How Not To Submit To iPhone Envy

We could be standing on line outside an Apple Store waiting to get our grubby little hands on an iPhone. We are not, and we’re ok with that. You too can resist the little charmer’s curves and siren song ringtone by remembering the iPhone’s imperfections:

iPhone are expensive: Over the span of a two-year contract, an iPhone will cost at least $2,241. Most carriers offer plans that cost half as much.
The first rule of Apple products is you don’t buy first-generation Apple products: The iPhone may be innovative, but it will probably be flawed like most Apple rev a products. Later generation iPhones will fix bugs revealed by the massive consumer test about to kick off this evening.
iPhones hit bumper-to-bumper traffic on the information superhighway: The Consumerist may take over one minute to load thanks to AT&T’s crud-laden EDGE network.
Do you really need an iPhone? Steve Jobs called iPhone “the best iPod we ever made.” Maybe you just need a new iPod.
Fear commitment : Thanks to a 10% restocking fee, the iPhone costs $50 from the moment you pick it up.
Really, fear commitment: Though iPhones are not subsidized, AT&T will still apply the standard $175 early termination fee.
We have something better than an iPhone: It’s called a laptop. Most of our day is spent at the computer. We cherish brief respites from the internet.
If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with: Now is the best time to renegotiate your contract with your existing carrier. Tell them you will leave for an iPhone if they don’t bend to your demands.

So thanks to these few reminders, you too can be happy with the phone you have. Right?
Yeah, we didn’t think so.
iPhones are so hot right now.

(Photo: Dan H)