

    Porn + Pizza = ???

  5. I thought that was how canadians generally eat their pizza.

    now im confused.

  6. riverstyxxx says:


    Milhouse likes vaseline on toast..

  7. laserjobs says:

    @discounteggroll: That IS how Canadians eat thier pizza. I should know I am Canadian!!!
    Is this guy who wrote in a foreigner?

    In the US places like McDonalds give you ketchup packets, how is this any different?

  8. toddiot says:

    Pizza Pizza (winner of the least creative store name, ever) pizza tastes like cardboard, I guess the Vasoline was to soften it up a bit.

  9. sofasleeper says:

    If it wasn’t for white trash and drunk douchebags Pizza Pizza would’ve gone out of business long ago. Next time at least go to Big Slice.

  10. timmus says:

    Isn’t Pizza Pizza the slogan for Little Caesars? At least it was in TV ads about 10 years ago.

  11. Dsmith171 says:

    That’s damn sight better than some of the stuff I saw people put on the pizzas when I worked at a delivery joint in highschool. Tip: Never send a delivered pizza back because something was wrong with it.

  12. forgottenpassword says:

    Oh wow! Is this some kind of nonsubtle warning that someone added “special sauce” to your food?

    I dont understand how this accidentally could have happened. Doesnt make sense.

  13. DeltaPurser says:

    @forgottenpassword: OH, man… that is just sooooo wrong. In soooo many ways! :-) Thanks for the laugh :-) :-) :-)

  14. cdhc says:

    @SarcasticDwarf: Hi, these are my pics and it was my friend who bought the slice. I stupidly used the word “soiled” to try and describe that it was covered in grime, pizza grease and the like.

  15. BugMeNot2 says:

    the pizza still looks good

  16. cdhc says:

    video’s here:

    + Watch video

  17. balthisar says:

    @timmus: Pizza Pizza’s been around since ’67, and Little Caesars started using “Pizza! Pizza!” in 1979. I wonder if our close proximity (the Ilitch’s are from SE Michichan) to Canada had anything to do with the slogan, as it’s not unusual to receive Canadian television here. I grew up with Canadian television not realizing at the time that there was a difference. (Things like “homo milk” aren’t funny to me.)

  18. Typhoid says:

    I guess if an employee had the tube on the same counter that the pizza was bagged in? But why the heck would you be putting on lotion if you work with food?

    Suspicious, but ookey all the same. Blech.

  19. Tallanvor says:

    Step 1: Porn
    Step 2: Pizza
    Step 3: Profit

    Finally, we know what step 2 is in the process!

  20. That’s pretty disgusting.

  21. savager says:

    credit cards are evil… unrelated

  22. cdhc says:

    @savager: He used Interac

  23. yesteryear says:

    stop whining! its called a “free gift with purchase”. clinique and lancome have been doing it for years.

  24. B says:

    @riverstyxxx: He don’t use jelly, he don’t use jam. He uses vaseline.

  25. amoeba says:

    I’ve got Lemon without my request, I’ve got hair (from the head) on my food. How come I’ve never get strange things when I order something? BTW It is gross! They should had given him a large pizza instead a small one.

  26. B says:

    If this was Johnny Rockets, they would have charged extra for the vaseline.

  27. ideagirl says:

    Cue “It is obviously the customer’s fault” comments in 5…4…3…2…1

  28. eskimo81 says:

    It is obviously the customers fault.

  29. eskimo81 says:

    (sorry, ideagirl made me say it) :)

  30. rolla says:

    so i guess there’s some “special sauce” on the pizza, if you know what i mean…hahaa

  31. darkclawsofchaos says:

    it was open, it is clearly he fault of management, the guy in the back was wanking off instead off making pizzas, then boss came around and the freaked throwing the vaseline in the bag with his “soiled hands,” but “THIS IS ONLY A TASTE OF things to COME”

  32. magnus150 says:

    Delicious. It was obviously the customers fault for not telling them to hold the vaseline! I always be sure to when ordering a pizza to “hold the lubricants and various body fluids/parts/hair.”

    He should’ve just been happy that he got a free bottle of vaseline with his order, thats like a 5 dollar value!

  33. Happy13178 says:

    They’re not going to do anything. I had a pizza pizza driver screaming f*ck you at me while walking through my building, and never heard a thing about it after complaining to corporate. They have no control over their franchises.

  34. SkyeBlue says:

    I guess if more of us REALLY thought about it, when we eat out we never really know, unless we were to go into the kitchen and check it out personally, what kind of people are preparing our food or in what condition or how clean the kitchen is. Or even if the people back ther might be sick with God knows what.

    It really is something to think about.

  35. walterny says:

    What, Canadians never heard of putting Vaseline on their slice? Makes it go down easier. Also putting the Vaseline on first makes the garlic power stick better. :)

  36. At pizza pizza you watch them pick the slice, put it in the oven, take it out, cut it and put it in the bag. Why wasn’t he paying attention? Half the time they do they fish the wrong kind out of the oven and you have to point it out to them anyway.

    At least the yonge and bloor location has fewer crazies than Church and Wellesley :S

  37. riverstyxxx says:

    Time to go to work,
    Work all day,
    We need porn and pizza hey!
    We won’t stop until we have vaseline!
    Yum tum yummy tum tay!
    Time to go to work,
    Work all night,
    Search for porno yay!
    We won’t stop until we have vaseline!
    Yum tum yummy tum tay!

  38. lovelygirl says:

    EEW :(

  39. azntg says:

    From my last visit to southern Ontario (and Niagara Falls), I must say that I love Canadians. Generally a warm and friendly bunch.

    I think Pizza Pizza added that tube of Vaseline as a courtesy to benefit those who desire an even greasier pizza. Apply liberally! ;-)

  40. Rajio says:

    @k8supergrover: I agree with everything you said.

  41. StevieD says:

    I smell the work of a competitor.

  42. StevieD says:

    As the first sentence says “claims”.

  43. ironchef says:

    file this under the syringe in the coke can level of credibility.

  44. JPropaganda says:

    Is he sure that’s not just a tube of a new creamy garlic sauce?! Pizza Pizza references ftw!

  45. dualityshift says:

    ok. Working and living in Toronto, and having the unfortunate experience of eating at Pizza Pizza before, I call shenanigans on this one, and here’s why:

    At most Pizza Pizza locations in the city (all the outlets I’ve been to) you see the pizza slices in front of you. You choose your flavour, they heat it in the oven, then cut and bag it. This entire process occurs in front of the customer. At no time have I ever seen any employee take a slice away to cut and bag.

    That is the only nice thing about Pizza Pizza; their process is out in the open for you to freely watch.

    This joker most likely put the vaseline on himself.

  46. IrisMR says:

    There’s all kind of wrongs in this…

  47. kable2 says:

    I ordered a pizza at a local place once, me and the wife were eating it in the car at night. Felt what was like hair on a slice. I turned on the dome light and there were pubes in the pizza. The wife puked, i wanted to but couldnt.

    When I went back to the store I showed them the pubes (trust me they were not head hairs). They said they would only give me back the money for about 1/2 the pizza that was left in the box. They told me to be quiet, so I started to walk around showing the pube infested slice to people eating there.

    I dont know what happened when I left, but everyone I showed it to agreed they were pubes and sat there stareing at their pizza they were eating.

    /I got a full refund
    //should have sued them

  48. cde says:

    @dualityshift: Because at no time in the transaction, reheating and bagging does a person look away. You could look at other people, a tv, a noise outside, grab a soda from the fridge, use the bathroom, or call ahead for carryout.

  49. timsgm1418 says:

    thank you for that suggestion, I will remember that in the future when I order food…seriously thanks for the good laugh@magnus150:

  50. dualityshift says:

    First off: In the open, transparent operational concept at Pizza Pizza encourages you to keep an eye on your order. Frankly, anyone who doesn’t watch their food in this type of restaurant get what they deserve.

    Second: Most Drink fridges are behind the counter at Pizza Pizza. Not to say all, but more often than not.

    People who call in for carryout pizza slices are morons.

    I still say this guy set this up himself to see what he could get from Pizza Pizza.

  51. Mr. Gunn says:
  52. The Porkchop Express says:

    I call BS, that’s just too big an item to not be noticed upon picking up the slice. just a little too heavy and too bulky to not be noticed. I mean the box wouldn’t have shut properly (and really don’t you look to makes sure it is the right toppings and such, I know people did when I worked at a pizza joint).
    At the very least it should have never made it out of the store in your hands (or your friend’s hands).

  53. yesteryear says:

    @dualityshift: wow. i’m not saying this guy deserves a settlement, but to blame him is just bizarre. why? i suppose if you bit into a razor blade in the lettuce at a salad bar it would be your fault for not sorting through the entire bowl to be sure there were no hazardous objects, right? i hope you never get appointed to run your local health department.

  54. cde says:

    @dualityshift: I meant pizza shops in general. Most I’ve been two have the soda fridge out front. And you can order an entire pizza at once as well. Very Innovative, I know, but change is not to be feared.

    Oh, so people who order from restaurants where this happens deserve it? I hope you don’t eat anywhere except Pizza Pizza then.

  55. dualityshift says:

    @cde: Oh, so people who order from restaurants where this happens deserve it? I hope you don’t eat anywhere except Pizza Pizza then.

    You missed the point completely. In fact, most of you did. If you eat at establishments like Pizza Pizza, or even McD’s, you can assume some bad things ‘may‘ happen to your food. That’s why I mostly avoid fast food joints. When did I say that people deserve this treatment. You sir, are an ass.

    I still think the customer planted this at home. Let’s use some logic people. Anyone who’s eaten at Pizza Pizza can attest to the process. You order your slice, they plop it in the oven, take it out, cut it in two, bag it and give it to you. All of this done in plain sight. I do believe if your pizza had an unusual bulge in the middle of the bag, you would notice it.

    Could this vaseline have come from the pizza shop? Possibly, but the more realistic truth is that these people were out partying, stopped at the Pizza Pizza before heading back home. Once they got home, the others realized they were hungry, so they tried to (and succeeded in) scamming Pizza Pizza out of a pizza. (C’mon folks! Who doesn’t take a bite out of their hot, fresh slice right away?)

    Anyone who has called Pizza Pizza customer service in the last 15 years knows that if you can verify your order, they pretty much credit your account immediately.

    This article should be titled “How to Scam a Free Pizza in Toronto.”

  56. snoop-blog says:

    is vasoline and pizza the canadian version of american pie?

  57. cde says:

    @dualityshift: 2nd sentence, first paragraph. That’s where you said it, you dickweed.

  58. The Porkchop Express says:

    @Lo-Pan: wait, does this pizza just come in a bag? if that’s the case, you would notice even more that the slice was the wrong shape.

    I’m sticking with BS on this.

  59. dualityshift says:

    No dude. Beer and Back-bacon is the Canadianized apple pie.

  60. dualityshift says:

    @cde: Have you ever been to a Pizza Pizza? It’s crap, and Canadians know it. If you eat somewhere you know is garbage, should you be mad when you get sick from eating it anyways?

    If this vaseline DID come from the Pizza store, the customer was far too stupid to realize something was wrong before he left.

    I was wrong cde. You are a troll, not an ass. I wouldn’t want to offend the other asses out there.

  61. SpecialEd says:

    Found it when they got home?

    BTW, the video really proves their case, right?

    Eat the Vaseline. It’s probably better than the pizza pizza.

  62. cde says:

    @dualityshift: Why would you eat from somewhere you know is garbage? Oh, that’s right, your retarded like that.

  63. dualityshift says:

    @cde: @dualityshift: Why would you eat from somewhere you know is garbage? Oh, that’s right, your retarded like that.

    I don’t eat garbage, but from what spews from your hole, it seems you had a double helping of crap sandwiches.

    It’s unfortunate we have to deal with people like cde, who, it’s obvious, was shunned by his own family because of his cantankerous nature. Mom didn’t drop you on your head as a baby. She threw you, repeatedly.

    @SpecialEd: Only if you’re Rodney King.

  64. Project Thanatos says:

    I think it might have been a subtle way of telling you where you can put that slice.

  65. dualityshift says:

    @Project Thanatos: They should have packed a Magnum in there instead, you know, for STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Ingredients).

  66. cdhc says:

    @ironchef: It is what it is. I started snapping pics and vid of it as it happened. My only motive was/is to put a few pics of it onto Flickr for laughs (and to try and ensure they don’t repeat the mistake).

  67. cdhc says:

    @dualityshift: We weren’t watching the employees. We got some drinks and were chatting, waiting for the slice. We never saw it go in the bag. Just took it home and found it exactly as seen.

  68. SpecialEd says:

    @cdhc: True or not, it still smells like someone is looking for a payout. You have no proof, so throw that garbage out and move on with life.

  69. dualityshift says:

    @cdhc: I’m still calling BS on this. I think you just wanted free pizza.

  70. I got a mouse in my beer.

    I know you’re from Canada, but you don’t have to reuse story elements from Bob and Doug Mackenzie.

  71. cdhc says:

    To those cynical, it is what it is.

    My friend got a $10 pizza in lieu of the $4 slice.


    Did he blog about it? Call a consumer hotline? The police? Poison control? Try and sue? Extort money? No. He ate his pizza, had a laugh and moved on. (Remember, we’re Canadians).

    Strange but not terribly exciting or complicated.

    For the record: this is not a prank, hoax or attempt at suing someone; we have never bought that Vaseline product before; we were not out partying, we were looking at the ice sculptures in Yorkville when our friend got hungry; and, no, he didn’t notice the slice was 50g heavier, the bag had a bulge, and we didn’t supervise the staff making the slice.

    I appreciate that many people try very hard to have a knock-out opinion in threads like this, to be the “gotcha” guy. This isn’t that kind of story, guys. Sorry.

    Time to GBTW!

    Bon Apetit!

  72. cdhc says:

    @dualityshift: Why would he/I/we plant Vaseline of all things?? Dude!?! Seriously?? LMAO Why the hell would I want to rig my friend getting a free small pizza? The cab home cost more. That makes no sense whatsoever.

  73. cdhc says:

    @SpecialEd: Payout? This is Canada: that’s the last thing on my mind. I just took a funny pic. No more, no less.

    No worries — we’ve moved on…

  74. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    You have no proof, so throw that garbage out and move on with life.

    @SpecialEd: I think you’re on the wrong web site.

    Besides, he got compensated immediately so he’s already “moved on”.

  75. m0unds says:

    Now *that’s* a delicious slice of vegetarian pizza.

  76. dualityshift says:

    @cdhc: Why would he/I/we plant Vaseline of all things??

    Interesting you should ask that.

    Pizza Pizza, investing a LOT of money in keeping a ‘good’ image of Canadian Fast Food, rarely argues over improper orders, late orders, and the like. If you complain to Pizza Pizza, and can verify your order, they will almost 100% of the time either refund your money by way of in-store credit, or offer free food. You may not have gotten the best product on the planet, but no one can argue that their customer service is bad.

    Can we get a show of hands how many people here have called Pizza Pizza customer support? I know I have at least once for bad Pizza. The agent on the phone never argued about anything. I had ordered Hawaiian but there was no pineapple on my pizza. They credited my account and handled that credit properly when I ordered my next pizza.

  77. c_gaun says:

    From the sounds of these posts, I guess I should be glad there are no Pizza Pizzas in BC.

  78. okvol says:

    I’ve searched the comments, and found no reference to the “Flaming Lips”. How sad to see the Internet community rise above that level.

  79. dualityshift says:

    B made the reference above.

  80. banmojo says:

    Pizza + corn holing the delivery boy = typical Canadian Friday night fun, eh? ;^) Hosers!!

  81. skeleem_skalarm says:

    Grosser than a bottle of moisturizer: biting into a slice of pizza only to discover it seems extra chewy because there’s a wad of abc gum on the bottom (true story).

  82. Imaginary_Friend says:

    Maybe they assumed he eats using Cartman’s technique — you know, using the other orifice. The vaseline was obviously a digestive aid.

  83. trujunglist says:


    I have a feeling that the bottle of vaseline may be a bit chewier than a razor blade. In any case, he doesn’t deserve a settlement because he obviously wouldn’t have eaten the pizza with an obviously visible vaseline bottle on it. Your razor blade case is a bit different. I mean shit, if the bottle had been baked under the cheese, I’m fairly certain he still would’ve noticed before biting into it.

    All he should get is his money back and an apology with a promise for better service next time. He wasn’t injured by it, and if he chose to eat the pizza afterwards, then he’s obviously some sort of pervert.

    But, I’m with the camp that says this is BS anyway, so whatever.