Amuse Yourself And Others With Merchandise Stickers

We don’t actually recommend you go into stores and put these stickers on merchandise you haven’t bought, or outdoors on poster ads that you didn’t place. But it’s still fun to look at them and imagine all the great places they would add value to a merch display. The “Actual Size!” stickers are more absurd, but their potential for hilarity is much higher: “80% of public advertisements would be greatly improved by an ‘actual size!’ claim, from 8.5×11 “Regina Spektor Live In Concert!” flyers to ten-foot PS3 banners to airline ads in the subway with pictures of 747s.”

Both sets of stickers are available for sale from their respective sites, although we imagine for about the same price you can probably knock together some DIY versions and avoid the shipping delay.

“Now Slower…” stickers [Evil Mad Scientist via Neatorama]
“Actual Size!” stickers [xkcd]


Edit Your Comment

  1. dorianh49 says:

    Believe it or not, Microsoft would probably sell more copies of Vista if they put that “Now SLOWER And With MORE BUGS!” sticker on their packaging.

  2. SacraBos says:

    “Now Slower and with More Bugs!” Just what I need next time I walk next to a Microsoft Vista display… /ducks chair

  3. SacraBos says:

    @dorianh49: You beat me, but we obviously think alike!

  4. m4ximusprim3 says:

    *sigh* so many vista jokes.

    I like the idea of putting the “actual size” stickers on things which are obviously actual size, like park benches and people.

  5. katiech says:

    I love this idea. Yesterday, I was at the check-out at Wal Mart (ugh), and saw a sticker that said “Great for Stock Suffers” over an item that they had yet to restock, which just happened to be beside a 3-pack of Trojan condoms. I couldn’t resist, so I moved to sticker to the condoms. Have a happy and safe holiday, everyone.

  6. Atomike says:

    I’d like some that say “Incompatible with all software” to put on Macs. Or maybe “Finally – a computer for morons!” or perhaps “Twice the cost, half the computer!”
    I’d buy those.

  7. nequam says:

    @Atomike: You mean “incompatible with shitty Windows apps”? You’re a dipshit. Macs run windows now. Moron.

  8. Jthmeffy says:

    @nequam: yah, but why the fuck would you want to? OSX > Vista for most shit.. I’m working on getting OSX to run on my pc.. I’m tired of of having well over 50% of my memory being used while i’m barely doing a damn thing..

  9. Antediluvian says:

    I love xkcd. Smart AND funny.

  10. Antediluvian says:

    @Antediluvian: I want one of their t-shirts that says, Science: It works, bitches.
    I’ll take a medium or large, please.

  11. hmbddd says:

    I once saw stickers which read “Camera for research purposes only.” They were meant to be placed on the electronic eyes which automatically flush toilets in public restrooms. I really wish I could find them again. Imagine getting into the restroom, seeing that sticker and beginning your search to find the camera that will examine your naughty parts!

  12. KJones says:

    This could end up the same as the McD’s “Grease” stickers, with people charged for putting them on products. “Slower and with more bugs” is a valid criticism of many programs, but that won’t protect you, so be careful.

  13. Antediluvian says:

    @KJones: Well, if you’re charged with putting an “actual size” sticker on something that’s not “actual size,” just tell ’em it refers to the size of the sticker. Near as I can tell (I’ve never seen one in person), the stickers are in fact actual size.

  14. LeopardSeal says:

    @Antediluvian: Seconded.

  15. lascauxcaveman says:

    My wife pulled a funny one Xmas and took a big “Indoor Use Only” sticker off a set of Xmas lights and stuck it onto the new chainsaw she gave me.

  16. benko29 says:

    how come the most trivial posts need to turn into mac-bashing threadfests?

    perhaps that should be put on a sticker or t-shirt

    granted, there’re only a couple anti-mac posts here, but c’mon people, are you that insecure?

    and btw, i hate those mac tv ads, and am not a fan of mac ads, but why can’t people just let it be?

    i hope this post remains un-replied.

  17. kakashisan says:

    @nbenko: Rabble rabble rabble!!

  18. benko29 says:


    great reply, man; real enlightening!

  19. KJones says:


    Putting stickers on things you don’t own can be considered vandalism. And with the implied criticism of the stickers, some companies might try to push for charges to be filed.

    I’m as anti-greed and pro-calitalism as the next guy here, I’m just telling people to be careful.

  20. shades_of_blue says:

    @lascauxcaveman: That’s awesome, I would have started it inside the house, just to see her response.