Poison Toothpaste Also Found In Prisons And Mental Hospitals

We missed this AP article from June 28th but poison toothpaste isn’t just for dollar stores anymore, turns out Georgia prisons and mental hospitals bought hundreds of thousands of the tubes and distributed it to their wards.

In total, 2 state prisons received 846,288 tubes, 5 cuckoo clocks got 14,544 tubes, and 4 juvis received 3600 tubes. This reminds us of a Johnny Cash tune…

I hear the Chinese poison train a comin’
It’s rollin’ ’round the bend
And I ain’t seen the FDA,
Since, I don’t know when,
I’m stuck in Georgian Prison,
And time keeps draggin’ on,
But that Chinese poison train keeps a-rollin’,
On down to San Antone

When I was just a baby,
My Mama told me, “Son,
Always be a good boy,
Don’t ever play with Magstix,”
But I fed a man antifreeze toothpaste in Atlanta,
Just to watch him die,
When I hear that whistle blowin’,
I hang my head and cry.

Tainted Toothpaste Found in US Prisons [Guardian Unlimited]
(Photo: imorgan73)


Edit Your Comment

  1. JustAGuy2 says:

    Are you really in the habit of referring to mental hospitals as cuckoo clocks?

  2. Uriel says:

    how do you think the inmates got that crazy?

  3. Uriel says:

    BTW, I gotta tell ya Ben, that Jezebel side poster there, i donno why, it kinda makes me angry, and annoyed at the same time.

  4. rmz says:

    “Good” quality toothpaste?

    You know there’s a problem if the company’s advertising/package design department only refers to the product as merely “good” quality.

    Plus, “Crust” is comedy gold.

  5. Pelagius says:

    Bonus: The free toothbrush doubles as a shiv!

  6. @JustAGuy2: Yeah, that’s just…odd. It’s new to me anyway.

  7. Steve518 says:

    “Now” what, Crust? Now with more arsenic? Now chunkier?

  8. cyenobite says:

    wow, about 846,288 for only two state prisons? How many people are in those prisons and how long will all those tubes last?! I found one link (not sure the date) that said the entire state of Georgia has 47,000 inmates. That’s 18 tubes per inmate for the entire state?

  9. roamer1 says:

    IIRC, an article that ran in the local Atlanta media said the state paid something like 10 cents a tube for the poison paste. As usual, you get what you pay for…

  10. csandreas says:

    Wow Ben, “cuckoo clocks?”

    I’m a big fan of the Consumerist, but as someone with an ounce of compassion for people with mental disabilities and those who forgo lives of their own to care for them, that seriously crosses the line.

    I hope you’ll consider an edit.



  11. Papercutninja says:

    Ahhhh. Nice. Once again the filthy Communist Chinese make me embarassed of my heritage. Way to go guys!

  12. EtherealStrife says:

    Foolish Chinese. You try to kill of our working class, but instead kill off our “slack”.

  13. backbroken says:

    18 tubes for each incarcerated man? Since when were Georgians that interested in dental care? Let’s investigate the persons who approved this order! I smell a plot to save tax money by shrinking the prison population through slow poisoning!

    Ok…seriously, let’s investigate the people who thought it was a good idea to order this toothpaste. Come on. Crust? 10 cents a tube? If that doesn’t set off your BS detector then you should not be in position to make these decisions.

  14. not_seth_brundle says:

    OK, as awesome as the photo of the Crust Good Quality Tooth Paste is, I don’t think this is the brand ordered by the prisons… the AP article refers to “Pacific” brand.

  15. AT203 says:

    Kudos on the lyrics Ben!

  16. synergy says:

    The link on “watch him die” is broken. You forgot the A HREF…

  17. TVarmy says:

    @csandreas: I agree. That’s a horrible thing to say.

    The world is just starting to understand mental illness and its treatment. Now, we are entering an age where regular people can go to the psychologist without being in fear of being blackmailed or having to feel ashamed. In this age where the mentally ill are no longer considered “possessed” or otherwise cursed, can we at least also consider them our equal citizens, deserving our respect?

    For the record, I love this blog, but I just can’t let you guys get in the habit of saying that kind of stuff.

  18. SexCpotatoes says:

    Won’t someone please think of the convicts…

  19. Papercutninja says:

    My girlfriend works in the mental-health field. It is perfectly legal and acceptable to call them cuckoo-clocks, wackos, nutjobs, insanos, and best of all, assholes.

  20. agalagarag says:

    Nutso Defense Forces to the rescue!