According to the Washington Post, Judge Roy “Fancy Pants” Pearson cried when he recalled the moment he was handed the wrong pants by a DC dry cleaner. You’ll recall that Pearson is suing the dry cleaner for $54 million dollars, alleging signs reading “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” constituted consumer fraud. From the Washington Post:

“Never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices,” Pearson said in his opening statement. You don’t get a lot of firsts in recorded history in D.C. Superior Court, though I should add that Marion Barry was in the building for his day in traffic court, and the pants suit easily outdrew the ex-mayor-for-life.

It gets better. One of Fancy Pants Pearson’s witnesses testified, comparing the Mom and Pop dry cleaner to Nazi Germany:

“At 89, I’m not ready to be chased,” she said. “But I was in World War II as a WAC, so I think I can take care of myself. Having lived in Germany and knowing the people who were victims of the Nazis, I thought he was going to beat me up. I thought of what Hitler had done to thousands of Jews.”

Wait. It gets better.

Pearson paused. He struggled to breathe deeply. He could not continue. Pearson blurted a request for a break, stood up, turned around and walked out of the courtroom, tears dripping from his full and reddened eyes.

When he returned, he called that moment when Chung offered him the wrong pants “a Twilight Zone experience,” and again, he welled up and had to halt the proceedings. Pearson wanted to submit the remainder of his testimony in writing, but Judge Bartnoff wouldn’t hear of it.

Wait, we can’t take it anymore, it’s too funny. You’ll have to read the rest on your own.—MEGHANN MARCO

Judge Who Seeks Millions for Lost Pants Has His (Emotional) Day in Court [Washington Post]
(Photo: Inside Edition)

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