Great Moments In Commercial History: Vern Fonk Insurance

What the heck? Our submitter describes Vern Fonk’s commercials as “Hunter S. Thompson-on-mescaline-esque crazy,” and he appears to be correct. Another submitter laments that he can’t seem to find his “favorite” Vern Fonk commercial, but points us to Update: Users reported that this site has a worm. Might be best to stay away for now.

This guy scares us, who would buy insurance from someone who pronounces Christmas “Christ Mas?”

If you’d like to nominate a commercial for our weekly series “Great Moments In Commercial History” send us an email at tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. Be sure to put “Great Moments In Commercial History” in the subject. To see other commercials that have been featured in the series, click here.


Edit Your Comment

  1. Ben Popken says:

    I’m afraid he’s going to eat my face off.

  2. Thrust says:

    They mostly come out at night… Mostly.

  3. Broominator says:

    His family totally doesn’t want to be there…

  4. OwenCatherwood says:

    EA called: they want Kane back on the set of Command & Conquer pronto.

  5. Brazell says:

    I don’t think that’s his family… just some group of unsuspecting children he’s kidnapped.

  6. Odwalla says:

    I wouldn’t click that link to I did and my virus scanner (NOD3) displayed a warning with the following information:


    probably a variant of VBS/Silba.A worm

  7. cbear says:

    OH MY GOD!
    I grew up with this guy’s ads; living in Victoria we got a lot of Washington state TV. I loved them! Some of them were really well done spoofs of movies, tv shows, etc.

  8. mrdelayer says:


    What is with the gesture he makes while he says that?

  9. Ben Popken says:

    @Odwalla: I have nod32, too, and got the same message. Vonk just gets scarier and scarier.

  10. homerjay says:

    I’m scared. I want my insurance salesman to be boring, professional, and serious. This guy acts more like my son’s gymnastics coach.

  11. Kbomb says:

    I grew up on Vern Fonk commercials. Seriously, these things were awesome. Me and my other lose Jr. High friends used to watch late night local chanels just for the chance to see Vern Fonk commercials. There are so many more even better commercials than these going back 10-15 years!

  12. traezer says:

    I grew up with his commercials! I was just waiting for them to show up here. I also lived near one of his offices, but no one would ever honk when they drove by. :(

    PS the real Vern Fonk died last year. (the guy in the commericals is one of the insurance agents.)

  13. cuyahoga says:

    Don’t forget to honk when you drive by Vern Fonk!

    That one is actually pretty “normal” compared to some of his other commercials. I actually haven’t seen any lately on TV. At least they are always entertaining.

    By the way contrary to popular belief the guy in the commercials is not Vern Fonk. He died last year. The guy in the commercials is Rob Thielke.

  14. cuyahoga says:

    @cuyahoga: I guess I should clarify. Vern Fonk died last year not the guy in the commericals.

  15. eli_b says:

    This is great…too many local businesses take themselves too seriously but still have poor production values…these guys just use it to their advantage…nice one.

  16. CapitalC says:

    I too grew up watching these ads – some were amusing, most were awful but you’ve got to admire his creativity!

  17. M3wThr33 says:

    Rollin’ in my Escalade.
    With my stinky dogs and my can of glade.
    I get paid on this escapade. (We on a mission!)
    Yeah, I got some tickets, but I can still kick it.
    Vern Fonk, Vern Fonk, Vern Vern Vern Vern Fonk.

  18. Steel_Pelican says:

    I thought Anton Szandor LaVey was dead.

    Apparently not. Apparently he makes commercials for Vern Fonk insurance.

  19. hemaphore says:

    I grew up with Vern’s ads. I hope one day someone compiles a DVD with all his ads on them…

    …that and Cal Worthington!

  20. Scooter says:

    Vern Fonk is my hero.